THE EPIC STORY!!

SEANoftheDEAD

Right, thread idea here... we're all gonna write a big story!

The thread is only allowed reach 100 pages and each poster can only contribute a paragraph everytime he posts.

Kick things off with a once apon a time in Ireland post, and then let everyone one by one add whatever they want to the story and see how creative we all can be. Try to keep it senseable and hopefully the end result will be some very enjoyable reading...

Who's gonna kick us off?

Reamer Fanny

utopianruins wrote: »

Right, thread idea here... we're all gonna write a big story!

The thread is only allowed reach 100 pages and each poster can only contribute a paragraph everytime he posts.

Kick things off with a once apon a time in Ireland post, and then let everyone one by one add whatever they want to the story and see how creative we all can be. Try to keep it senseable and hopefully the end result will be some very enjoyable reading...

Who's gonna kick us off?

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

Sharpshooter

justryan wrote: »

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

...a thread landed in the nest...

SEANoftheDEAD

Hot Lips wrote: »

...a thread landed in the nest...

The threads of Captain Posty's jackets fall onto the floor of his ship, The Cuckoo's Nest... as he struggles against his nerves while been chased by soliders of the evil galatic villian, MODACUS...

psychward

...when suddenly he wakes up and realizes it was all a dream , a day dream in fact and he is a grey boring civil servant in an anonymous mass concrete building in downtown Singapore. Staring out the window he sighs vainly ''damn I wish I was back on that Space Ship''. Maybe I should call my dealer and get stoned tonight when I get home....

Sharpshooter

utopianruins wrote: »

The threads of Captain Posty's jackets fall onto the floor of his ship, The Cuckoo's Nest... as he struggles against his nerves while been chased by soliders of the evil galatic villian, MODACUS...

..who gave utopianruins his utopia... but..

SEANoftheDEAD

then the dream becomes reality, as Singapore has come under attack by the evil MODACUS

psychward

''Modacus, Modacus are you ok ? Modacus.'' Modacus identifies the voice of his supervisor at work.. ''You slipped on a banana skin, hit your head and were mumbling something about space travel, are you ok ?'' ''Maybe you should take the rest of the day off.''
Modacus suddenly realizes that he is back in his grey boring office building never to escape.

Sharpshooter

utopianruins wrote: »

then the dream becomes reality, as Singapore has come under attack by the evil MODACUS

...who decides that Singapore shall now be known as Speaknomore and the ruins are in danger from the sleepy nesters who shall soon awaken and band together to decide the ruins fate

Princess Peach

And then a ginormeous woolly monster came riding up on his tricycle and he ate all the presents, he ate every single one of them.

psychward

Princess Peach wrote: »

And then a ginormeous woolly monster came riding up on his tricycle and he ate all the presents, he ate every single one of them.

''That will teach you for going off topic'' the pan dimensional omnipotent Godlike being exclaimed as he drove a stake into the heart of Modacus , dismembered the body into 99 pieces , burnt each piece individually in a different galaxy at secret locations before finally erasing all existence of Modacus from the timeline. As the God-like angry being additionally sentenced the Earth to an eternity without space travel as punishment for broadcasting boyband signals to far away galaxies where billions of offended viewers had complained in their prayers giving the God-like being a headache, the Grey civil servant knew his dreams of space travel were extinguished once and for all. The inter dimensional force field went up blocking all communications between the Earth and the outside world. The civil servant sank to his knees in despair but then remembered his big pension and the fact that now there was no chance of another ''fairer'' system taking over as the World Government was on it's own now. ''It's a sunny day today , I think I will take a sick day and put in an expense form for tomorrow's turning up money'' he muttered to himself ''but first I will use free stamped envelopes to write to my TDs demanding that the unemployed should have to sell their organs before my tax money supports them. The nerve of them carrying around means such as livers and corneas worth 20k each.'' He smirked as he ''accidentally lost'' someones jobseekers allowance application form. ''Yes indeed this will be a good day.''

Paddy Samurai

''Yes indeed this will be a good day.''

He screamed excitedly ,just before his brains were splattered onto his empty desk.High above in the rafters the Ninja assassin dropped silently onto the floor.Moving swiftly the ninja stripped the dead body using a small razor-sharp blade concealed in his left nostril.Once stripped,the Ninja used surgical precision to remove the kidneys and liver from the corpse.
In the blink of an eye,along with an explosion of fairy dust, the Ninja riverdanced down the corridor and out the fire escape where he plunged 35 storeys to the ground.Lucky for him he fell on his head, and managed to cartwheel into the nearest KFC. Using a wad of coleslaw as a poultice ,he accelerated to blur mode and hijacked the nearest nightlink.Leaving the driver and all passengers a bloody ruin ,he headed towards wicklow.His last thought as he sped towards his secret lair ....................."Damn I forgot the onions"

Paddy Samurai

Three years later ,Adolf the Iberian pig farmer found himself hot on the trail of the dastardly ninja cannibal who had killed his uncle pat.In fact he could'nt believe how hot it was here in the article circle ,until he realised that it was probably the jar of jalapeño peppers that he had consumed for lunch that had him sweating like a otter.Suddenly out of no where there appeared....

C.K Dexter Haven

...a mod called Star-Trek who closed this whole thread down, and started a rebellion which lasted a whole 3 minutes.

Teafor two12345

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

...a mod called Star-Trek who closed this whole thread down, and started a rebellion which lasted a whole 3 minutes.

The different factions of boards.ie started to attack each other. Personal issues letter bombed the the AMA forum...it was totally inappropriate. The cuckoos threw custard at each other. This was all brilliantly accompanied but the Dr Strangelove soundtrack. We'll meet again ...don't know where ..don't know when!...'

Someone shot a missile out of a plane and Devore jumped out behind diving on and riding it screaming 'yee haw yee haw. ' It landed on boards.ie but having decided not to kill everyone Devore and the mods had modified it it exploded landing frog spawn everywhere. 'Dude that is soooo not funny' Everyone said. The mods didn't care. Thousands of regged users closed their accounts only to crash three servers when they immediately tried to re -reg.

The only ones left were the trolls and mods. It was meant to be like this from the beginning. Troll vrs mod. No one knew who would win. But ..............

C.K Dexter Haven

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

The different factions of boards.ie started to attack each other. Personal issues letter bombed the the AMA forum...it was totally inappropriate. The cuckoos threw custard at each other. This was all brilliantly accompanied but the Dr Strangelove soundtrack. We'll meet again ...don't know where ..don't know when!...'

Someone shot a missile out of a plane and Devore jumped out behind diving on and riding it screaming 'yee haw yee haw. ' It landed on boards.ie but having decided not to kill everyone Devore and the mods had modified it it exploded landing frog spawn everywhere. 'Dude that is soooo not funny' Everyone said. The mods didn't care. Thousands of regged users closed their accounts only to crash three servers when they immediately tried to re -reg.

The only ones left were the trolls and mods. It was meant to be like this from the beginning. Troll vrs mod. No one knew who would win. But ..............

...over in one small little forum, where few know about, and even fewer visit, life continued as normal. It's as if the big boards.ie war didn't happen. The most exciting thing that happened was when someone counted forwards, as opposed to backwards, but quickly corrected their post, so even the members of that forum hardly noticed it happening.

How and ever, that was before...................

Teafor two12345

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

...over in one small little forum, where few know about, and even fewer visit, life continued as normal. It's as if the big boards.ie war didn't happen. The most exciting thing that happened was when someone counted forwards, as opposed to backwards, but quickly corrected their post, so even the members of that forum hardly noticed it happening.

How and ever, that was before...................

People's bums started to fall off.

C.K Dexter Haven

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

People's bums started to fall off.

The end.

Teafor two12345

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

The end.

Then their ends fell off .

C.K Dexter Haven

Teafor two12345 wrote: »

Then their ends fell off .

Index

Paddy Samurai

C.K Dexter Haven wrote: »

Index

I.N.D.E.X. spelt adolf as he brushed aside the snow on the concealed sign buried deep within the cave, beside a massive steel vault door. Underneath the words “Institute for Narp Discovery and Extermination” appeared , finally making sense of all that had transpired before.“
They are trying to wipe out all the normal people” muttered Adolf to himself as suddenly a big grin transfixed his features and he started to dance with joy!. I’m safe!, I’m safe he bellowed as he romped among the deep snow.
“What makes you think that ?.” a deep voice rumbled from behind……………

La.de.da

Safe.... safe. You are far from safe.
You are but a mere mortal zygote used to help me in my plans for interstellar domination.

Paddy Samurai

La.de.da wrote: »

Safe.... safe. You are far from safe.
You are but a mere mortal zygote used to help me in my plans for interstellar domination.

That and resurrecting the magical alternative reality that was once know as Xtravision.Aldolf quickly reached into his luminescent tangerine pants to activate the Nitwit 500 disconbobblelater.In the blink of a eye his time machine had whisked him to.................