He hasn't gotten back to me yet!!

LegacyUser

Hey all. Regular poster here, but going anon for this.

Went out this week, had a brilliant few days with my friends and unintentionally met a really nice guy. Been out of the dating loop for a while and after a bad relationship, wasnt up for anything dating wise to be honest, but it had been a while and the night I was out, I ended up chatting to the nicest lad Ive talked to in a long time. it was completely different, I wasnt drinking that night, he was sober enough so it wasnt sleazy or anything, we chatted for a good 2 hours before he kissed me and after the kiss, (it was so loud in the bar) stepped outside and chatted and went to get something to eat.

it was the nicest night out I had had in a long time, he wasnt overly flattering which was great but really nice and interesting, just easy to chat to I guess and he said the same. It was a random night, his friends knew mine weirdly enough so we all my friends included went back to his house listening to music and had a drink ect. the house was great, laughing banter ect, he sat beside me all night, touching my hand ect and chatting and all. but we had to go suddenly as my friend wanted to leave and I wasnt going to stay behind alone or let her travel home alone either. it was so rushed, he had asked me to stay but to be honest, that isnt my style anyway. he didnt ask my number, now we were rushing out of the house but I guess he could have asked. he did seem very interested though and that was all night like.

the only factors were I dont live in his current city anymore, I travel there every fortnight-ish and he's going abroad for the summer. so I guess it wouldnt work, but at the same time I really clicked with him, now obviously I understand it has to work both ways, but I think it did. I've had other relationships, dates, met other guys, so I know when someone isnt into it fully. and well Id like to see him again, but maybe the distance, going abroad thing is too much for him I guess.

the thing is my friend found his friend on fb and added him, so I added him yesterday, he hasnt accepted yet. now Im not one for using facebook as a medium for talking, but I had no other contact for him. he hasnt accepted my request yet and I think he may have been online. sigh, I know it sounds childish, but I guess I hadnt liked someone for that long. So I dont know, was he turned off by the distance or just not bothered in the end. any input would be great. thanks.

daisybelle2008

OK, I am going to be blunt. You are taking this far more seriously than it was. Something may or may not come of it, if you are both on the same wavelength.

Your meeting with him is loaded with expectation. You are speculating about the distance being a factor with someone you didn't even swop numbers with.

To me you are a bit more invested in that night and an outcome than is normal or healthy. There is an air of desperation and neediness in you post, that might indicate you are really not ready to date yet and are building up and overthinking non-events. You mention not being ready to date and coming out of a bad relationship, maybe your self-esteem is still too low.

To me a diary entry for this would look like this, kissed some guy at a house party, good craic. I would not be reading anything more in it and especially not trying to second guess his feelings for one second. Move on. Others will tell you to make contact and ask him out etc. But I would only do that if I was confident enough to not care about the outcome.
Your post above would indicate to me that you contacting him again, is not a good idea.

woodchuck

I wouldn’t over think this one if I was you. He could have asked for your number, but didn’t. That alone sounds like he wasn’t looking for anything more than a one night thing.

See if he accepts your friend request. If he does, then let him contact you if he wants and see where it goes from there. Unfortunately this is the sort of situation where you could end up coming across as a ‘bunny boiler’ if you’re not careful, so just back off now and see if he wants to take it any further. If you don't hear from him though, just leave it at that.

Katgurl

Headwreck but the others are right, just forget about him unless he adds you and strikes up convo. I know it's hard when you've met someone you like after a long gap... But he could be seeing someone / interested in someone else / just not pushed / anything at all.

You were right send him request but just do your best to put him out of your head. If he's not back to you somebody else will be soon enough, you've clearly got your light on.

Miss Fluff

datingagain!! wrote: »

the only factors were I dont live in his current city anymore, I travel there every fortnight-ish and he's going abroad for the summer. so I guess it wouldnt work, but at the same time I really clicked with him, now obviously I understand it has to work both ways, but I think it did. I've had other relationships, dates, met other guys, so I know when someone isnt into it fully. and well Id like to see him again, but maybe the distance, going abroad thing is too much for him I guess.

Good God woman woooaahhhh there! :eek: You kissed some bloke and you've already had a relationship that wouldn't work in your head. That's really quite a significant jump from having a cheeky snog with someone. If he is interested he will be in touch but I would SEE WHAT HAPPENS and endeavour to adopt that approach with anyone you meet in future rather than putting this pressure on yourself and any other guys who may spark your interest in future!

LegacyUser

yikes, Im just a girl who liked a guy, wasnt looking for a marriage cert or anything. lol. I never meant relationship, I meant casual dating, Im nowhere near dating seriously yet. I just thought if he was up for it, Id definately meet up casually. I really appreciate the advice but I wasnt promoting some kind of obsessed bunny boiler stance here, I was looking to see if I was over thinking it, just general advice, people said I was, thats grand, but harsh like. as for the poster who said, contacting him again. eh no...........I friend requested him, I didnt send him a message or anything.

thanks anyway, was just looking for a bit of advice. thanks