Am I Over Reacting?

The Movers

Hi everyone,

I dropped my 5 yr old off to drama school yesterday,

When I picked him up his trousers were wet where had peed in them!
He never does this ,ever!!

So when i asked him what happened,he explained he asked the teacher at the drama class if he could go to the bathroom,
She refused to let him go ,so he had to pee .

I brought him back to her immediately to see if this was what happened ,as I wasn't sure whether to believe him.

She explained to me that he didn't ask ,she denied this until my son said it ,in front of her ,that he did ask her to go to the bathroom.

So she them admitted it ,She explained that she has to mind so many kids that she doesn't have time to look after them all like this,she was not really apologetic ,just giving excuses why she didn't have time to run him to the bathroom.
My son spent the rest of the class trying to hide the wet with his coat wrapped around himself.
I am thinking to call the owner of the biz and to ask her if this lady has any other experience with kids?
Im just really shocked with this,
Would I be over reacting by calling the business owner,or would it make any difference?
Thanks for any advice.

Zambia

Before you do anything, what do you want as the end result here.

I personally would be very disappointed might just pull him from the school.

How Strange

I'd be very angry. She's teaching a group of small children so it's not unusual to expect a few will need to go to the toilet. Its up to them to have manageable class sizes. I'd be even angrier that she lied to your face. I know your son is only 5 but even so it must've been humiliating for him to have to pee in his trousers. I think I'd ring the owner of the school as her behaviour really is unacceptable and consider taking your son out. However it's something you have to discuss with him because perhaps he still enjoys the class regardless of what happened.

implausible

How many children are in the class OP? If she has no many, that she can't manage to let any of them go to the toilet, she should have another person there.

Ring the owner OP.

bryaner

Personally I'd go feckin bananas!!

xzanti

I would be furious..

She left him to soil himself in front of his piers and then tried to make a liar out of him.. The poor child

I would give her/them both barrels to be perfectly honest.

Not acceptable.

Hannibal Smith

bryaner wrote: »

Personally I'd go feckin bananas!!

^^^ me too. I would absolutely let rip at her, for firstly not allowing your son to go to the toilet and secondly lying to your face. This is exactly the kind of thing I hate about adults, trying to make kids out to be liars, when they're telling the truth.

cbyrd

I'm sure the same regulations apply to this type of class as any other and an adult would only be allowed to be in charge of 10 kids of this age group and any more would need a second person.. I would rip her a new one and i would lodge a complaint in writing to the owner.

At 5 years old i'm sure your son doesn't need you to take him to the loo and i assume he's in school and is able to go there by himself too.. why would this person need to take him to the toilet? surely he just needed permission to leave the room? If she can't cope then she's in the wrong job

http://nospank.net/frbw.htm

I would not let this go . .

reeta

Please do not let this go !! Something like that could have an awful effect on a child. The fact she lied to you is bad enough, she obviously does not have enough resources to teach a child. Ring the business owner immediately....

Lola92

Definitely contact the management of the drama school. I would demand that that woman be removed from her position.

How the hell can a person work with young children, refuse to allow them to use the bathroom (a 5 year old can't really hold it that long!), make the child wet themselves, hide it from you, make the child out to be a liar and then not even apologise when you finally get the truth out of them!!!

Take it to the top of the organisation and don't let it go OP. I would be informing other parents at the class too, they should know what type of person is in charge of their children.

lolli

Personally, I would not let my child back to that class because she made your child out to be a liar and humiliated him. Would you really want you child in a class with a person like that? What is something serious were to happen, how could you trust her to tell you the truth?

I would contact management and insist that this matter is looked into further. It is absolutely crazy that a supposed professional woman would treat a child like that.

Owryan

To my mind the lying is much worse, what else could she lie about. As a father of 3 young kids, something like that would be enough to go to the school board about her

xzanti

Owryan wrote: »

To my mind the lying is much worse, what else could she lie about. As a father of 3 young kids, something like that would be enough to go to the school board about her

Yes, she should have opened with a complete admission of her short fallings and an apology.. this looks 1000 times worse for her now having tried to cover her arse..

The Movers

Hi,
Thanks for all the replys,
Really appreciated ,
Is there any organization I could call,to have them check their standards and to have this lady removed from teaching this class for a while.

I googled school board but nothing showed,

Would the ispcc be able to do anything or do they just deal with more serious things.

Many thanks again.

xzanti

Edit: You might find some useful info here

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=where%20to%20make%20a%20complaint%20about%20a%20teacher&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CDQQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.asti.ie%2Foperation-of-schools%2Fmanagement-of-schools%2Fcomplaints-against-teachers-in-community-and-comprehensive-schools%2F&ei=BWZ3T46BCY-JhQfbn6nFDQ&usg=AFQjCNHW4xkUtWehMihKiffLY5Yq2eIiUA

edellc

OP I agree with everyone who has posted above

I would be furious at her, your poor little boy it broke my heart reading it

I would certainly ring the owner, speak to your son and see if he still wants to go to the classes or try find other classes in your area but if it where me i would want to pull my son from the class it is clear she dealing with more than she can handle and if she cant even bring a child to the bathroom then extra help is needed...we all know how much classes for kids cost so are they putting profit over the well being of the children it seems that way

how dare she try make a lair out of him and how dare she let him soil himself and the poor little mite so embarrassed that he tries to hid it with his coat the poor little thing I want to give her a piece of my mind for you

implausible

OP, I'd go through the correct channels if I were you. You've already spoken to the teacher. Next, you should contact the owner of the school. A drama school should be accredited to one of the examining bodies like http://irishboard.ie/. They surely have rules and regulations that drama schools should abide by.

PammyD

xzanti wrote: »

I would be furious..

She left him to soil himself in front of his piers and then tried to make a liar out of him.. The poor child

I would give her/them both barrels to be perfectly honest.

Not acceptable.

TOTALLY agree.....!!

The Movers

I called the owner this morning,I first spoke to a staff member and explained to her what I was calling about.
The owner returned my call later,she was well prepared..
She explained to me that My son asked the teacher when they were queuing up to leave and he wet himself when he was with his mother.
Which was untrue as he was covering his trousers with his jacket as he left the room.She assured me that the teacher done nothin wrong and she is very good with kids.
I was fairly raging at this stage,I explained how the teacher lied ,she had nothing to say about this,except thats awful ohhh etc....
I ended up hanging up as I felt like I was talking to a wall.
My son really likes the class and I don't want to remove him from the class.

xzanti

Absolutely disgraceful :mad:

The Movers

I just asked my son to make sure,he says he was dancing when he asked her to go,NOT in the que,

He would have no reason to lie,I definitely believe him.

Its very annoying now.

Snappy the Moose

The Movers wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I dropped my 5 yr old off to drama school yesterday,

When I picked him up his trousers were wet where had peed in them!
He never does this ,ever!!

So when i asked him what happened,he explained he asked the teacher at the drama class if he could go to the bathroom,
She refused to let him go ,so he had to pee .

I brought him back to her immediately to see if this was what happened ,as I wasn't sure whether to believe him.

She explained to me that he didn't ask ,she denied this until my son said it ,in front of her ,that he did ask her to go to the bathroom.

So she them admitted it ,She explained that she has to mind so many kids that she doesn't have time to look after them all like this,she was not really apologetic ,just giving excuses why she didn't have time to run him to the bathroom.
My son spent the rest of the class trying to hide the wet with his coat wrapped around himself.
I am thinking to call the owner of the biz and to ask her if this lady has any other experience with kids?
Im just really shocked with this,
Would I be over reacting by calling the business owner,or would it make any difference?
Thanks for any advice.

What a hideous bitch!

Totally inexcusable behaviour, report her to the high heavens. I genuinely wouldn't have been able to restrain myself if it was my own child.

(Edit) Just seen you queried it. Do not give up the fight with this, they want you to simply cave in and get on with it. Make an unmerciful fuss and see if there is any higher power you could take this issue up with.

Hannibal Smith

The Movers wrote: »

I just asked my son to make sure,he says he was dancing when he asked her to go,NOT in the que,

He would have no reason to lie,I definitely believe him.

Its very annoying now.

Omg! Are you serious? Grrrr I'd be livid if I was you, they're STILL trying to blame your son :mad: Ring her back, tell her you want a meeting with the teacher, the owner and the mother. The teacher is obviously still lying to cover her tracks and has now lied to the owner.

Like Snappy the Moose said, don't let it go!

edellc

still so annoyed for you and now the fact that the owner is also implying that your son is a liar is beyond words

is there any other classes that you could send him to, as i said before all theses classes cost money and it seems like profit is being put before the welfare of the child

if the teacher where even to hold her hands up and say she messed up then i am sure that it could be forgiven but the fact that she didnt do that and is trying to cover here ass by calling your son a liar is just so wrong and I personally would not want to contribute in anyway to her wages

Rachelinksts

I have only worked with children in schools for the past 2 years i can tell you now that this situation is totally not acceptable. This incident should NEVER have happened, and the teachers actions were extremely unprofessional. Your child is now at an age where he will remember this incident and it could lead to anxiety and nervousness of this happening again. It would not be unheard of for him to start bed wetting or become unwilling to attend school after a traumatic even like this. I would strongly urge you to take this up with the school board or Dep of Ed. Write them a formal letter explaining what exactly happened and that your child has not been brought up to tell lies. There are far too many people involved with children who cannot cope with their jobs and are in the completely wrong profession.

The fact that this woman stood there and told you lies is enough to show them that she is not trustworthy. There are literally hundreds of fabulous teachers who cannot get a job in this country and they should be in schools instead of someone who doesn't care what she is doing as long as she gets her paypacket at the end of the month. Please please report this and don't stop until someone listens. It's just not acceptable in this day and age.

Best wishes x

The Movers

Thanks for all the support,
Im not going to let this go at all,
I plan to speak with the two ladys friday week when Drama school reumes.
Thanks again everyone:):)
I will keep you posted.

LorraineMcFly

You are not over reacting at all. Im fuming reading this.
Absolutely ring the business owner. This woman embarrassed your son to an extreme that he peed on himself because she wouldnt let him use a toilet. He may always have this memory now over this woman. I would want her job gone personally if it were me. She also lied to you initially.
Ring the school or ispcc, and if she is not fired do not send him there again. And tell the other parents too.
And the owner should be fired too.

Speechie

Appalling!
I am a speech and drama teacher-she either is totally incompetent or has too many children in her class. Ask to see her insurance; within most insurance clauses it states that you cannot have more than ten children within a class without having a second adult within the room. If she hasn't time to bring a child to the toilet she must have been under-staffed. Legally she should have had a second person with her.
I hope your son is okay. I'd let him know that she was a silly lady and that he did nothing wrong. Poor chap-hope it works out well in the end.

tinkerbell79

xzanti wrote: »

I would be furious..

She left him to soil himself in front of his piers and then tried to make a liar out of him.. The poor child

I would give her/them both barrels to be perfectly honest.

Not acceptable.

I agree with xzanti, also owner may not realize what is happening and it needs to be brought to her attention!! I would approach owner with concern rather than anger as i said she may not even know wats going on and see wat her reaction is!!! I wouldnt take him out though unless he didnt want to go anymore... maybe see if he can go to another class with different teacher.