The True Story Of April’s Fools Day: A Tale of Revenge.

Adolescenteen

April Fools Day. The day where everybody brings out their inner comedian and plays practical jokes on each other. Alas, most pranks in real life are very unimaginative and stupid, but it still can be a fun day. Be warned, however, did you know the real story behind today is about a prankster that went too far? Oh yes, it’s a crazy story so read on before you even thinking of throwing a pie in someone’s face.

Many years ago in the little town of Clantarmal, Country Kerry there was a boy named April Fool. April Fool loved to pull pranks on his neighbors and wreak havoc in the town. He would replace chicken’s eggs with easter eggs, replace horse’s shoes with people shoes and pee in the town’s well. He was wicked. And the town’s people loathed him for it, he would make their lives absolute hell. Sure, at the start they didn’t mind the odd prank, it made life less dull. But as the pranks became more frequent and more destructive the people began to grow agitated. Cries from ‘oh that whipper snapper April Fool’ became ‘Damn you April Fool! Damn you!’.

If he lived in these times, April Foot would most certainly still be a controversial figure. But, he’d probably have his own TV show and a huge fan base. He’d be loaded and that would mean a big house, nice cars, tons of friends and woman throwing themselves at him. Unfortunately for April Fool he was living in the wrong era. An era where intelligence was perceived as witchcraft, agriculture was the be all and end all of industry and the potato was the dish of choice. A dish that one day Fool decided to mess with, a decision which would cost him greatly.

Preparations were made for the annual ‘best potato’ competition. This was the pride and joy of the town, travelers all the way from down the road would travel to witness the event. The people of Clantarmal would do their best to put on a great show in order to keep people traveling to the event and pump money into the little town. For years the event had come and passed without a single glitch, people would bring out their best looking potato before a panel of judges and the best potato would be eaten by the mayor of the town. This was the greatest honor imaginable for farmers years ago. This particular year’s event looked set to be another great success, that is, until Mr. April decided to act the fool.

The night before the event, the chosen potatoes were being stored in a cabin by the city hall. Fool broke into the cabin and started drawing designs on the potatoes. He gave them smiley faces, carved scars and wrote swear words on some of the potatoes. However, that wasn’t the worst part. He had designed all this with a special substance, his own poo.

Fool had volunteered to organize the setting up of the potatoes and it wasn’t until the judges arrived that people realized what had happened. The judges vomited in disgust, the pungent smell of excrement filled the town’s nostrils and everyone was in disgust. Fires were set, people were killed and the town’s reputations was in tatters. It would be several years before an outside villager ever set foot in Clantarmal. And their was only one man to blame, April Fool.

The city council held a meeting and it was agreed action had to be taken, Fool had gone too far. So they schemed up a brilliant plan for revenge. Three years later, on the 1st of April, the town set up the ‘best potato’ competition again looking for sweet justice. In the previous year’s election the city had unanimously agreed to elect April Fool as mayor. In true prankster style, April had gone up to do his speech completely naked, but the town’s people didn’t mind.

It was also unanimous from the judges which potato won, and the potato was served up on a plate to the mayor. What the mayor didn’t know, however, was that this potato was filled with excrement. The mayor licked his lips and he mentally prepared to devour the gorgeous looking potato. He didn’t waste time getting stuck in and ripped the thing apart and gulped it down in five seconds. He didn’t even notice the brown substance all over his hands and face. The town erupted with laughter to April’s puzzlement. Just then he noticed what he had done and was shocked. But, after finally tasting his own medicine he raised his hands up and said: “That was a good one, I had it coming. Well done”.

People went up to him and laughs were shared until the mayor began to cough. He struggled to stand up as his face went blue and his neck and cheeks swelled three times in size. “Wha…wha…what else was in tha…that potato?” he chocked out. People’s eyes bulged and someone said: “Just ****? What’s wrong?”. The mayor collapsed to the floor and looked at his hands, then he saw it, in the poo there had been nuts, April Fool was allergic to nuts. Fool’s breathing weakened and he just managed to say “Ye have just killed me, ye bastards!” before his last breath flew out of his body and his eyes shut forever.

The town’s people were in disbelief around the body. No one said anything for a couple of minutes before someone in the back shouted: “Woohoo he’s dead! April Fool is finally dead”. The people all burst into laughter and danced into the night. People pissed on Fool’s dead body before he was hoisted above a fire and cooked. The crown feasted into Fool’s body for a whole week, every bite nicer than the one before. The prankster might have been a nuisance to them, but he sure tasted delicious. They finally got their revenge, and contrary to the saying, revenge was dish best served hot, smoking hot to be exact.

The town ditched the annual potato competition for April Fools day, where they pulled pranks on each other in memory to the idiot. As the famine gripped Ireland and people emigrated to many countries, the day began to be celebrated globally.

So remember children, pull your pranks at your own expense, because you too could end up like poor old April Fool.

Disclaimer: Names, areas and events have been fabricated for entertainment purposes. Please don't hurt me.

Happy April Fools Day!

supp

haha I enjoyed this. Nice writing.

Adolescenteen

supp wrote: »

haha I enjoyed this. Nice writing.

Thanks and I'm glad you did!