OVER SENSITIVE :-(

ennis81

I am generally a happy positive person but
I can be very over sensitive about little things at times, I can get very upset about something someone else would see as silly, I don't flip out or anything, I suppose I just feel privately upset, yet I know i'm over - reactiing in my own head
I didn't always feel so sensitive I've had a very stressful few yrs, that I feel maybe have impacted more on me than I care to admit.
I'm just looking for some advice/strategies on how to let things roll off me a bit more, I do feel it is affecting my daily life.
Thank you

cassElliot

hi there,


wow I could have written your post word for word. I grew up in a very tense environment (unhappy parents) and because of watching my parents react badly to every tiny problem it became a reinforced behaviour. the phrase "water off a ducks back" does not apply to my parents, or anyone in my immediate family for that matter.

I left home pretty young, and slowly but surely I became a more well-adjusted person.

however, like you during stressful times I revert back to over-reacting - getting angry or weepy when something goes wrong. when I find myself behaving like this I catch it in the moment, I take a deep breath and question whether the situation merits a total freak-out!

its important to think carefully about why you over-react to stressful situations. I know I do because of my childhood. But I'm also aware that if you are willing to examine faulty thought patterns, and question whether your reaction is rational then it is possible over time to readjust your reactions.

for instance - one day I was really pissed off and as I was unstacking the dishwasher water that had collected in a cup spilled all over the floor and my socks. I was about to totally freak out, but in that moment I thought - no, this is not that big of a deal.. wipe the floor, change your socks, move past it. I know that seems like a very trivial but I'm giving an example of my situation and my thought patterns. It takes effort and sometimes I still do have my moments but I'm trying to change for the sake of any kids I have in the future and my own mental health!!

also I try to curb these tendencies because I know that stress is incredibly bad for anyone's health. I'm trying to train myself into believing that some reactions are not worth raising my blood pressure over so I take some deep breaths, if the situation isn't that bad I reinforce this thought and move forward. I dont ignore the emotions or suppress them, i acknowledge them in the light that its a stress response to an undeserved stimulus. it takes time, patience but you can over come it.

lynsalot

Over sensitivity can be a lack of self confidence. Would you describe yourself as somewhat self conscious or lacking confidence? Working on your self esteem can be a big factor in changing sensitivity. It's basically putting more worth into your own esteem and opinion and less into others. Therefore their comments don't affect you as much if you see what I mean. Working on confidence comes from understanding yourself better and liking yourself.

Your sensitivity can also be valid. As in, the person who upset you could've been trying to upset you. It is completely circumstantial... Just because someone else didn't "see" it doesn't mean ur feelings aren't valid.

Either way, working on your own esteem will help you deal with these feelings. Just because someone criticises you, your work, your appearance, your intelligence doesn't make them correct. It's a reflection on them more so than you. Being confident doesn't mean being arrogant, but self assured enough to bounce 90% of these things back and not let them affect your mental health.

Btw, this is coming from someone whose been in CBT for over a year and would describe herself and on the sensitive side (Sometimes!!!)

ennis81

Thank you both for the replys, both of which made alot of sense.
My mother was definitely oversensitive when we were growing up and I obviously picked up alot from her, I do also lack self esteem, I was an ugly duckling growing up and although people tell me I am pretty or good looking or what ever word now, I never really believe it,I suppose deep inside I don't really feel good enough about myself to believe the nice things about myself, sad really
I have had counselling before for other issues and although it was great, I found it very draining and do not want to go back, how do I try and improve my self esteem by myself.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply, it is very appreciated:)