Is he a bad boyfriend?

LegacyUser

I have been 'offically seeing' my OH for 5 months. We were dating a month or so before that. I'm 22 he's 23, he's just out of college and working and i'm in my final year so we are both busy.

I thought he was a good boyfriend (and he was great when we stated seeing each other) but lately some things have been slightly bothering me. I notice my friends seem to see their OH's 3/4 times a week, they email and text and facebook each other every day.

I sometimes go 7-8 days without seeing my OH, he only contacts me once or twice in this time. Unless I contact him first which I do on facebook chat.

He often tells me he is really really busy but then I see on his fb he has spend his Fri/Sat night with his friends, not me.

Since we started having sex he doesn't take me on dates anymore, just straight to his house to have sex 2 or 3 times then sends me home. We used to go out every Sat night.

He tells me he is nuts about me and he loves me and i'm perfect for him but it just doesn't add up at all. Should I break up with him or am I being a clingy gf. I try to give him his space and don't expect to see him all the time, but twice a week would be nice. I am doing my degree and thesis so I am busy too.I'm supposed to be equally as important as his friends am I not? I have only had 2 other boyfriends but it wasnt like that with them.


I want to see him all the time because I'm crazy about him and love spending time with him, should he not feel the same way??

Thanks

I am a friend

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

I notice my friends seem to see their OH's 3/4 times a week, they email and text and facebook each other every day.

That would seem 'normal' for me but may be too much or too little for other people. I personally dont see why you would be in a relationship with someone you rarely see / talk to..

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

I sometimes go 7-8 days without seeing my OH, he only contacts me once or twice in this time. Unless I contact him first which I do on facebook chat.

Thats very strange. Have you met his friends? How far apart do ye live? so you are both contacting each other - thats fine but the issue is that you seldom see him.

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

He often tells me he is really really busy but then I see on his fb he has spend his Fri/Sat night with his friends, not me.

If he was really in love, he would not be really really busy every weekend with his friends - sorry.

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

Since we started having sex he doesn't take me on dates anymore, just straight to his house to have sex 2 or 3 times then sends me home. We used to go out every Sat night.

But you let him. You have a choice in all this. tell him you dont want to o home that you want to go out for the night. Go out with him, have fun and then head to your own home. Why are you letting him call all the shots...

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

He tells me he is nuts about me and he loves me and i'm perfect for him but it just doesn't add up at all.

It doesnt...

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

I want to see him all the time because I'm crazy about him and love spending time with him, should he not feel the same way??

Well maybe not all the time but more often and not only for sex....

OP, dont take this the wrong way but are you sure ye are BF and GF? Sounds to me, based on your post, that he is having his cake and eating it. He is getting sex without having to put in any effort into a relationship.

I would not dump someone based on how often you see them but I would if I were not happy in the relationship and you arent

LegacyUser

I left this out of the original message -

we are bf and gf on facebook

I haven't met his friends, he won't meet mine

Miss Fluff

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

I left this out of the original message -

we are bf and gf on facebook

I haven't met his friends, he won't meet mine

People seem to get Facebook and real-life mixed up. This means absolutely nothing if his behaviour doesn't correlate. And words unfortunately are empty when not followed up with actions. He's not behaving like a devoted boyfriend in any shape or form so in answer to your question is he a bad boyfriend? Yes, but that's if he is actually your boyfriend at all, sounds to me like you're someone he has sex with periodically, regardless of what he's telling you.

Stavro Mueller

The OP did say they were "official" so I can only assume they had some sort of conversation in real life about this. I think that's neither here nor there. It's all the things he has done since which are turning this into red flag city.

He's not even bothering to take the OP out any more. Just bringing her home for a spot of wham, bam, thank you ma'am before sending her home? Classy.
He thinks so little of her that he's telling her he's really really busy yet isn't concerned that she'll know that he's out on the town at weekends with his friends .
He's refusing to meet her friends or to have her meet his. Why?

Sorry OP but if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck. Don't waste any more of your time on this cad. You deserve someone better than this.

The Lovely Muffin

He's using you for sex and nothing more.

You may be boyfriend and girlfriend on Facebook (which, let's be honest, mean's jack sh!t in real life), it's how he behaves towards you in real life that counts and right now, he is treating you terribly.

You need to get rid of him and find someone else who will treat you how you should be treated, and how your current boyfriend is treating you is not how you should be treated. You are better off without him.

krudler

he's in it for the ride, simple as.

Zen65

Relationshiphelp23 wrote: »

I haven't met his friends, he won't meet mine

That's a very bad sign. I can only interpret that he has no desire to become more involved with you..... in fact he wants to keep you at arms length except when it suits him.

Listen to your own heart, don't be misled by a Facebook status!

Be at peace,

Z

jam_mac_jam

He sends you home after sex? What he kicks you out of the house? No he is a bad boyfriend, it sounds like its only sex.

When you say he refuses to meet your friends, do you ask him and he says no? And if so, on what grounds?

Yup, sounds like this is a friends-with-benefits style situation more than a relationship.

ElleEm

Five months is a long time to be with someone without meeting their friends. I would have concerns about that alone.

The fact that you don't really communicate is strange, and the fact that when you do meet it's all about sex is a telltale sign that he is not treating you as a girlfriend, he sees you as a fu*k buddy.

going un-reg

OP, your "so called" boyfriend is clearly lying to you, that's pretty evident.

It all sounds VERY fishy and I couldn't possibly trust someone like that. I'd end things if I were you, this guys sounds like he's exploiting you.

Facebook bf and gf? seriously? :rolleyes:

Dancer656

Yeah I have a feeling that he might be using you. The fact that he sends you home after having sex with you isn't really the best sign. Just going by what you've told us about the relationship, I'm seems like he tells you that he loves you just to keep you sweet.