A big mistake!

MagicManCan

Just gona start this thread for any input people can give, and there will obviously be people that are gona call me a d**k, which i accept.
Mite as well jump straight in, after getting very drunk one night i cheated on my girlfriend who I know and have always known is the love of my life and she said i was hers. I don't remember much of the night but it didn't go past kissing. But cheating is cheating! Understandably she now hates me and doesn't want to talk much, but she does want me to fight and try and win her back even though it will take at least a few months.
I've since given up drinking and have no intention of being with other people, but I know she has been and will be with more, which kills me but i accept i deserve it.
So if anyone wants to give me any advice on how to best approach the situation it would be much appreciated.

Kimia

Ok, I am not going to beat you up here, you know what you did was wrong. But she is out and about cheating on you right now because 'you deserve it'?? And she's demanded that you must fight to win her back?

I think you behaved badly but have seen the error of your ways and have tried to rectify it. She on the other hand is continuing to behave terribly. I know she must be very hurt but she has lost a lot of dignity by acting this way.

I may not be the popular opinion here but I wouldn't let her treat you this way. You know what you did was wrong and you've apologized and committed to wanting to earn her trust back. She is punishing you very spitefully and I personally would not be able to forgive the malice and immaturity she is showing.

Overheal

It sounds like you already know what you have to do. You've looked at yourself and you see things you don't like? Change them, and change them for good. And do it, don't just say you'll do it. And do it for you, not for her. If you change for anybody but yourself, it never lasts.

If in doing that she comes back around, that's a bonus. If not, don't be discouraged. You'll have learned from it, made the change, and if/when you should happen on another relationship that problem won't come up again.

Pomplamousse

You say that she is the love of your life and you are hers? To be honest OP, if this were the case I don't think that a) you would have cheated in the first place and b) she would be and continue to be with other people while the possibility of the two of you getting back together still exists.
This is just my opinion as I would never ever condone cheating & don't see how anyone could cheat on "the love of their life".
If it were me I would move on.

I am a friend

The two of ye are toxic - why would either of ye want to be in a relationship like this???

P. Breathnach

MagicManCan wrote: »

...
I've since given up drinking and have no intention of being with other people, but I know she has been and will be with more, which kills me but i accept i deserve it.
So if anyone wants to give me any advice on how to best approach the situation it would be much appreciated.

Is she putting herself about because she is finished with you, or to settle scores?

Either way, you are done for.

msg11

It didn't go past kissing? I hardly call hugging someone cheating now in fairness. Or do you mean it did go past kissing!

P. Breathnach

msg11 wrote: »

It didn't go past kissing? I hardly call hugging someone cheating now in fairness. Or do you mean it did go past kissing!

Thresholds vary. If OP and his ex class what happened as cheating (and this seems to be the one thing on which they now agree) then it is cheating.

Johnny_BravoIII

It happens.
It was a once off. None of us are perfect.
You took the honest route which will count for something in the long-run.
Make a plan on what you will do for the next 1-6 months.