Visiting Rights

10467

I have a 7 year old daughter with my ex-partner.We split up when she was 1,mainly as a result of my drug abuse.I seen her every week no problem until I went abroad to work for a year.Since my return 2 years ago she wouldn't let me see her for 7 months until she was satisfied I was clean.I have been clean with Doctors reports to prove it,I pay 50 Euro a week,I would pay more if I was working,but I am lucky if I see her for 2 hours every 2 weeks.Any time I say anything she tells me I am lucky to see her at all as no judge will give access rights to an ex-addict.I live with my parents who feel I should go to court as they feel we are all losing out,my daughter included,she has cousins she has never met.Has anyone any experience in this area?Has anyone ever had to go to court to get visiting rights?My fear is that if I do go to court I wont see her at all while I'm waiting on the court date and make a bad situation worse.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Orion

It is possible that she may withhold access if you challenge in court. I don't think it's true that an ex-addict can't get visitation. It may be supervised until the court is satisfied that you're clean but you should get it.

How about suggesting the Mediation service first? It's free and if she agrees to it you might make progress without the court.

Congrats on fighting your addiction. Hope it all works out.

Abi

I agree with Orion, if you say you've solid doctors reports to confirm you're clean then I cannot see a judge saying you cannot spend time with your daughter.

I would take your parents advice. According to what you've told us, you've a clean bill of health and have been supporting your daughters upbringing.

You've been supporting your daughter, and there have been some without the battle you've had that still won't help out and financially support their children.

Look up your local district court office and tell them you want access. A court date will be arranged from there.

Best of luck to you.

10467

Thanks for the advice.I dont think a mediator will work as I tried to get her to come to my counselor with me before and she changed her mind at the last minute.I have indeed got medical records to prove I'm drug free.I'm tested every week.Do you know how long it takes from the time you apply to the court till the court appearance?Its that time period that I dread the most as I'm afraid she will cut off what little access I have.I'm sure it will be worth it in the long run though.

rolly1

10467 wrote: »

Thanks for the advice.I dont think a mediator will work as I tried to get her to come to my counselor with me before and she changed her mind at the last minute.I have indeed got medical records to prove I'm drug free.I'm tested every week.Do you know how long it takes from the time you apply to the court till the court appearance?Its that time period that I dread the most as I'm afraid she will cut off what little access I have.I'm sure it will be worth it in the long run though.

Hi you can make an application for access through the district court where you live, or if the mother and child live in a different district court area, then through that one. If there is a choice of two ring the court office of both and ask then how long waiting lists currently are. The districts and sitting days are listed in this link

In courts where there is no waiting list an application can potentially be heard in under 3 weeks.

If you have any written communications to show that you requested the mother to attend the counselor with you, that would also be useful for the court. Either way it is worth making it known to the court that you have tried to resolve this outside of the court but she has refused to cooperate.

Make sure you have evidence of child payments either through a bank statement or lodgment slips to her bank account. Paying in cash can be denied later in court.

Also if you are named on the child's birth cert show this as eveidence of your involvment with your daughter from the start.

If you are not a gaurdian of your daughter you should also apply to be one, if the mother refuses to sign the consent form. This gives you greater legal standing in court and also provides a legal platform to have an input into major welfare decisions for your daughter going forward including where she lives, choice of school, medical welfare, religion.

Good luck

James Jones

10467 wrote: »

I live with my parents who feel I should go to court as they feel we are all losing out,my daughter included,she has cousins she has never met.

You decide for yourself, mate, and let your folks do likewise. They can apply for their own access under Section 11 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1964, as amended by the Children Act 1997.

But be aware that Court applications may result in you not seeing your daughter. Even if the Judge agrees that your previous problems are irrelevant, court orders are not enforced and so if Mum doesn't want you to see your daughter, you won't see your daughter.

The_fever

James Jones wrote: »

10467 wrote: »

I live with my parents who feel I should go to court as they feel we are all losing out,my daughter included,she has cousins she has never met.

You decide for yourself, mate, and let your folks do likewise. They can apply for their own access under Section 11 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1964, as amended by the Children Act 1997.

But be aware that Court applications may result in you not seeing your daughter. Even if the Judge agrees that your previous problems are irrelevant, court orders are not enforced and so if Mum doesn't want you to see your daughter, you won't see your daughter.

What utter nonsense , of course court orders are enforced

MariMel

The_fever wrote: »

What utter nonsense , of course court orders are enforced

I beg to differ....a family friend has been to court 8 times in 2 yrs regarding access to his children and everytime the mother is told to abide by the order, promises to do so, then lets the father see his kids for a week or two, then stopped and refuses to let him see them. Forward another couple of months and in court yet again she promises this time she will abide by the court order and on it goes, round and round in circles!!!!!

Mothers who use their children as pawns are in my eyes no better than absent fathers with little or no interest in their children.

OP glad to hear you are dedicated to looking after your health and wellbeing and looking to be a responsible and contributing part of your childs life.
I do understand that there would be a level of mistrust with regards to your past illness, BUT since you are tested regularly and with each passing negative result you are leaving your past well and truly behind you.

When you get your court date make sure you have as much evidence of your rehabilitation with you and also proof of your maintenance payments.

Get as good a solicitor as you can too.....my brother had one who was useless, got another and she got him 6 months probationary guardianship as the mother of his child was against it. After the 6 months since there was no issues, he got guardianship.

Best of luck and continued good health.

James Jones

The_fever wrote: »

James Jones wrote: »

10467 wrote: »

I live with my parents who feel I should go to court as they feel we are all losing out,my daughter included,she has cousins she has never met.

You decide for yourself, mate, and let your folks do likewise. They can apply for their own access under Section 11 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1964, as amended by the Children Act 1997.

But be aware that Court applications may result in you not seeing your daughter. Even if the Judge agrees that your previous problems are irrelevant, court orders are not enforced and so if Mum doesn't want you to see your daughter, you won't see your daughter.

What utter nonsense , of course court orders are enforced

Do I have to source references for you or will you accept what MariMel has told you?