Upset at Being Uninvited from Friend's Wedding

LegacyUser

I've received an email uninviting me from my friend's wedding in two months' time, and am feeling pretty hurt and kind of smacked in the face.

Its due to a fall out with other guests. A pretty mild fall out it has to be said, not a physical fight or something. It revolved around someone putting a comment on my Facebook page which was kind of rude about people in the town I now live in (and where the wedding is and people involved live). It was a stupid jokey kind of comment about them all being murderers there and being known for being rude, because someone in the news was convicted of a murder that day.

When I saw the comment a few hours later, I deleted it as I thought it was a bit offensive. Next thing I know, I am getting messages on pm through FB while I am work asking me what the comment referred to and making more comments about it on my profile (which I also deleted, as I didn't want any references to stuff like murder on my profile anyway). One girl in particular went on and on, sending me pms about it, despite me asking her to stop as I was at work, and simply to stop commenting. So, bearing in mind I was at work, I wasn't particularly friendly with her, just through friends of friends, I deleted her as friend on FB, problem solved, and got on with my work.

That evening, I got another pm on bloody FB from another friend invited to the wedding, saying she had read my comments, taken offence at them, and was deleting and blocking me on Facebook. I don't have her tel no so I had no way of explaining, although from my replies to the pms to Ms Stirrer above, you could read that I repeatedly stated that I had meant no offence and had deleted the comment. I go off on holiday for 2 weeks, have a lovely time with other friends, and by the time I get back, am so chilled and relaxed, I just go about my business. Cue a week later me getting an email from an unknown third party uninviting me from friend's wedding "because I have fallen out with both Ms Stirrer and Ms Offended and she can't risk people not getting on and doesn't want any hassle".

Any thoughts? I had replied by card that me and my husband were coming, and my inclination now is simply to send a card for the wedding itself out of manners, but I don't see how any of these friendships can ever be saved after this. I just feel a bit sad really. These are all adults in their late twenties/early thirties. I have to admit to not being a groveller and I can't really be bothered going around after people begging for their friendship (and to be perfectly truthful, I do find people in this part of the country can be a bit rude (I'm in the UK)), but I must admit to being a bit upset at being uninvited from the whole wedding, and not just the hen night, for example.

Big Bag of Chips

An unknown 3rd party uninvited you from your friend's wedding.... and you now think you are uninvited?


Until the person who invited you UNinvites you, then the invitation stands.

Don't bother getting involved in anyone else's drama...

Edit: If it was MY wedding, I wouldn't be too impressed with someone else inviting/uninviting guests!

LegacyUser

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

An unknown 3rd party uninvited you from your friend's wedding.... and you now think you are uninvited?


Until the person who invited you UNinvites you, then the invitation stands.

Don't bother getting involved in anyone else's drama...

Edit: If it was MY wedding, I wouldn't be too impressed with someone else inviting/uninviting guests!

Sorry, I've given the wrong impression. The email uninviting me was sent on behalf of the bride-to-be, and stated so. I have no reason to think it wasn't the bride's intention whatsoever. I have definately, and quite clearly and deliberately, been uninvited by the bride.

woodchuck

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

Sorry, I've given the wrong impression. The email uninviting me was sent on behalf of the bride-to-be, and stated so. I have no reason to think it wasn't the bride's intention whatsoever. I have definately, and quite clearly and deliberately, been uninvited by the bride.

Have you spoken to the bride directly though? I'd get in touch if I was you to try and clear things up. Just explain that it was a 'frape' and apologise for not handling the aftermath very well (trying to get rid of the person because you were in work and deleting them as a friend wouldn't come off very good).

tinkerbell

I'm confused, did someone write it on your page as a frape so that it looked like you made the comment or did someone just write on your wall?

The only person uninviting you is the bride or groom. This third party stuff is rubbish tbh, you should be paying no attention to that. By the way, if it was the bride who uninvited you, I wouldn't even send a card. Stuff that. The friendship is over.

sambuka41

I'd arrange to go an see the bride and explain what happened, it doesn't have to be grovelling its just calming a situation that's gotten out of hand. If she is a friend she should at least hear you out. To be honest they sound like a bunch of kids, its facebook for gods sake. :rolleyes:

If the bride won't meet with you about it then I would agree with tinkerbell, the friendship is over. Silly reason to end a friendship but there you go, at least you'll have tried to deal with it like an adult.

Big Bag of Chips

If the email came from the bride through a third party, who you don't even know, I'd be inclined to cut contact with the lot of them. They are not deserving of your time...

But I would have to speak directly to the bride first, just to be sure. Regardless of how awkward it would be.

going un-reg

This actually made me laugh, not at you OP, but the situation.

First of all, how much of a friend is this person to you? no offence, but she musn't be much of a friend if she's willing to uninvite you (who does that?) to their wedding.

Firstly, any real friend wouldn't uninvite you over a bloody Facebook comment.

Secondly, uninviting someone is just a LOW thing to do, what was done wasn't a severe thing, definantly not worth uninviting someone over.

I'd actually be pissed off at this. If I were you, I'd call her and just confirm that she was being serious.

Facebook has turned into such an trivially petty drama machine.

LegacyUser

tinkerbell wrote: »

I'm confused, did someone write it on your page as a frape so that it looked like you made the comment or did someone just write on your wall?

The only person uninviting you is the bride or groom. This third party stuff is rubbish tbh, you should be paying no attention to that. By the way, if it was the bride who uninvited you, I wouldn't even send a card. Stuff that. The friendship is over.

No, it wasn't a frape, it was simply a comment (response) left on a status update by me, which was about an "interesting" shopping experience in the town, where the staff in the shop had been very rude. But obviously they think the rude comment was left because those are my feelings. Although to be honest, they kind of are. At least they are now! I do find people in this town rude, as do other people (without giving too much away, it is kind of known for it because of the industry it supports). But not my friends, or at least people I thought were my friends. It was all kind of light hearted, except the comment I deleted, I thought that was offensive, hence delete it as soon as I see it, problem sorted.

The bride has definately uninvited me. I feel really embarrassed and am not going to risk further embarrassment querying it. The uninvite came via email through a friend of hers that I have heard of but don't personally know, along the lines of "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but unfortunately due to the fall out with x and y, (the bride) feels it will be too awkward for you to attend her Hen Night & Wedding. Both x and y are good friends of (the bride's) and she wants everyoneto have a good time and for there to be no hassle. Let me know if you get this".

I pretty much get the impression that the bride is too busy and doesn't want any hassles in the run up to her wedding, and that she has made up her mind. I doubt that talking to her will make any difference, and I honestly don't think she will reply, she is in complete wedding planning lockdown mode. Anyway, of the ones I have offended, they are all part of quite a close knit group and I've always been an outsider, although I've known the bride for about 6 years. Ms Stirrer is quite new on the scene and I felt she took an instant dislike to me, has never been particularly friendly and is glorying in this. Without meaning to personalise it too much, she is the sort of person who only gets things through crawling to other people, rather than through talent or hard work. She makes me uncomfortable.

The more I get over the shock of being uninvited from the wedding, the more I feel hard towards the whole lot of them. I will be civil to them and send the bride a card but I've got plenty of friends who are nice to me without having to put up with this. I'm just embarrassed that now I will be known as the girl who fell out with so many people that she got uninvited from a wedding.

I even saw some of them out in the park at the weekend (not the bride) and said a civil "Good morning" to them while walking past, and was completely blanked. It was pretty embarrassing as there were a lot of people around. I hardly post on FB any more, since I feel everything I do post is scrutinised by that group as they live their lives on it, posting updates about 6 times a day. Its a shame, because I liked to keep in touch with friends and family elsewhere on it.

Meauldsegosha

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

No, it wasn't a frape, it was simply a comment (response) left on a status update by me, which was about an "interesting" shopping experience in the town, where the staff in the shop had been very rude. But obviously they think the rude comment was left because those are my feelings. Although to be honest, they kind of are. At least they are now! I do find people in this town rude, as do other people (without giving too much away, it is kind of known for it because of the industry it supports). But not my friends, or at least people I thought were my friends. It was all kind of light hearted, except the comment I deleted, I thought that was offensive, hence delete it as soon as I see it, problem sorted.

The bride has definately uninvited me. I feel really embarrassed and am not going to risk further embarrassment querying it. The uninvite came via email through a friend of hers that I have heard of but don't personally know, along the lines of "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but unfortunately due to the fall out with x and y, (the bride) feels it will be too awkward for you to attend her Hen Night & Wedding. Both x and y are good friends of (the bride's) and she wants everyoneto have a good time and for there to be no hassle. Let me know if you get this".

I pretty much get the impression that the bride is too busy and doesn't want any hassles in the run up to her wedding, and that she has made up her mind. I doubt that talking to her will make any difference, and I honestly don't think she will reply, she is in complete wedding planning lockdown mode. Anyway, of the ones I have offended, they are all part of quite a close knit group and I've always been an outsider, although I've known the bride for about 6 years. Ms Stirrer is quite new on the scene and I felt she took an instant dislike to me, has never been particularly friendly and is glorying in this. Without meaning to personalise it too much, she is the sort of person who only gets things through crawling to other people, rather than through talent or hard work. She makes me uncomfortable.

The more I get over the shock of being uninvited from the wedding, the more I feel hard towards the whole lot of them. I will be civil to them and send the bride a card but I've got plenty of friends who are nice to me without having to put up with this. I'm just embarrassed that now I will be known as the girl who fell out with so many people that she got uninvited from a wedding.

I even saw some of them out in the park at the weekend (not the bride) and said a civil "Good morning" to them while walking past, and was completely blanked. It was pretty embarrassing as there were a lot of people around. I hardly post on FB any more, since I feel everything I do post is scrutinised by that group as they live their lives on it, posting updates about 6 times a day. Its a shame, because I liked to keep in touch with friends and family elsewhere on it.

The bride couldn't take 10 mins out of her day to email you, that's ridiculous. To be honest these people sound like major drama queens, you're better off without them. You have other friends who are nice so forget the other lot.

Little Miss Lady

This is madness.
Op is that the full reason that these people are not talking to you and that you've been uninvited for?
If so, I would just ignore the whole shower of them.
As for sending the bride a card. Why on earth would you be ars*d after the way this has all been handled.
Forget about it all and move on with your other friends.

LegacyUser

Little Miss Lady wrote: »

This is madness.
Op is that the full reason that these people are not talking to you and that you've been uninvited for?

I think its probably a case of them finding out I'm not the sort of person they thought I was (or something) and regretting being so friendly with me before.

Little Miss Lady wrote: »

Forget about it all and move on with your other friends.

Kind of how I felt when I got back from holiday. I just sort of acted as if nothing had happened, when obviously to get back in with them, I would have had to have grovelled and apologised for something I didn't even do.

I think its a case with those people of making a big deal out of being very chummy with each other and if you fall out with one, they make a big deal of taking sides. The bride to be will have had the two that have taken offence needling her to drop me, and there are two of them and only one of me, so clearly I had to go!

I am actually going to send her a card, with a simple message of congratulations. I'm going to derive a tiny bit of pleasure out of taking the higher ground!

Thanks for the replies. You've made me feel a bit better, and confirmed my opinion that good friends are generally nice to you!

minidazzler

OP, you are an adult, have a conversation with the bride like one. You really don't know you have been uninvited just someone you don't know has claimed you are, someone whose motives you don't know!

Phone the bride, ask her the story and if she says you're uninvited then simply cut her out of your life and don't look back, she seriously is not worth it if it all went down as you say it did.

Daisy M

I believe in behaving with dignity so I can understand you wanting to put a face on things by remaining civilised, but to even consider sending a card to someone who hadnt the decency to contact you in person, is madness. Imho to send a card would give the message to all and sundry that you are a walkover. Personally I would not reply to the email, its pathetic and the friend who sent it on behalf of the bride is a fool who is been used.

rainbowtrout

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

I hardly post on FB any more, since I feel everything I do post is scrutinised by that group as they live their lives on it, posting updates about 6 times a day. Its a shame, because I liked to keep in touch with friends and family elsewhere on it.

Can't you just delete them from your FB? I don't understand why people don't delete people that don't talk to them, then you won't see any of their conversations.

They don't sound like friends anyway with the way they carry on.

QuiteInterestin

Hi OP, I really think you need to contact the bride and explain your side of the story. You have seen how things posted on the internet can get twisted , how do you know this email is any different? It may not be from the bride at all and she may have no knowledge/involvement in the 'uninviting'. Either that, or she is basing your 'uninviting' on these other girls stories only.

Either way, you've been friends for 6 years, you should at least make contact with her and establish if the email was for real. If it was, and she's happy to disregard 6 years of friendship and uninvite you to her wedding over some petty facebook comments, then she's not worth worrying over but you do need to find out for sure and set the record straight. If it wasn't real (and the 2 facebook girls were behind it) it will just look like you didn't bother to turn up at her wedding and didn't even let her know, and you'll definitely look like the one at fault.

Janedoe10

It's like been back in the playground in primary school. U shouldnot feel embarrassed .. It's so childish but some people never grow up .. I concur with others here been "uninvited" on email is silly . Bride regardless has no spine if some one else has to do it , however u cannot rely on 3rd party information from no one ,
I would still ring her when u have a chance . She may be hearing" stories" from others that are blown out of proportion .. At least u know then and save your self time been wasted on been polite at a wedding day .
Perhaps wait till after conversation before u "unfriend" the others inFB . Judging how narrow minded they are , u doing this would be the biggest drama of their day .

The Big Red Button

QuiteInterestin wrote: »

Hi OP, I really think you need to contact the bride and explain your side of the story. You have seen how things posted on the internet can get twisted , how do you know this email is any different? It may not be from the bride at all and she may have no knowledge/involvement in the 'uninviting'. Either that, or she is basing your 'uninviting' on these other girls stories only.

Either way, you've been friends for 6 years, you should at least make contact with her and establish if the email was for real. If it was, and she's happy to disregard 6 years of friendship and uninvite you to her wedding over some petty facebook comments, then she's not worth worrying over but you do need to find out for sure and set the record straight. If it wasn't real (and the 2 facebook girls were behind it) it will just look like you didn't bother to turn up at her wedding and didn't even let her know, and you'll definitely look like the one at fault.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I think you mentioned earlier that you had already replied saying that yourself and your husband would be attending the wedding?

You said that this "third party" who uninvited you asked you to let her know if you got the message. It's nearly like she's discouraging you from contacting the bride. The bride mightn't know anything about the whole thing! But if you're a no-show at the wedding, without any contact in advance, she'll understandably be annoyed with you.

I'd say just pick up the phone, or send an e-mail, explaining the situation. Keep calm about it all, if the bride confirms that she's uninviting you, you should stay calm and polite, no point in getting in an argument - she's not worth it, if she treats you like that. Wish her the best, hang up the phone, and don't contact her again. You're better off without someone like that in your life.

LegacyUser

Just read through this thread, OP you are better off without these people, honestly what age is the bride and groom ? I felt like I was reading something from a teenagers diary. How petty and sad these people are to live their lives on facebook. If this is the level of maturity among that group then you should count yourself lucky you are not going to the wedding.

LittleBook

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

It was a stupid jokey kind of comment about them all being murderers there and being known for being rude, because someone in the news was convicted of a murder that day.

I deleted it as I thought it was a bit offensive ... I didn't want any references to stuff like murder on my profile anyway). One girl in particular went on and on, sending me pms about it, despite me asking her to stop as I was at work, and simply to stop commenting. So, bearing in mind I was at work, I wasn't particularly friendly with her, just through friends of friends, I deleted her as friend on FB, problem solved, and got on with my work.

That evening, I got another pm on bloody FB from another friend invited to the wedding, saying she had read my comments, taken offence at them, and was deleting and blocking me on Facebook.

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

The email uninviting me was sent on behalf of the bride-to-be, and stated so ... I have definately, and quite clearly and deliberately, been uninvited by the bride.

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

The uninvite came via email through a friend of hers that I have heard of but don't personally know

I even saw some of them out in the park at the weekend (not the bride) and said a civil "Good morning" to them while walking past, and was completely blanked. It was pretty embarrassing as there were a lot of people around.

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

I think its a case with those people of making a big deal out of being very chummy with each other and if you fall out with one, they make a big deal of taking sides.

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

These are all adults in their late twenties/early thirties.

:pac: Are you sure?! What a bunch of coconuts.

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

I hardly post on FB any more, since I feel everything I do post is scrutinised by that group as they live their lives on it, posting updates about 6 times a day. Its a shame, because I liked to keep in touch with friends and family elsewhere on it.

I wouldn't send a card to the bride-to-be but I'd certainly give her a call (purely for my own closure) and just ask "is this for real?" and if she says yes, say "OK fine, enjoy the wedding" and hang up ... job done.

And do not stop using Facebook because of these people. I know how handy it is to keep contact with friends and family in far-flung places so do not let these women take that away from you. Delete/block their @sses and reserve this for your friends ... your real friends!

Daisy M

I just remembered this, when hubby and I got married his teenage neice and a second cousin had an argument, their mothers got involved and hubbys sister told his aunt she wasnt welcome to our wedding:eek: We knew nothing about this until after. Also another aunt didnt receive her invite and even though lots of family told her she was invited and they had seen the invite no one told us about the misplaced invite, so it looked to her as though we didnt invite her. If these aunts had asked us in person or a lot of hurt and confusion would have been avoided.

Neyite

I wouldnt open myself up to another refusal from the bride by asking.

I'd just text (cos she is clearly avoiding contact with you). I'd say something along the lines of "I got your message via email from XX withdrawing my invitation to your wedding. Just want to wish you all the best, and hope its a wonderful day for you and your husband to be"

That way, if for some reason the uninvite didnt come from the bride, she now has a heads up about it and can fix it in time, or if its a case where she did ask her friend to email you, then it shows that at least one of you has manners and is courteous.

I wouldnt ask her if it was true just because then you leave yourself wide open to them bitching behind your back.

I'd do this instead of a card as by the time the bride gets the card or reads it, it might be too late to do anything about it.

LegacyUser

Neyite wrote: »

I wouldnt open myself up to another refusal from the bride by asking.

I'd just text (cos she is clearly avoiding contact with you). I'd say something along the lines of "I got your message via email from XX withdrawing my invitation to your wedding. Just want to wish you all the best, and hope its a wonderful day for you and your husband to be"

Thanks - I think this is what I will do. Its also giving me back a little bit of control over the situation and, as you say, shows I have manners. Although I doubt there is any formal etiquette in responding to a wedding uninvite!

I really have no hope that the bride doesn't want me uninvited. The email came from one of her closest friends, one who doesn't know the girls I have apparantly managed to fall out with. I suspect the bride is too embarrassed to contact me herself.

I find it a bit telling most responses on here were kind of in disbelief and along the lines of checking the facts with the bride. I won't bother sending a card for the wedding itself either now.

I'd rather have never been invited than this!

anewme

The whole thing seems very childish. What did we do before we lived our lives though facebook and you tube.

However, OP on your posts you said that whoever posted the comment about the town being rude or having a reputation or whatever was messing and you deleted the comment because you felt it was offensive. Then in another post you say, well I actually do think the people in the town are rude....etc. Is this not a bit unfair to generalise a whole town because of one shop?

Perhaps this attitude has actually come across in your dealings with these people and that is why they have taken the hump and thought, well if that's how you really feel about people in the town, don't bother showing up for the wedding in the town. Have you ever commented in the past about the town, etc?

Maybe they feel you only deleted the comment because you and the third party were "slagging off" the town due to your "interesting" shopping experience when they saw the comments and your real feelings are that people are rude, it is murder capital (or whatever it is that was posted) but that your true beliefs are in line with the comments deleted. Sometimes the written word can be interpreted many ways?

I am not trying to offend you OP, it is just that the whole thing seems a bit weird and childish for a group of people to have taken grave offence (to the extent of uninviting you to a wedding) that you would think there has to be some rationale behind it.

Surely a Bride planning her wedding has better things to be doing than listening or reading he said she said on facebook.

dixiefly

I know you wouldnt want to go at this stage even if she rescinded the uninvite but would there be any benefit in mentioning a meet up for coffee in your text? Surely she isnt that manic busy that she couldnt give a friend a half hour for a chat.
The time in advance of a wedding is busy but the world doesnt stop either and some people overplay the panic - it depends whether you would like to get a chance to get your point across to her and put her on the straight and narrow about her other friends.

solovely

I've read through all the posts. Throughout, people have advised you to speak face to face of over the phone with the bride, and you point blank refuse to do this. Are you petrified of confrontation? After the cowardly way this woman has treated you, you are letting her off far too lightly by not asking for a face to face explanation. I know confrontation is hard, and you might not like everything you hear, but to let this woman, and her friends, away with acting in such a childish and irrational manner is not, as you put it, showing you have manners and dignity, it's letting them away with their behaviour and showing them that it's an OK way to act and thing to do.

Grow a pair and stand up to the bullies. I can't see how you'll feel better or like you have the upper hand by just letting them walk all over you and wishing her well?!

LegacyUser

Well, I sent the bride a message on Facebook (seemed like the most appropriate forum for it), actually using Neyite's words (thanks Neyite!), and recieved a response saying she had been caught between a rock and a hard place, felt bad about it, and the friend who emailed me was a bridesmaid and had offered to do it, as she wanted nothing to do with it (the uninviting). One of the friends whom I have managed to fall out with is the other bridesmaid. Oh, and "thanks for understanding".

So there we have it.

Felt bad about it but let it go on anyway? boo hoo

now you have your confirmation, forget her and move on with your life

Ken.

Do what i done op. On facebook i've a few relatives that annoy me but cannot unfriend them for obvious reasons. What i did is create a group and put everyone else on my friends list in it and changed settings so that only they can see what i post. I'm still "friends" with the relatives on there so no one can get on to me.

tinkerbell

bluewolf wrote: »

Felt bad about it but let it go on anyway? boo hoo

now you have your confirmation, forget her and move on with your life

Agreed, ditch your "friend", she's a stupid cow for the way she handled this, it's completely ridiculous.

If I were you I'd reply and be like "fine, that's your call but I'm disappointed in you for treating me this way. It's made me realise that you're not actually a real friend. Good luck with everything."

Leave it at that - the stupid wagon will then realise she's being ridiculous and has lost a friend. You don't deserve to be treated like crap OP. Don't contact her anymore then and don't send her a card or a present for her wedding.

minidazzler

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

Well, I sent the bride a message on Facebook (seemed like the most appropriate forum for it), actually using Neyite's words (thanks Neyite!), and recieved a response saying she had been caught between a rock and a hard place, felt bad about it, and the friend who emailed me was a bridesmaid and had offered to do it, as she wanted nothing to do with it (the uninviting). One of the friends whom I have managed to fall out with is the other bridesmaid. Oh, and "thanks for understanding".

So there we have it.

Unfriend, delete number, never contact again, she's simply not worth it.

woodchuck

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

Well, I sent the bride a message on Facebook (seemed like the most appropriate forum for it), actually using Neyite's words (thanks Neyite!), and recieved a response saying she had been caught between a rock and a hard place, felt bad about it, and the friend who emailed me was a bridesmaid and had offered to do it, as she wanted nothing to do with it (the uninviting). One of the friends whom I have managed to fall out with is the other bridesmaid. Oh, and "thanks for understanding".

So there we have it.

You’re better off without her OP! Having somebody else do her dirty work is so low. She didn’t even have the courtesy to say anything to you personally until you made the first move (you did the right thing btw) and even then didn’t ask to hear your side of the story. She’s not a true friend. Be thankful that you found that out now before you spent any money celebrating her wedding. I wouldn’t even bother sending her a card.

LegacyUser

minidazzler wrote: »

Unfriend, delete number, never contact again, she's simply not worth it.

Seriously OP do this....this is the sort of thing you hear 10 year olds talking about in the playground, not grown adults. I'm shocked and amazed at the carry on off all of them - are they the "really cool girls" from muriel's wedding or something. Remove them from your life and don't worry your head over it again. Rather then going to some boring wedding you can now take that night/weekend as you time - go off with your partner, have a dirty weekend and just enjoy yourself.

Don't send a card, don't bother contacting any of them ever again, seriously not worth the drama.

ABajaninCork

These people are below par OP.

I would think of all the lovely dosh you've saved! No new outfits, no hotels, no bar bill and definitely NO PRESSIE!!

Take that money and have a lovely holiday with it. Sod 'em - they ain't worth it!

minidazzler

log in you say wrote: »

Seriously OP do this....this is the sort of thing you hear 10 year olds talking about in the playground, not grown adults. I'm shocked and amazed at the carry on off all of them - are they the "really cool girls" from muriel's wedding or something. Remove them from your life and don't worry your head over it again. Rather then going to some boring wedding you can now take that night/weekend as you time - go off with your partner, have a dirty weekend and just enjoy yourself.

Don't send a card, don't bother contacting any of them ever again, seriously not worth the drama.

THIS, you probably have the time booked off anyway, and even if you don't do so, and use the money that would have been spent on the wedding treating yourself!

Let's be honest, most weddings are pretty standard affairs, all the same crap. So you might as well have a good time with someone you don't have to feel awkward around because they are talking about you.

Dirty weekend > Passive aggressive cnuts at weddings

Big Bag of Chips

Feeling Left Out wrote: »

.... as she wanted nothing to do with it (the uninviting).

It's HER wedding!!!!!!!!!! How can she want "nothing to do with" who is invited or "uninvited"?????

Silly cow.

She sounds like a doormat, who allows them to make her decisions for her.... wonder how long it will be before they turn on HER?

Edit: now that you've sent the message, expect her to be overly friendly to you (all in secret, of course.. as "the others" would never allow it) to try compensate for her appalling, spineless behaviour. She will try to pretend like everything is ok between you both now, because you've been "so understanding".

It's up to you how you play that one. Personally I wouldn't engage!

adam88

I wouldn't go next to near any of them anymore. Don't even reply to her and definitely don't send a card cause if you do that they'll think your a right walk over. Have some respect for yourself. I know your feelin low about the whole situation but aren't you better off knowing now what they think of not rather than spending all that money on her.

Leave her off and get on with your life knowlmg that you've been the bigger person

neuro-praxis

She sounds a bit mentally deficient tbh.

Try not to feel too hurt. She and her friends are too stupid for words. Go, be at peace about this!

solerina

I agree with everyone else here, the bride and her bridesmaids are idiots and have the maturity of ten year olds, forget about them, you are better off having nothing at all to do with them !!

Big Bag of Chips

As a parting shot I'd be so tempted to send them all a link to this!!

I'd have to sit on my hands, I think!

Bubblefett

Well done OP, you've come across as the mature adult in all this and your should be proud. The bride is making excuses and her other bridesmade shouldn't be getting involved, least of all sending you uninvite emails. And the bridesmade you fought with shouldn't have impossed her own issues on the wedding. She was upset that you had the final say in the fight (by you deleting her) and it looks like she just tried to hurt you as a result.
The whole situation makes me angry but it's great how you've just come across as the bigger person.
Really, you should be very proud.

Jaysoose

The thing to take out of all this is the person you fell out with is so incredibly selfish she couldnt put her own frankly pathetic reasons for falling out with you to one side for the sake of her friends wedding and the bride is letting selfish people dictate what happens on her day.

You truly are better off out of all this nonsense OP these kind of people are poisonous and you an be sure if the bride says she feels bad then she knows its completely out of order but doesnt have the spine to stand up for herself.

Wouldnt give it a second though if i was you.

Cunning Stunt

wow - I find it hard to believe that this carry-on is coming from someone who is old enough to get married! I just can't believe a grown adult would behave like that! Maybe the bride to be should see this thread and realise what a gob****e she is.