how to stop masturbating

LegacyUser

over most of my teenage years iv had a lot of stress depression ect so one way to deal with feeling down was to spend lots of time masturbating. almost daily. unfortunately this trend has followed me into my college years although not a frequent..

now that im in college and sexually active, i find it extremely difficult to ejaculate during sex - its actually never happened before. (the different pressures and different speeds are not what im accustomed to) so naturally this it very very frustrating.

its become a vicious circle by the more i masturbate, the less lightly i am to peak during sex and the more often i have sex the more often im left frustrated and masturbating to make up the difference.

so i think i have to re-adjust my mindset to what should work and what should not. but the problem is braking the vicious circle by stopping **** every time im bored/frustrated so when i do have sex there will be a greater chance of reaching climax

the longest ive gone is about a week but i dont know if this is even long enough. i expect it to take longer

has anybody ever been in the same position or any idea how to help me ?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
I think you should cut down on the masturbating, it clearly has desntisised you and making it harder to have sex.
Also from what you described it seems that you use masturbating as a crutch rather than something you do for pleasure. When you stressed and anxious you use it like someone might have a smoke or a drink. This seems to me like it could be an addiction as it interferes with your life. But rather than cut it out completely I would just masturbate when you fell the urge and you are horny. If you are strressed or anxious take a few deep breaths, go for a walk or do something else. Slowly this bad habit will change.

Best of Luck.

santana75

CantClimaxDuringSex wrote: »

over most of my teenage years iv had a lot of stress depression ect so one way to deal with feeling down was to spend lots of time masturbating. almost daily. unfortunately this trend has followed me into my college years although not a frequent..

now that im in college and sexually active, i find it extremely difficult to ejaculate during sex - its actually never happened before. (the different pressures and different speeds are not what im accustomed to) so naturally this it very very frustrating.

its become a vicious circle by the more i masturbate, the less lightly i am to peak during sex and the more often i have sex the more often im left frustrated and masturbating to make up the difference.

so i think i have to re-adjust my mindset to what should work and what should not. but the problem is braking the vicious circle by stopping **** every time im bored/frustrated so when i do have sex there will be a greater chance of reaching climax

the longest ive gone is about a week but i dont know if this is even long enough. i expect it to take longer

has anybody ever been in the same position or any idea how to help me ?

Theres no gimmick or short cut Im afraid, you just gotta committ yourself to stopping. The problem is theres a subversive message thats conveyed via society, the media, etc about how masturbation is normal, healthy and encouraged. Now Im not saying that masturbation is wrong or anythng like that but the problem is when you go to stop wacking off you run into this programming which gives you the all clear to keep at it. I mean why would you give up something thats not supposed to be bad for you? And when that happens it becomes difficult to stop because there seems to be no good reason why you should.
But the thing is its an issue for you. You need to forget about everybody else who may tell you to keep going theres nothing wrong with it, theyre not you, they dont know that you masturbate to block out feelings or distract yourself from boredom or whatever. When you use something to distract yourself or to avoid feeling its not so healthy. And you're right about the intercourse issue. Your hand is way stronger than a vigina so your johnson becomes desensitized. It becomes even harder to feel anything if you wear a condom. The only way out is through. Set yourself a goal of going 2 weeks without jacking off. Be smart about it, the buddhists call it guarding the gates to your senses, which means dont watch pornos or go to strip clubs(for the moment anyway). The chances are when you do stop for that length of time you'll feel unconfortable emotions. Dont react to them and jerk off, just let them be, let them go through you and do their thing because thats the real issue here. Once you go 2 weeks you'll find that yo can handle any situation and you'll be in control of your urges, you'll get to decide if yo wanna jack off or not, you wont feel powerless to stop it.

robman60

When you feel the urge, do about 30 sit-ups or push-ups, straight away. This, coupled with a genuine will to stop masturbating will make things a lot easier.

I think the reasoning behind this is that the physical exercise causes the blood to flow to your muscles, thus stopping the boner!

Any sort of exercise will really work, these are just the most convenient and quick.

Good luck.

blatantrereg

Dont worry about masturbating. It's really not the issue here.

Kegels can tighten things up for women and increase pressure for men.

Dont be overly shy about going hard/fast when she is ready.

calex71

OP how much is porn a factor in this ????

Normally masturbating in or out of a relationship is quite ok ..... excessively in a relationship is not.

I would say like others to go cold turkey but if you are using porn I would say just cut that out and masturbate less often without the visual aids, not science and my own opinion here, but excessive use of porn can subconsciously train you brain into needing it to get off, and excessive masturbation training you to a particular form of physical stimulus to cum.

In short, do it more with the girl to aid in the retraining

memphis

i don't believe masturbation is the issue here. you simple sound like someone who has a very high sex drive. You are horny all the time, feel the need to play with yourself for release etc despite being in a relationship.

Can I ask about your upbringing? Where you a happy child? A good or bad upbringing? Where you a confident child, encouraged to succeed, and supported in your actions, or where you ridiculed, looked down upon, lack self esteem?

Sorry if this offends, but these are clearly factors you need to look upon, need to address. You need to ask yourself why you masturbate too much rather than seeking a way to stop.

Masturbating is natural, you won't go blind, grow hairs on the palm of your hand, or what not.... You may however have phsycological issues based around your masturbating habits, but masturbating itself in my opinion is not the issue and main source behind your concerns.

howsyourtusk

Do you orgasm when a girl gives you a hand job or blow job? Try focus on that sort of thing for a while and maybe it'll become less about "you" having to cum. Also, you don't mention alcohol but if you're having sex when drunk you won't ever cum. I know I rarely do. Can be fun in some respect but definitely a factor, especially for someone's who's inexperienced!