Relationship goals(?)

azezil

When you're in a relationship with someone, we'll say still early days few months in nothing too serious yet but you like this person you get on well. Then you're having a chat and it's revealed that your partner doesn't share your views of where this relationship may potentially lead.

For example, you hope to someday get married settle down n all that jazz but for them that's an absolute zero possibility, no amount of talk or persuasion is going to change their mind, it's never going to happen.

What do you do? Do you call it off there and then or would you keep going on with it because you're enjoying their company, do you compromise and play it by air see where things lead if anywhere?

I've been pondering this lately and I can't decide.

Dr. Baltar

Why have a "goal"? Relationships evolve in their own way.

Hamhide

I was in the same place about 3 years ago,i was 17-18 and was maddly in love with a guy who just wanted some nsa fun.he was my first propper time and its probably why i was so into him but he never wanted anything more and it tore me apart.still i kept seeing him and for ''fun'' and had my heart broken a lot so i decided i'd spare myself the pain and just never see him again,i found a guy a few months after and now we have our own place and thinking of getting some pets.Trust me,if they dont want what u want then its not worth it and your just going to hurt yourself.hope this helps ^_^

azezil

Dr. Baltar wrote: »

Why have a "goal"? Relationships evolve in their own way.

Well think of it more of a life goal then if you wish but to achive this particular goal a relationship happens to come first

oisindoyle

azezil wrote: »

When you're in a relationship with someone, we'll say still early days few months in nothing too serious yet but you like this person you get on well. Then you're having a chat and it's revealed that your partner doesn't share your views of where this relationship may potentially lead.

For example, you hope to someday get married settle down n all that jazz but for them that's an absolute zero possibility, no amount of talk or persuasion is going to change their mind, it's never going to happen.

What do you do? Do you call it off there and then or would you keep going on with it because you're enjoying their company, do you compromise and play it by air see where things lead if anywhere?

I've been pondering this lately and I can't decide.

Well first off,congrats on the relationship ,delighted for ya :-)

Bit of a difficult one I guess,,but if you are both enjoying the relationship as it is and having fun,then just take each day as it comes .
Who knows what lies ahead,,,
It could be that because it's still early days, he doesnt want to reveal his true feelings is holding back a little in case he gets hurt (we've all done it to an extent ),,,,see how it goes and if in a few months he doesnt want to settle down ,then re access things ,,
Wish you well .........

azezil

I meant this as a more general thread, not about me . Hell I'm not ready to settle down just yet, but some day I think I would like to.

oisindoyle

azezil wrote: »

I meant this as a more general thread, not about me . Hell I'm not ready to settle down just yet, but some day I think I would like to.

Aaah for GAWDS sake ,,now you just ruined the moment .I was being real nice 'n all !!

Rick_

My goal? To actually have a nice relationship at some point before I die. Sooner rather than later would be nice!

Nyan Cat

theres a fine line between a goal and an expectation though. goals are reached with a mixture of compromise, life path changes, evolving, that kind of thing. whereas an expectation is pretty much an 'all or nothing' way of thinking.
Say you want to marry someday. But your partner reveals that they dont believe in marriage, were married before and wont do it again or something like that. well you have options that start with talking about it. do you both feel its worth staying with each other and working out the differences? perhaps youd be happy with him without the paper or maybe he would consent to a commitment ceremony (not marriage but its a symbol)
you only know yourselves if you want to work at it, if what you have (in those early days) is worth holding onto at least a while longer or if you are both better off calling it a day and finding more likeminded partners.

theres no hard and fast rule.
however i must say in my case... i think long term but if someone came on so strong as to talk that far into the future id be a bit freaked out to be honest.

wonderfulname

When it's early days I think you should just enjoy the relationship for what it is, so long as the lines of communication remain open you can play it by ear and address things like that as they become issues.

There's nothing wrong with just enjoying being with someone, so long as everybody knows where they stand that is.