She's a BITCH!

Notorious P.I.G

Hey I'm just wondering could anyone give me an opinion on this situation that happened to me recently. I have never thought I was in the wrong but I just want to see is there anyone out there with the same view point as the girl I fell out with so maybe I was in the wrong in some peoples eyes.

During the summer 2 friends and I decided to live together for college. Found a house and signed the lease. Day after we signed the lease one of the girls said 'oh my boyfriend has decided to commute this year so he'll be staying at ours a lot. I hope this isn't a problem'. This boy had lived at college for the last 2 years because it was so far and time consuming to commute from where he lived. Obviously we werent happy. we felt she was trying to pull a fast one moving her boyf in for free and telling us the day after we signed the lease so we were stuck with it. We told her her straight up we didnt want a fifth housemate.

Moved in and from day 1 her boyf was in the house Monday til Thurs EVERY week. Considering we were in the house Monday til friday (as we're students the majority go home at the weekend) he was basically living with us. bought a bag of clothes up every monday. The two bought food together and cooked their meals in the house everyday. She said he was her guest and shouldnt pay towards anything. Another girl living in the house ended up living there 3 days a week (she was there less than the boyfriend!) because she was so uncomfortable with the situation. This girl was paying the highest rent and paid towards all the bills, the boyfriend or his girlfriend offered ZERO for him being an extra housemate. he also took the code for our internet that 3 of us were paying for and used it without so much as asking us or saying it to anyone.

The landlord somehow found out the situation and told her to stop. each of us told her we didnt think it was fair yet she continued until the last week of college before xmas i bought it up AGAIN and said in a nice way 'hes a lovely lad but i dont think its fair'. He had gotten a semester entirely free accommodation at this point. The same lovely lad was in her room at the time and she told him what I said. He went into the kitchen and stuck his fist into my birthday cake in anger of me daring to say anything. I saw the cake the next morning and she was there and she didnt even have the balls to say it was her boyf that did it, even though she knew he did. He admitted it the next day but only because I said it to him.

During this time there was also disagreements with bills. This girl had the heating on for hours in the morning and the minute she got in from college at night. it was early to mid october. it was warm outside and people were in tee shirts. it was so uncomfortably warm in the house but she refused to stop as she 'was entitled to put on the oil as much as she liked because she paid towards it'. we ended up telling her we refused to get more oil when that ran out hoping that she'd spare it a little bit for the cold weather. what she said to this was she would fill the tank with oil herself when it ran out but she would not pay another electricity bill.

Had our xmas hols and on the day we were heading back to college we each got a txt from her saying she was moving out due to our disagreements on bills. she gave us no notice and not even a phone call to tell us (we were still 'friends). I sent a txt saying clearly we didnt agree with the same things or thought different things were appropriate. so there was a lot of txts back and forth and we fell out.

I was in the house on my own at this point as the other 2 girls werent back frm their hols and her and her boyfriend were constantly coming in (as she still had keys) and blatently ignoring me while laughing (fair enough, even though she wasn't paying rent for that month so didnt really have a right to be there). they came in while i wasn't in the house and did nasty things like open all the upstairs windows so the house would be wet and cold, one of which was in a spot on the stairs that was literally impossible to open unless someone was lifted up to open it. I had to get a sweeping brush to even close it. this was done more than once. the landlord was raging as he even witnessed all the open windows.

changed the locks, got a new housemate. whenever id see the 2 of them on the street i would say hello and they would stare at me and walk past. The way i see it if someone is childish enough to not be civil at our age then say hello and have manners to just show up how childish they are. i said hello to them in a shop when her boyfriend actually spoke to me and said very loudly so the whole shop heard. ' dont speak to us, we're not friends'. my 'friend' just stood there like a dummy. I have never met in my opinion such nasty people in my life.

Her defence for having her boyf over all the time and the bills was that she had 'anxiety problems'. Me and the other girls i lived with would never doubt or make little of mental problems but we all agree 100% that they were made up or it was only because she didnt get her own way. The 'anxiety' only arrived when we started saying to her about the bills and her boyf. And she told my housemate that they disappeared the minute she moved out into a new house. Now I could very well be wrong but I havnt heard of having mental issues because you are not getting your own way or because people disagree with you. Neither have I heard of a mental issue disappearing straight away because you move into a new house (please correct me if I am wrong because I am no expert!)

I know it is a lot to read but could anyone please tell me if I am in the wrong? Its something that I think about a lot because I cannot believe how a friend could be so nasty. Maybe I was in the wrong and made her life difficult, I dont know but I dont feel that I did. She made our lifes so horrible for a full 4 months and then turned really nasty because I told I didnt think she behaved right? I dunno, Id just like some opinions

Sir Oxman

The only thing you (and your other HM's) did wrong was letting her and the boyfriend away with it.
That was a ready-up by the two of them from the start, the day after signing the lease yer man moves in?
Forget about them - not worth the time or effort.
You'll come across plenty of users like that in life, chalk this one down to experience.

lynsalot

You've some patience girl!!! Listen don't worry about whether people think u were wrong or not. Your instincts tell you what she did wasn't right. Trust them. Don't say hello to her to be at the mercy of her or his humours.

They took advantage of you and others renting the property. Whatever her reasons, be it his fault or hers it's not acceptable. You were given no notice at all. Yer man sounds like psycho punching confectionery to get attention or revenge or whatever twisted sense it made to him... I hope he's not using his fists anywhere else.

You've been remarkably patient in this situation... I wouldn't have the same level of patience!! Time to walk away I think!!! If she wants you she knows where u are... but don't wait too long!

Big Bag of Chips

She was taking the piss.

That's all you need to know!

ABajaninCork

No. I don't think you're in the wrong at all. But it's an expensive lesson to learn. Once you realised the boy was there more or less all the time, why didn't you either put him on the lease or put him OUT?

NO partners in the house, unless their name's on the lease. Doesn't matter then when & where they are. Name on the lease - you pay your share of the rent & bills.

Did you pay a deposit? I'm assuming the answer's yes. I would withhold her share as part payment for the ruined carpet from the opened window. If she objects, then tell her to go after her bloke for the money. After all, he ate, slept and used the facilities. All for nix

As a matter of interest - When she moved out, why did you not take her keys from her? Either that or ask for rent for the days she & her bloke were in the house.

Miss Fluff

What a piece of work! You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel bad about.

knowit12

What a selfish horrible bitch 😲 how did you cope with that.

If you ask me you where too soft on her giving the sistuation. the actual cheek of her! I would if demanded rent and bill money from her.

And has for her boyfriend what s f**king bum and ass hole , I would of thrown the cake in his face !

All the mental illness is a load of balls , Iv a close friend who suffers with anxiety and believe me - your "friend" is talking bull.
If anxiety was an issue with her she should of confronted yous about it when yous moved in.
Lame and poor excuse to get out of her problems. She knows she was in the wrong.

She sounds like a kid in the playground never mind a college student.

You should be glad shes out of your life, I wouldn't bother saying hi to her, infact when you see her or the boyf smile and start laughing - cause if I was them I'd be extermely embarrased.

And remember Karma is a bitch !

Stavro Mueller

The only thing you did wrong was to put up with this for as long as you did.

Be glad that this is all over. What horrible horrible people those pair are. I'm gobsmacked at two things. The sheer brazenness of them and your willingness to put up with all of this. Take this sorry tale and learn from it. Don't ever let anyone pull a fast one on you again.

Notorious P.I.G

Thanks for the replys, I feel loads better knowing that normal people out there wouldnt behave the way she did!

And the reason it went on so long is because we were 'friends'. Every week me and the other girls would say lets see if he stays again next week. Until it just got out of hand. And other housemates had boyfriends. No one minded the other boyfriends staying the night so if everyone elses boyfriend could stay the night, Hers could. We couldnt differentiate to her that the other boyfriends were literally a guest, just sleeping there a night whereas hers was freeloading off us. was that hypocritical that we didnt mind others? No other boyfriend was taking advantage as hers, if you know what I mean?

She also has a great way of making you feel like your wrong. The day after he stuck his fist in my cake for me saying I felt him staying with us was unfair, she had me apologizing to her because she said she felt so uncomfortable that we were counting the amount of nights her boyfriend stayed and she felt she couldnt do anything without us watching.

Also I dont know if her 'anxiety' was bull**** ( I think it was) but practically everytime anything was said to her, she'd say and this just adds to my anxiety. This made us feel guilty. But also Im not sure, but if someone had something like depression or anxiety (a mental illness), do they feel the need to bring it up ALL the time or use it as an excuse? Because this is what she did.

And I couldnt take the keys off her, it was up to the landlord. she tried to get out of paying rent for the 3 weeks of January by saying she wasnt sleeping in the house but she didnt have time with exams to move her stuff out. The landlord gave her 10 days rent free before saying pay me rent or give me keys. she moved out and had her mother come up and give out to the landlord for pressuring her daughter to leave and also demanded her full deposit back.

Even reading back on that post I cant believe we let such bastards stay with us so long. Sure we've learned something anyways!!

ABajaninCork

Whoa! The mother demanded the deposit back? WHY????

From my understanding of your post, the lease is still running - right? And there's the potential question of the carpet ruined by the open window and rain coming in. If the landlord kicks off about the carpet, then I would tell him to prepare a bill showing the cost to clean/replace it, and then send it to her. Make it very plain that the damage was not caused by you.

Did she pay her share of the bills as yet? What action are you taking to ensure she pays?

I hope to God you weren't daft enough to give it back. Please say you didn't!!

With 'friends' like her, who needs 'em? If this is how the silly, immature little girl treats her friends, then God help her enemies!

pajosjunkbox

The EXACT same thing happened to my brother last year. I can't believe how similar the stories are. Anyway the girls boyfriend moved in. She claimed he was a guest so didn't have to pay anything. He used Internet , heating etc. when my bro and other housemates tried to get some money he got aggressive. After months of this and these two people taking the total piss ( the girl even stopped paying some bills) they moved out and the girl went to the college and said that the housemates were bullying her. Bro was questioned about it in college by tutors and he told the whole story. Landlord didnt want any problems and demanded my bro and housemates to make up for the girls lost rent even though they all signed the lease together. To end a long story my brother wasnt going to let them away with it so he went through small claims court. Got all money owed back and apology from her and her parents.

pajosjunkbox

Forgot to say that she also claimed anxiety problems . Did feel sorry for the girl though. Her boyfriend pretty much manipulated her. Told her not to eat bread and that she is wheat intolerant - he has no medical or nutritional background. Just pumps iron all day and then sponges off students.

ABajaninCork

pajosjunkbox wrote: »

To end a long story my brother wasnt going to let them away with it so he went through small claims court. Got all money owed back and apology from her and her parents.

This!! It's a good idea, and I would bear it in mind when you leave the property. Doesn't cost much to file either. Think it's about E15...

solovely

It sounds very much to me like your 'friend' is being controlled by her boyfriend. He sounds like an angry manipulative person. She was fine and normal and you were 'friends' before he came on the scene constantly. he was the one with the anger issues over being told that you weren't comfortable.

In your 'friend's defence (which is really hard to defend as she acted totally in the wrong), I've been in her situation twice - moving a boyfriend into a share house I was already in. When I was in college, he just started staying over most nights as I lived beside the college and I lived with all guys who he got on with. We all rented our rooms separately from the landlord, so there was no issue of sharing the rent, but he did contribute towards bills and there never seemed to be an issue, but guys tend to be a lot more easygoing about this stuff than girls. It happened again years later with another guy, and turned into the most awkward uncomfortable situation I've probably ever been in (it was only for 2 months, but a horrendous 2 months) and I learned my lesson very quickly that time.

I think a bit of respect is a given when people are being kind like that. He should have been going out of his way to show his appreciation to you - offering to pay bills, buying you gifts, thanking you whenever he could. From my experience, that's normal.

You seem to be still really wound up about this, and determined to prove you're right. While I understand how this would be an issue for you, it's going to eat you up, if you keep looking for proof and looking to feel in the right. You need to let it go. My advice to do that would be to write your friend an email. But don't come across all self righteous, like you were the wronged party. For all your know, she is being controlled by this monster. If I were you, I would explain how hurt you were by her actions (make her feel bad, not defensive!!), that you feel sad that she let her boyfriend come between your friendship, stuff like that?!

I hope you can move past this anyway and enjoy your college years...best years of your life

daisybelle2008

Notorious P.I.G wrote: »

Hey I'm just wondering could anyone give me an opinion on this situation that happened to me recently. I have never thought I was in the wrong

Ok that is cool, but what are you doing here so? If you are happy that you are not in the wrong and your thread title makes clear what you think of the girl, can I ask you why not put it in the past and get on with your life. As you say lesson learned. I am sure you are enjoying stirring up a little negative witch hunt about something that happened last year. But maybe let go and move on. It is just a ranting blog at this stage, and focusing on negative stuff that happened a long time ago is not good for your anger/stress levels. You are well out and have moved on. No need to keep the war alive in your head and on the net....
Have a happy life

Notorious P.I.G

It was only a few months, not a year and is fresh in my head because I have heard stories of her making me out to be a bitch to people I know!


But ye are right. I just sorta wanted vindication or other opinions or something as Ive only ever discussed the situation with my family and 3 close friends so obviously they would be on my side so I had a niggling thought in my head for the last 2 months that maybe I was in the wrong, even though I didnt think I was. Because I just couldnt understand how someone could act like that.

But life is short and its not something of should think of when Im now happy in college She made her choices, Karma is a bitch. I do actually feel a bit sorry for now. I think it is her boyf's nastiness rubbing off on her, although she was a bit selfish to begin with, nothing major!

Thanks guuuuys . Also I found this video that really makes me so happy to have what I have in life so maybe watch if ye get a chance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQgdxLRk6eY&feature=player_embedded