friend and her cats damage to my home

LegacyUser

This is long

A friend of mine called over last month- I had not seen or heard from her in about 5 months, she just rang and said she was around and could she pop in. So she did and over a cuppa started ranting about how she had a cruise booked (which was a week away) but will have to cancel as the catterys full and she has no one to take her cat.

She kept going on about it- and I knew she was hinting. Kept saying I had cats before and saying “You understand how hard it is to find someone you trust to mind them”. Then my hubby walked in and heard and said “Oh we will take him for the 2 weeks” TBH I wasn’t too happy because she hadn’t come near me in months and all of a sudden she wanted a favour!

So her cat arrived with a list of instructions. Basically indoors at all times, has to have the the run of the house (and said on the list that if he is restricted access to any room he will poo outside the door out of temper ) has to have certain food - camlot gold or something which is 1.00 for a small tin (the size of a shot glass) and she left no food with him and no money for his food.Left no cat litter box or cat litter and no toys for him… id to buy those for him.

Long story short during his stay he crapped twice at the back door because we wouldn’t let him out (we were told not to as hes a purebred) ripped a new pair of curtains- scratched a hole in my leather couch, used my bathroom contour wallpaper as a scratching area and has ripped through to the wall and crapped outside my bedroom door when we closed it to have some privacy.

Also in the 2 weeks we had him we spent over 45euro on food for him.cos he eats like a horse and will only eat that Camelot stuff and theres bearly 2 teaspoons in those tins

She came back from holiday with a thanks and a fridge magnet. Now TBH im not happy. Ive told her the damage hes done and I got back “Ah that’s cats for ya” - she has made no effort to apoligise for the damage- or even pay me for the cat food/litter/toys I bought, never mind the carpet cleaner to remove the smell of her cats crap from my carpet. My hubby thinks I should let it go but im not happy. A friend took my cat before for a weekend while I went away and as well as leaving her food and money for more food she got a bottle of wine and chocs as a thank you. Now im not saying I deserve that but she knows im out of pocket from buying him food/toys/litter and she hasn’t even mentioned it.

Can anyone give me any advice on what I should do ?

ihsb

Let her know that you feel taken advantage of and never do a favour for her again. She will soon regret it.

Medicine333

I can't believe what I have just read. I really sympathise with you, and can understand the anger and helpless frustration you're feeling right now!

You tell her that there is a €45 cat food bill outstanding, and that you have to repair the damage the cat did to your furnishings. Also, be honest and straight with her. You are disappointed that she took advantage of you and that she failed to pay or adequately apologise for the damage to your house.

Believe me, you will feel a lot better.

You shouldn't let her get away with this, because she will repeat her actions on another good soul like yourself, and moreover, to confront her will put you at ease. That is the only way you will be at peace with this situation!

Happy Easter:)

Oh my god, i would be RAGING - and I have 5 cats! if I ever get the chance to go away i ask my mother in law to feed them twice a day(she lives next door) as we live in a rural area, they stay outside till she puts them in at night. Even at that i dont like burdening her!

I would never go anywhere without leaving plenty of food for them, id leave a bottle of wine for her when i was going and bring something nice back as well.

The worse part is your "friend" being so precious about letting the cat out! jesus, how did you put up with that for TWO weeks? You seriously need to tell her she owes you money for cat food - i mean you shouldnt even have had to ask, its only manners to supply food, if she can afford to take a two week cruise then 45 euro for cat food wont hurt. She sounds like a right user, and I suspect the cattery was "full" because she didnt want to pay for it.

ElleEm

OP, you should channel your annoyance of this post into a conversation with her.

You did her a favour, and she abused that.

I would be getting on to her straight away and say you forgot to get the money off her for the cat's food/ litter stuff. Just play dumb, like she forgot to give it to you so you're ringing to remind her.

She doesn't sound like much of a friend.

houndsoflove

If you don't want to say it to her, either send her on this link or print it and post it to her

I would definately say it to her tho :mad:

thefeatheredcat

OP I'm livid reading this - I've looked after my parents cats numerous times over the last few years and the one thing that they always ensure is that there is always, always food for them. They deliberately stock up extra in advance. Cat food can cost a fortune depending on the brand. Cat toys can be really expensive (although my parents cats love things like the milk bottle lids and empty toilet rolls to play with along with whatever else they find) and things like a cat litter tray, cat litter, the having to clean it out and refill it, all adds up and I suppose the only good thing is that the cat didn't suddenly get sick that you were left with vet bills!

I think it was very thoughtless of her not to book the cattery at the same time as the cruise, and I get the impression she either didn't want to stump up the cash for the cattery or to leave the cat there for 2 weeks because they wouldn't have given into her list of demands rather than that the cattery was "full".

I think she owes you the money back for the damage and the cost of food, the toys, litter tray, cat litter, bowl etc, everything that you had to pay for that she didn't provide for her cat. I certainly would be asking if I were in that position. I wouldn't be letting that one go so easily, not if I had to go go out and purchase the actual items the cat needed for such as these that she should have provided at her cost or dropped around to you or at the very least left you money for to purchase the cat food, especially for expensive stuff that costs €1 a tin dish.

And definitely I would ditch her as a "friend" and have nothing to do with her after I get my money back. That was incredibly selfish of her to dump her responsibility on you like that (via guilt and manipulation) without providing a single thing or item that HER cat needed.

Have you taken photos of the damage? Do you still have all the receipts?

Chucky the tree

No offence OP but you and your husband sound like a pair of doormats. Chances are she only tried this on because she knew you'd be a complete push-over and would let her walk all over you which is exactly how it happened. Firstly when she dropped the cat off with no money and long list you should have told her you're not taking them or else you're just going to leave it outside for two weeks. At the very very least you should have bought the cheapest cat food there is in aldi or lidl and just given her that. Cats aren't dumb, if after 3 days it hasn't eaten it isn't going to do a Bobby Sands and martyr itself in protest so it will just eat anything.

To deal with the problem now I'd itemise everything the cat has cost you, meet up with her and tell her you'll be expecting to be paid for the damage, food, litter etc. Don't ring or text, it'll just be easier to dismiss you. Lastly I'd wouldn't consider her a friend or have anything to do with her in future, she's not a friend. She just sees you as someone she can use.

Jen Pigs Fly

I would be going mad, I puppy sitted a 10 week old pup two weeks ago for 4 days.

Owners supplied everything for me, puppy was in his own house, I had to go in 4 times a day, which included cleaning up after him 2/3 times a day (He was not fully house trained)

I didn't have to spend a penny, as they had supplied everything - wet/dry food, puppy pads, wipes, disinfectant spray, poop bags. And I got paid afterwards.

OP I would get onto her and tell her just how much she owes you. And then cut her out of my life, I have no time for free loaders especially when it comes to animals.

cafecolour

She's probably alienated everyone else in the same way, which is why she called up to you to take the cat.

Honestly, you really have to options:

Try and get the money out of her, perhaps via small claims court, if you feel its worth it and want your 'revenge'.

Or simply let it go, and never communicate with her again, as she's just a user.

I am a friend

The solution - tell your hubby to keep his gob dunta the next time... He offered to mind the cat, let him pay for it...

Joking aside, you need to send her the bill but tbh i think its a bit late. you should have said it to her when she was collecting the cat. ya snooze, ya lose.

tinkerbell

OP I think tbh you were a bigger fool to agree to this in the first place.

First of all, you haven't heard from her in 5 months and agree to mind the cat. That was your first mistake. Then you accept the cat into your home with a list of conditions a mile long and you are provided with no food, toys, etc. for the cat. You should NEVER have let that cat into your home without sufficient food, etc. being supplied and it should be abiding to YOUR house rules, not your crazy friend's rules.

I mean seriously, how were you so naive to accept her list of rules? i.e. letting the cat have the run of the house? It's a CAT!

Really, I feel bad for you in that your belongings have been damaged, etc. but I think this is your own fault. You brought it on yourself. I think you should give her a bill for the food, toys, etc. you bought for the cat and then the list of damages (incl. the bill for the carpet cleaner) of what you incurred because of your friend's cat. But I doubt you're gonna get anything for it. I do also suggest that you do this to her face and I also suggest you dump this "friend" like a hot potato because she clearly has no respect for you.

blatantrereg

I'd ask them if they wanted to cover the expenses their cat caused.
If they didn't agree I wouldn't pursue it. I'd just ditch them as a friend. Sometimes it's worth more to get rid of bad people than to take on the hassle of getting back what they owe you.

MistyCheese

tinkerbell, the OP says it was her husband who actually said "We'll take the cat."

OP you should definately let this woman know that you are expecting your money to be returned to you. It's not like you're worried about losing her as a friend. People who use you in this way are not friends to begin with so you should certainly attempt to retrieve your money.

Be firm, don't let her wave it away. At least you know she will try to wriggle out of it so you can be ready for her.

crazy cat lady: "Oh, you know cats."
fahcdtmh: "Yes, cats are crazy. My money please."
crazy cat lady: "Oh, I don't really have a lot of money right now."
fahcdtmh: "Yeah, times are tough. However your cat damaged my home and ate €45 worth of cat food. My money please."
crazy cat lady:"I can't believe you're asking for money for minding my precious little kitty cat! Some friend you are!"
fahcdtmh: "I can't believe you expect me to pay for your cat. My money please."

Benny_Cake

OP, we own two cats and I'd never treat someone the way you were treated. There are no shortage of catteries so I can only assume she was being cheap - the fact that she didn't supply food beggars belief. I'd leave her in no doubt as to where she stands and would never do a favour for her again.

ABajaninCork

If your friend was too cheap to pay for a cattery, why didn't she get in a cat feeder or ask a neighbour to feed her cat?

Oh I get it - She probably did the same crap with the neighbours, and has used up her supply of of goodwill!!

woodoo

My god, this woman is no friend of yours. She is an out and out user. Cleanse yourself of her completely. I doubt you will get money.

Distorted

Thats awful! Speaking from experience of just having looked after friends' cat for three days, in their own house, with all the food and litter provided. And they have thanked me profusely and are taking me out for dinner to say thank you!

I really think this woman (I would not call her a "friend") is taking the mickey. For your own sanity, I would tell her, in a one off way, what she did was terribly rude and unacceptable. Don't worry about losing the friendship - if she is any sort of friend she will make it up to you, otherwise she's not worth having!

curlzy

Another cat owner here and I am horrified:eek:. Not only is she a lousy friend, she's a lousy owner too, only for you're softhearted another person could have let the cat go hungry or ****ed it out of the house when it was dumped on them without supplies. She sounds like a right, nasty little madam, I would ask ONCE for the cash, if she didn't give it I would just let it go, seems like a cheap price to get rid of such a scummy human being from my life.

Emme

OP, what does a cattery cost for 2 weeks? Find out, and you'll find out what you have been taken for.

LegacyUser

Hi this is the op

Thank you for all the replies. Just want to clear up a few things.

When she was banging on about me taking her cat I was giving her no hop, but when I popped to the loo and came back my hubby was like “Oh I said we would take the cat” so id look like some cow if I said no after he saying yes

When he arrived with no stuff I called her straight away and she said “Oh he must have forgotten the stuff for the cat, ill call him and get it over to you” And it never arrived. She never called once on her trip and I left her a few voicemails telling her id to buy all the stuff and she never got back to me.

I have been calling her every day and texting about this- I refuse to let it go. Ive receipts from the food / litter / toys id to buy, and taken pictures of the damage which I have emiled to her and I have told her she owes me money. All ive gotten back is that “im a money hungry cow “ and she claimed her cat had fleas when it came back from my house. Id love to know how that happened because he wasn’t near another animal the whole time he was here.

thefeatheredcat

ophere wrote: »

All ive gotten back is that “im a money hungry cow “ and she claimed her cat had fleas when it came back from my house. Id love to know how that happened because he wasn’t near another animal the whole time he was here.

Yes I can see that she is willing to shift the blame away from herself and onto you by calling you "a money hungry cow"....if people knew the truth about what she did and how unwilling she has been about refunding you the costs of everything plus the damage they would see it as unjustified. She more than likely doesn't like the pressure and this is her hitting out - but that's the gratitude you get for helping out someone who is a user you just get called names as soon as you confront them about it all when you are in the right and they are in the wrong.

It's made me see so clearly that she completely expected you to take the cat at a minutes' notice, without food or litter tray or anything it needed and for you to stump up the cash for it and for you to never say a word about looking for money back for things she should have provided. Hence the name calling and avoidance because you've done what she has not expected you to do - stand up for yourself and demand your money back.

I guarantee once you've burnt your bridge with this girl now she knows you will stand up for yourself she will be reluctant to use you again.

Nyan Cat

Disgusting way for her to behave.
You're right to take the position you have!

I feel sorry for the cat. If she'd dump it like that without anything do much as a bowl she clearly doesn't care about it much. It's almost like she gave the list of rules to give an impression that she does care about her precious cat.
If she didn't bring the litter tray and toys (food aside) but fully expected you to adhere to her rules I actually question if she imposes those rules herself.

She's toxic you're well out of that 'user-ship'

ABajaninCork

Yup! Send her a bill from Rentokil and add that on to the bill...

Time maybe to up the stakes a little? Send a registered letter and copy of the charges threatening court action if she doesn't pay within 14 days!:P

People like her have no shame. And the cheeky cow has the nerve to call YOU money hungry?? :eek: She's got more front than Sainsbury's!!

Oh and as for your DH? I'd be thinking of ways to make him miserable after agreeing to take on this person's cat without consulting you!!

Johnny_BravoIII

"a money hungry cow".

O'god I'd lose it!
I'd definitely be waiting outside her house.

I am a friend

Make a claim in the small claims court. Keep all her correspondence to you and dont get into a spat with her...

tbh

I would write down the total amount of money you paid on a piece of paper, look at it, and regard it as the best money you ever spent, seeing as how it got that freeloading cow out of your life forever.

Lifes too short op.

Nothingbetter2d

give her the name of a good kennel to keep her cat while she is away. or tell her your allergic to cats

whatdoicare

If it was me I wouldn't have bought anything for someone elses cat - not a single thing - If she hadn't delivered the stuff for the cat I would have brought the cat to the nearest cattery under her name and address, not even looked at the price of it and then it's her problem to pay the bill for the cat after that.

You can be damn sure I wouldn't have left it in my house to damage my stuff or followed any of those made up "rules".

Failing that - straight to the pound with it.

I have no money to be wasting on other peoples stupidity.

Since you didn't think of that earlier - get your receipts together and it's time for small claims court. She's no friend of yours.

blatantrereg

blatantrereg wrote: »

I'd ask them if they wanted to cover the expenses their cat caused.
If they didn't agree I wouldn't pursue it. I'd just ditch them as a friend. Sometimes it's worth more to get rid of bad people than to take on the hassle of getting back what they owe you.

woodoo wrote: »

My god, this woman is no friend of yours. She is an out and out user. Cleanse yourself of her completely. I doubt you will get money.

tbh wrote: »

I would write down the total amount of money you paid on a piece of paper, look at it, and regard it as the best money you ever spent, seeing as how it got that freeloading cow out of your life forever.

Lifes too short op.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAuSTQUa3tM

whatdoicare wrote: »

Failing that - straight to the pound with it.

Pounds aren't safe places for animals. There is a high chance of infection with terminal disease. Even in animal shelters which are kept clean and separate animals as much as possible - which function to look after neglected animals - this is the case. Pounds are not so well kept, and function to remove strays from the streets rather than look after them. The possibility of infection is pretty high.

whatdoicare

Pounds aren't safe places for animals. There is a high chance of infection with terminal disease. Even in animal shelters which are kept clean and separate animals as much as possible - which function to look after neglected animals - this is the case. Pounds are not so well kept, and function to remove strays from the streets rather than look after them. The possibility of infection is pretty high.

Yes, what's your point? As far as I'm concerned an owner that hands over an animal without money or food for it is no different than a cat picked off the road with no owner.