Age old difference again!!

LegacyUser

I know this type of thread has been brought up numerous times before but I'm still unclear what to do. I'm 29 and I've been seeing a 40 ish girl for the last while. When I say 40 ish, it is because we have never discussed age. I have indirectly worked it out from what she has told me (work history, online search etc) but I can't be a hundred per cent conclusive about it. At this stage I have met her at least 7 or 8 times and the topic has never been discussed. I also speak to her a lot on the phone(must be at least every second day at this stage now). Thing is I really like her and I'm beginning to develop a certain compatability with her. I'm pretty sure she feels the same judging from the signals I get from her. This is a strange situation for me as I generally have no issue meeting girls but Its a while since I felt so comfortable with one. I for one have no issue with age difference as I don't define a person by a number. She's smart, professionally successful and we just generally get on and have a laugh when we interact.

Should I just bring the subject up now? The thing that worries me now perhaps is maybe she thinks I'm much older than I really am as its a pretty regular occurrence that people think that. Though I'd like to reiterate that I have never once told her anything deceitful in the times we have met and spoke and I'm thinking in a way she should have been able to work my age out indirectly too from what I have relayed to her about my past. I just wouldn't like it to progress any further and then for her to call a halt to it because she is surprised or uncomfortable by the age difference

I am a friend

Juolescw wrote: »

I just wouldn't like it to progress any further and then for her to call a halt to it because she is surprised or uncomfortable by the age difference

Why would it matter to her? have you issues with her age?

LegacyUser

No not at all, I like her very much I just find it strange that it hasn't been brought up in conversation yet. Its like we're both purposefully avoiding the topic at this stage. And I guess I'm just getting concerned now that maybe she thinks I'm older than what I am, as for whatever reason most people miscalculate my age in a general sense of physical recognition.

LegacyUser

Yeah I would be to be honest. I've enjoyed the time I've spent with her so far and feel relaxed in her company. Personally I would still like to continue to see her despite the age difference

ted1

The only problem i'd see with her age is that she's beyond the prime age for having safe pregnancies.

have you thought about having kids, within the next few years?

if this is soemthing your willing to accept i don't really see any issue.

Herrick

ted1 wrote: »

The only problem i'd see with her age is that she's beyond the prime age for having safe pregnancies.

have you thought about having kids, within the next few years?

if this is soemthing your willing to accept i don't really see any issue.

+1

OP would you like to have kids someday? The age gap may come into play if so...

LegacyUser

To be perfectly honest I don't have a huge paternal urge within myself so I don't think it would be an issue. Obviously its not a thing we've discussed at this very early stage of knowing each other...<mod snip>

blatantrereg

Juolescw wrote: »

I have indirectly worked it out from what she has told me (work history, online search etc) but I can't be a hundred per cent conclusive about it.

Lots of people [like me] hate people doing this. If you want to know something then ask her. Dont violate her privacy by snooping about.

She might be surprised by the age difference. It wouldn't matter to most people and probably won't effect how she sees you. Again - just tell her. Problem solved really.

Emme

OP, do you want children? You might not want them now but I know of men who didn't want children in their 20s and 30s and then in their 40s or even 50s decided that they wanted children.

I'm 40 myself and I feel for this woman, but you have to put yourself first and decide if you might want to have children in the future. If so there's no point in pursuing a relationship with her.

If you're definite about not having children in the future then be upfront about age when you next meet. It's up to you both then if you want to pursue a relationship.

solerina

Juolescw wrote: »

I know this type of thread has been brought up numerous times before but I'm still unclear what to do

If things are working out and ye are both happy then do nothing !!! Age will only be an issue if ye decide to make it one !!

LegacyUser

I don't have an issue with the age difference or indeed the capabilities of planning a family, I'm just enjoying the time I spend with her at present. I just find it odd considering how many times we've met and spoke so far that we keep avoiding the topic, and even at this stage I'm still not 100% sure of her real age and I guess she would be in the same situation as I have never told her my true age to date also.

Airhead21

I have friend and they are expecting their second child she is 42 and he is only 29 they are the happiest couple that I know.

If you enjoy your time with her that is all that matters. Do not worry about age:)

mistee

I am a 31 year old woman, I have always dated men around my own age but for some reason or another it never worked out. I have met a man who is 43 and he wants to try make a go of it with me, I get on good with him we have a good time but the age gap is bothering me – I think it maybe worrying me what people think about the situation.
So maybe this is telling me that a lad my own age wont work????

Emme

mistee wrote: »

I am a 31 year old woman, I have always dated men around my own age but for some reason or another it never worked out. I have met a man who is 43 and he wants to try make a go of it with me, I get on good with him we have a good time but the age gap is bothering me – I think it maybe worrying me what people think about the situation.
So maybe this is telling me that a lad my own age wont work????

I'm sure the age gap isn't bothering him!

daisybelle2008

mistee wrote: »

I think it maybe worrying me what people think about the situation.

So maybe this is telling me that a lad my own age wont work????

First stop worrying about what other people think. It is the quickest route to misery, there are 7 billion of them, how do you plan on pleasing them all?

Worry only about if you are happy with this person.

It is not telling you anything about if a lad your age will work or not.

Just see if you are enjoying this relationship and worry less about the age or other peoples opinions.

mistee

I do enjoy his company and he enjoys mine - i know i should say 'i dont care what people think - its my life'

Thanks for the input