Found out my girlfriend is a virgin...

LegacyUser

First off...I am actually delighted to know this; 1) Because she trusted me enough to tell me this even though she is quite reserved, and 2) I am also a virgin!

Bit of background, we're both 23 and have been together 4 months. At the early stages of the relationship (as in the first month) I was aware that I had never really had a girlfriend or had sex. I though that this would somehow be my downfall however I got over these thoughts. I had never been so instantly attracted to anyone before until I met my GF and I knew there was something about her that made it feel right.

As time has gone on we've gotten more comfortable with each other, been with each other's families, shared great memories. Gotten more comfortable with kissing etc. Even shared a bed on a number of occasions....but we'd never had sex or even discussed anything sexual.

Up until last week this had raised questions/doubts in my head..."Maybe she isn't that into me?"...."Maybe she wants me to initiate it"..."Maybe she's just shy"...etc. I basically started thinking that maybe the problem was with me and my lack of experience with women. She's very beautiful in my eyes and I would have though that she'd have had other men in her life before me, which left me thinking "maybe they were more than me"...i was wrong.

I knew my girlfriend was more the quiet type and that she takes time to "open up" with thoughts/feelings... I have also been aware of a slightly stronger bond between us in the last month, neither of us have said the "I love you" line but I get this feeling between us as if something just clicked and that there is more feeling than before (again, all new feelings for me)

Just there midweek we were hanging out, I decided it was late and that I'd head home...(She was stressed out with college work and I gave her my time to take her mind off).

We hugged and kissed for a while, a little longer than usual actually. While I was holding her I could feel she was thinking something, then she said "There's something I need to say, that I maybe should have said a while ago".... Instantly my mind started racing with what possibly she may come out with...would it be good...would it be bad...what would it mean between us...

She simply said "This may seem odd and embarrassing at 23 but I've never had sex before".... I looked at her and without even a second thought I said "Me neither" .... we both just looked at each other in mild shock and amazement and hugged for ages... She said that she was so relieved... I told her that it wasn't embarrassing and that if anything i respect her even more (hope I handled that well!)


I am her first proper boyfriend, she's my first proper girlfriend and we're both virgins at 23! Sounds like something from the 1800's but I am absolutely delighted/relieved/honoured that this has finally come up! Delighted because I must mean alot to her, relieved that it's not just me being inexperienced and honoured that she has confided strongly in me on a topic that we hadn't even touched...it was like the elephant in the room and again, she is kinda shy about emotional stuff...

So why am I on here....basically I need to put it out there as a release of my amazement and happiness..

I would also like to know it means for our relationship? I can already feel it stronger since that came up...

I think the main thing is that I give her space and don't pressure her into anything but I also think that she may be interested in going further, hence why she told me...

What are your thoughts on this situation (although it's probably no big deal to most people)?

Thanks!

P. Breathnach

I don't mean this in a patronising way: that's a sweet story. I actually feel very pleased for both of you.

What does it mean for your relationship? Nothing but good, I think. The meeting of minds is more important than the meeting of bodies. Yes, it seems likely that she is thinking that your relationship should move on to the stage of having sex together. As you are able to talk about the fact that you are both virgins, I think you can also talk about the possibility that you might change that situation. Try to avoid putting either of you under pressure.

ihsb

You read some things on here.... but this is one of the nicest things I have heard. Just keep talking and you will find the right time for both of you. Good luck!

beks101

So you're both virgins. I don't think it's quite as uncommon as you think, I know a few people who were about your age or older when they finally got around to doing the deed.

It's great that you're both in the position to lose it to someone you feel strongly about though, so consider yourself lucky!

However, from reading your post, I get the feeling you're prone to a bit of over analysis and that could be very damaging for the sexual side of your relationship if you're not careful.

Do you and your girlfriend plan on waiting much longer or is sex something that you'd like to happen soon? This is something you need to discuss openly and frankly with your gf, because otherwise you could just spend the next four months kissing and hugging and wondering what each other wants.

Unless you both have strong reasons/beliefs for staying celibate, I think it's important that things become sexual between you and that means you're going to have to take initiative. The fact is that sex is an important part of an adult relationship and by waiting, wondering and over thinking it, you're just making it harder on yourselves in the long run.

Talk to your girlfriend, find out what she wants and take it from there. Best of luck

puddles22

as other people have said really nice story to have read, congratulations on finding someone who means so much to you

with re. to this advice

I think it's important that things become sexual between you and that means you're going to have to take initiative.

i think that if u love each other that much u dont have to rush into anything , take your time enjoy yourselves , develop a sexual relationship only when the both of you are comfortable , my feeling on it is that it will happen naturally between the two of you.

lace

Hi OP!

First off - this is a lovely story to read! It's nice to read something really positive amid all the worries about recession etc.

This means great things for the relationship! Firstly, you've both found someone with whom you feel comfortable and have very strong feelings for. Secondly that other someone also happens to be new to the sexual side of things.

The best thing to do is talk to her about it. Ye have both admitted to never having done it before so the hard part is over! If being sexual is something the two of you really want to do then take things slowly. It'll happen naturally if you give yourselves time to get comfortable with it.

I'm confused as to what the issue actually is. You're in a seemingly great relationship, both in love and both are virgins. So, don't worry about where it might go for now. Just enjoy it. And the fact that ye are both virgins puts you on level ground for the relationship. If and when you have sex, it probably won't be great at the start, but once you build up a technique, you'll get more into it.

calex71

The fun you two are going have if it happens

Sweet story, delighted for the pair of you to have found someone and there not be the pressure of the deed etc. now.

Nothing weird about being a virgin at 23, unusual perhaps? yes, but nothing at all wrong with that. If it's something you both want then great and enjoy it, all of the fun about being inexperienced is in the learning, and this way you are both on the same level.

If both of you are ready for it it will happen naturally so I wouldn't worry about it, if you are both happy in the relationship enjoy it for what it is and let nature take it's course.

memphis

What a nice read.

Just wanted to say, age should not be an issue when it comes to loosing your virginity. You will do so if and when it is right for you. If it makes you feel any better, I was in fact your age when I first had intercourse. Nothing at all to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

Just go will the flow, it will happen when the time is right for both of ye. You sound like a mature enough chap, someone in a loving, solid relationship.

the best advice i can give is keep the communication channels open. be honest with each other, and be sure that ye are both in agreement when it comes to doing the deed.

Best of luck

KealanOCarroll

Cool story bro!

Best of luck with it, Ye sound really happy together

LegacyUser

From reading it seems you're very comfortable with each other and things will happen naturally. You really do seem to be on the same wave length and it's impressive the thinking you were doing in that long hug and for your girlfriend to be thinking much the same!
I wouldn't put too much thought into it and just enjoy things as ye go along.
btw, i was virgin until i was 23.. nothing weird with it at all!