Confused & upset

LegacyUser

Regular poster but going annon for this one. Head is all over the place and would appreciate some advice....

Ok so broke up with my boyfriend of a year 2 weeks ago, he did it over text and have not heard a peep from him since. The thing is we broke up a few weeks before that - nothing major happened we were just fighting a lot and felt we needed a break. He came running back the usual couldn't live without me, was madly in love with me and was even talking about proposing - joking or otherwise.

Here's the confusing bit when we got back together everything was great, better then it had ever been, we were getting on so well and he kept saying how happy he was and how much he loved me. There were no arguments for weeks, we were planning a holiday for the summer etc. Then all of a sudden out of the blue i get a text saying things are not working, no argument - not a thing happened and then its just all over and I have heard nothing since.

I am so frustrated and confused because this guy chased me for months and months and it took a lot for me to let him in after being in a bad relationship before which took a few yrs to get over properly. Every time we go out and even up until our last night out a couple of weeks ago his mates constantly tell me how much he loves me and that he never shuts up about how happy he is and how great I am. So what is he playing at? Most of my friends thoughts are 'he's a man' but that's not helping. I know people might say ask him to talk but that wont happen cos he's such a closed book. I have also heard from mutual friends that he had asked me to meet up to talk face to face loads of times but I refused which is a complete lie. I don't know how someone who is supposed to be so head over heels with someone can behave like that and break up with someone over text when nothing happened and kept saying how great things were going???

Any thoughts or advice guys would be great.

thefeatheredcat

Ouch OP and I know in part what it's like. Given that you made the effort to let him into your life, don't be downhearted in giving trust when someone who will treat you better comes along. Keep an open heart and don't let him having left you with frustration or confusion weigh on your mind or heart.

Breaking up over text is cowardly and lying about it to friends is immature but also put the blame and responsibility of it ending it that way back on you in the eyes of his friends, to save face and as Sunflower said, to avoid looking like the bad guy.

Any confusion you feel about why he broke up out of the blue or while previously maintaining love for you, I would take that it whatever his decision or reason it wasn't about you but more something to do with his own self.

I wouldn't go down the road of wondering about his behaviour but to acknowledge that he choose to do things this way and that speaks volumes about the person he is.

Give yourself time and indulge yourself in things that make you happy and you enjoy to keep yourself busy.

blatantrereg

Reminds me of an ex telling me that a guy had pretty much begged to get back together when they broke up only so he could be the one to dump her. [He openly admitted this in that case]. Dont know if that's the case here but it might be a possibility.

I would take that it whatever his decision or reason it wasn't about you but more something to do with his own self.

That rings true. Probably the best answer you'll easily get.

LegacyUser

Hi op here, thanks for the replies. I guess one thing I can take from it is I know I did nothing wrong and he is the one with the problem - anyone who treats someone they are supposed to love like that clearly has issues, imo. Still hurts though, I suppose all I can do is try to move on. He is trying to make himself look like the good guy which I knew he would, I knew there would be lies told about me because if he told the truth he would be laughed at for how much he constantly talked about me etc and then treats me the way he did.

I know now that I am much better off without him and am amazed how he seemed to hide his true colours for so long but it doesnt make it any easier. My friends have been telling me I was too nice to him, because I never nagged him or anything, he would always go drinking with his mates etc and I never said a word to him.

I am a friend

I've always found that the worse they treat you in the break up the easier it is to get over them