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Can't make up my mind

lostgirl147 · 2012-04-09 16:36:35

I know that there are people who probably think that this isn’t a very big problem and I know how lucky I am to have a job and be able to afford going away to college etc. but this issue is really causing me to stress. I am planning to go to UK next September to complete a course, but I am having doubts it’s the right…

09-04-2012 4:36pm

#1

lostgirl147

Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭

Join Date: April 2012

Posts: 0

I know that there are people who probably think that this isn’t a very big problem and I know how lucky I am to have a job and be able to afford going away to college etc. but this issue is really causing me to stress.

I am planning to go to UK next September to complete a course, but I am having doubts it’s the right decision. I am a mental health nurse and have wanted from the beginning to change into a general nurse. This course allows me to so that. This was always my long term goal but put it off for various reasons over the years. So last year I reached the point where I had decided that I had had enough of current work setting and began to put my plan into action.

So now for the problem…I’m not so sure that I should be staying in nursing at all. I have grown to hate mental health nursing. I never felt very confident in dealing with the very unwell and aggressive patients, inside I was always very fearful and this led me to feelings of stressed and suffering anxiety and depression. I hid it very well and no one would ever have guessed how much I suffered as it never affected my work and I was always very good at my job. I left the acute settings because of this. I wanted to travel so took a year out promising myself never to step foot back in that kind of job again.

So after my year away I was back and need to work. I look a job in a nursing home. But found I couldn’t handle the stress of that either. I wondered was it because I lacked experience of general care and perhaps if I was generally trained it wouldn’t be so hard. I always wanted to be a general nurse but that experience has knocked my confidence and now I’m not so sure. I know that all nursing is very stressful and I’d hate to find my self in a position 2-3 years down the line stressed and depressed and hating my job again. I do love nursing but I hate feeling that way.

I had a one point made up my mind to start a different career and almost did but fear got in the way of that too and so I find myself not sure of what I’m doing or what I want to do.

I’m back working in mental health in a low stress environment for the moment but can’t stay here forever. I’m literally counting the days till I leave. I get bored easily and wonder if all this is just me avoiding something more serious. I can’t commit to anything or anyone and I am forever searching for happiness but never content that I’ve found it.
Not really sure what I asking here but any options would help me see this clearer. Sorry for long post and thanks for reading.

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