Help me! I'm so lost and Confused. . . Weak?

SupaChimp

Firstly hello all.

I'm a 25yr old adopted Korean male raised in England so I don't speak a word of my native language. I've had a couple of relationships. Both girls were of Western descent and both relationships were initiated by them. So I guess it's fair to say I'm inexperienced with dating flirting with new girls or girls in general.

Now, I'm not afraid to admit that I'm SUPER shy around girls that I fancy, its something that I could never grow out of which blows!
I am a confidant person, I can hold conversations with just about anyone. Just not the girl I happen to crush on.
I've never really had an interest in dating Asian girls mainly because I have had limited interactions with them and really didn't find them that appealing. (not trying to make them sound alien to me, my mother is Asian)

So I started a new part time job at a supermarket around 2-3 months ago there are two kinda Fobish Korean girls which I do find very attractive and would possibly like to date (its not just looks they seem like really nice girls) they are also quite good friends I believe, saw them leave work together.

My problem is created by my own lack of confidence and shyness this will sound stupid too but also my work ethic.
I noticed them first week, I didn't think much of it but the more I saw them the more attracted to them I became.
My department is right opposite to them so we can see each other most of the time.

I don't know when they noticed me but they did which makes me
the reason I don't know when they noticed me is because of how I work. I'll place all my efforts into my job, when I'm working the world is basically dead to me I don't look around I just concentrate on the tasks at hand.
I have however seen them smile at me and try to make eye contact while I make my way down the hall. However I avoid it, it's a natural reaction that I really can't control, what makes me sad is because of this they probably think i'm a snob or just not interested!

This went on for a month or so, till I finally sucked it up and approached the girl I like most and asked for her name, I had some lead up questions after this but I didn't have the chance to ask because she bombarded me with questions of her own, such as my name, age, where I'm from, shift days, times and mentioned she was having a party with some fellow Korean co-workers she didn't exactly ask for me to go (This was an opening? ARGH). . . What kinda threw me off was when I mentioned my age she said I look like I just came outta high school and that I looked very young I guess in a playful way I really couldn't tell. . . Confused some??? What does that mean??? I'm immature? What???

Next day I went to work I was swamped so I trudged away and worked hard as usual, didn't have time to initiate another conversation with her and I also found myself not looking again, Unintentional snobbery again. Damn. .

The Sunday which she usually works shes not there. . . but her friend is and is doing a extended shift. I found that she was kinda around my work area on her breaks. Later on she came out back to the stock area, I saw her walking directly to me I kinda acknowledged her but other workmates were asking me work related questions. I stopped answering my other workmates questions and looked at her to see what she needed, but another workmate cut in so I did the quick look around and didn't know who to answer first which made her giggle (the look on her face and her giggle made me melt >_<) I quickly answered all the questions then set my attention on her, she needed some stuff from my cool room which I lead her to, proceeded to pick items that she needed in a quick fashion maybe too quick. . . ? (I was surprised at how good and clear her English was) my nervousness got to me again! whilst I was doing this she followed me into the cool room, when I placed the stuff onto her trolly she thanked me but i felt she wanted to say something else (I could be wrong), nothing happened and we both went off to do our thing again.
When I reflect on this I feel like such a FOOL I should have at least asked her for her name!

Later on another workmate asked me if I could translate some Korean for her, I had no idea how, so I suggested she go to the Korean girl. Workmate says shes too shy etc and pressured me to go and translate for her, of course the alarm bells went off:

WHAT?? WHY IS SHE SHY? WTH??

I still ended up doing it for her anyway because she refused to do it herself and i'm generally a nice guy I'll help however I can.
So. . . I give myself a few minutes to reduce the nerves I have and ask her for this translation. During this short time she seemed receptive and willing to help, I thanked her after and walked off, as soon as I turn, one of her male co-workers chuckles which in turn makes her chuckle/giggle I couldn't tell which made me feel instantly embarrassed but it was manageable since I was already walking off.
Reflection time again. . . DUDE YOU DIDNT ASK HER NAME AGAIN. . . DUMBASS!

I'm just not sure, am I over thinking? Are they BOTH are interested in me? If so what do I do? I havn't really done anything yet anyway just too scared, nervous and shy

I can imagine most people would just say pull your head out your arse and DO something BUT what do I do? I'm terrible at this, my lack of interaction with Asian girls or girls in general adds another layer of difficulty for me also!

I thank those of you in advance who took their time to read this long rant of a post and provide insight into this situation.

All I can think is I fail so hard Lower my head and walk off in shame. SHAME!

_dublinlad_

Hi OP,

The obvious thing would be to just straight out ask her out. But that seems to look impossible to you. So maybe organise going for drinks with some of the other guys you work with, and then mention it whilst talking to her... then say "stop by if you want"

You must stop over thinking things and reading into insignificant things you mentioned in your post. Find a way to ask to see her outside of work, if she is interested she will certainly say yes, if not then... plenty more fish in the sea.

SupaChimp

Hi dublinlad,
Ohhh I really do want to just ask her out! I only worry because if shes just information gathering for her friend and I ask her out . . I'm kinda screwed?

By drink you mean alcohol? I don't drink alcohol or caffeine products, coffee really messes me up lol.

I tend to over think almost everything unfortunately.

I do agree if shes interested a yes is pretty much inevitable.
I'm trying to build that courage and its getting to that point of now or never, do or die. . .

_dublinlad_

SupaChimp wrote: »

Hi dublinlad,
Ohhh I really do want to just ask her out! I only worry because if shes just information gathering for her friend and I ask her out . . I'm kinda screwed?

By drink you mean alcohol? I don't drink alcohol or caffeine products, coffee really messes me up lol.

I tend to over think almost everything unfortunately.

I do agree if shes interested a yes is pretty much inevitable.
I'm trying to build that courage and its getting to that point of now or never, do or die. . .

OK. Ask a few guys you work with do they want to do something outside of work. If its the pub - you dont have to drink, just have a coke. Maybe look for a gig or festival to go to insted.

If she was only information gathering for her friend - then well... sh** happens..

daisybelle2008

OP, you seem very intense and a bit highly strung. Try to relax a little and not overthink stuff so much. All this overanalysing and then beating yourself over minor stuff like not asking a name. I am not sure what to make of you to be honest. You appear to be American, your language and phrasing. The word 'fobish' is american slang and you not understanding what 'going for a drink' means.
All the emphasis on the Asian stuff is really not as relevant as you are building it up.
Simply put there are two girls you kind of fancy at work, just see how it plays out and try to relax and chat a bit more if an opportunity comes up. Things happen for a reason and let fate run it's course. Maybe suggest some bowling with them and see who there is more rapport with and go from there if the opportunity presents it. It is not such a big hairy deal as you are intent on making it.

Distorted

You are overthinking. You need to calm down, as you come across as really over-excited, which if you present the same front to most women, will be a bit off-putting. Why don't you watch the way other guys speak to women and copy the successful ones. Remember that less can sometimes be more - its better not to give all your conversation up on the first meeting. Since you work with these girls, its hardly a problem you didn't ask their names on the occasions you narrate in great detail.

I also think you need to stop seeing women as some kind of seperate species and start trying to like them first as members of the human race. Relationships often develop out of friendships, so maybe just be friendly towards them until you get to know them (as individuals) and look out for signs of mutual attraction before asking them out on a date.

And calm down!

Killed By Death

I'd echo what the other posters said, calm down OP! Girls are just people and them being Asian is no big deal. I'm sure they're just the same as any girls and if they're smiling at you then good. Stop blanking them, by the way.

This silly nonsense about your 'work ethic' too, it's just a part time Supermarket job!! Part of how people get through the day at work is to be friendly with others and have a little flirt!

So what if you ask out the wrong one. The world won't end! But please do stop blanking them, just smile, say hello and behave normally! It's a Supermarket not a brain surgery theater!!