What to do.

LegacyUser

Need a bit of an outside perspective as im just unsure what to do. I was with my ex for 3 years and she is the only girl i have ever slept with. We were best friends before we went out and we ended it in December after it fizzled out. We knew in the end we were just going to end as best friends. She doesnt live near anymore and their is no hope of us getting back together and we talk most days. But my friend thinks its weird and im not going to a girl if im still talking to my ex. We get on so well and cutting her out of my life would be like losing a best friend. Is it weird to stay friends with an ex and would most girls not be happy with that. We get on great still and we tell each other things we wouldnt tell anyone else. I really dont want to lose her out of my life but do people think it is healthy to keep in contact with an ex.

I am a friend

What to do. wrote: »

Is it weird to stay friends with an ex

Nope -not if you can handle it.. I am 'friends', meaning not enemies with most of my ex's.. i think if it doesnt end badly and there are no residual feelings then its strange just to cut them out of your lives.

What to do. wrote: »

would most girls not be happy with that.

Well depends what you talk to her about.. If you are talking to her about the intimate workings of the new relationship then I suspect they would not be happy...

Idle Passerby

Its not weird to stay friends with an ex as long as both parties are happy to do that but speaking every day probably will effect how quickly you move on with your life. Besides other girls potentially feeling threatened by your being so close to your ex, when would you have time to meet a new girl if your on the phone/facebook to your ex every day?

If you did meet someone else how would you feel about telling your ex that you've met someone new? It wouldn't be appropriate to continue the kind of friendship where you "tell each other things you don't tell anyone else". Or how would you feel if she told you she was going out with someone else and no longer wanted to keep in touch on a daily basis?

Miss Fluff

What to do. wrote: »

Need a bit of an outside perspective as im just unsure what to do. I was with my ex for 3 years and she is the only girl i have ever slept with. We were best friends before we went out and we ended it in December after it fizzled out. We knew in the end we were just going to end as best friends. She doesnt live near anymore and their is no hope of us getting back together and we talk most days. But my friend thinks its weird and im not going to a girl if im still talking to my ex. We get on so well and cutting her out of my life would be like losing a best friend. Is it weird to stay friends with an ex and would most girls not be happy with that. We get on great still and we tell each other things we wouldnt tell anyone else. I really dont want to lose her out of my life but do people think it is healthy to keep in contact with an ex.

I think a. it is very recent and b. talking every day is excessive. I think it's excessive because you are not actually going out anymore and boyfriends and girlfriends tend to talk to one another every day. Don't cut contact if you feel it unnecessary but I'd definitely be putting a different emphasis on the relationship and its dynamic because if you don't then nothing has really changed bar the fact you are no longer intimate has it? And your friend is right insofar as it could certainly jeopardise the success of a fledgling relationship if you feel the need to talk to an ex every day, it would be so offputting for any girl who may be interested in getting to know you. So in answer to your question, sure - stay in touch, but wean yourself off a little too as otherwise you're not really moving on.....

Rented Mule

What to do. wrote: »

.Is it weird to stay friends with an ex

My son's godmother is an ex of mine. You can pull it off if you are both mature enough to understand your 'friendship'.

snafuk35

What to do. wrote: »

Need a bit of an outside perspective as im just unsure what to do. I was with my ex for 3 years and she is the only girl i have ever slept with. We were best friends before we went out and we ended it in December after it fizzled out. We knew in the end we were just going to end as best friends. She doesnt live near anymore and their is no hope of us getting back together and we talk most days. But my friend thinks its weird and im not going to a girl if im still talking to my ex. We get on so well and cutting her out of my life would be like losing a best friend. Is it weird to stay friends with an ex and would most girls not be happy with that. We get on great still and we tell each other things we wouldnt tell anyone else. I really dont want to lose her out of my life but do people think it is healthy to keep in contact with an ex.

If you are happy with it then why not?
Your romantic relationship is over and you and her can talk as friends about personal stuff about what's going on in your lives then isn't that cool?
Why is it anybody else's business?
Who says it is weird?
What is "weird" anyway?
Decide what you want to do and do it.

ihsb

I am friendly with my ex. But it took ages to get there, but we would never be friends though. My friends I talk about everything with each other and I just don't think you can have that type of a friendship with someone you have had a physical relationship with.

And if you have a really friendly friendship with an ex where you talk about relationships, then it might be an issue for the next girl to come along. I wouldn't like it.