A Best Man?

Eglinton

Hi,

Recently got engaged. Going for a civil ceremony. I have no brothers or close male cousins. I have a great and wide circle of friends but none in particular that would be a stand out option for the traditional Best Man role. She will have one Bridesmaid (sister). Would it a travesty not to have a Best Man?

Part of me is thinking why bother when there's no obvious choice (could be any of 5 people really if forced to have one). I have no interest in symmetry etc. and probably won't have a pro photographer anyway bossing us around. It will be a simple enough affair. The only things I can think of that a Best Man would be useful for are paying the band (anyone can do that), a speech (both fathers and ourselves will be more than capable ourselves), anything else?

Opinions appreciated.

Thoie

I don't think you *have* to have a best man, but it can be handy having a "go to" person on the day - someone that will deal with anything that crops up along the way. If your father, or someone similar, was willing to run interception on the day, that would suffice.

Gamb!t

Eglinton wrote: »

Hi,

Recently got engaged. Going for a civil ceremony. I have no brothers or close male cousins. I have a great and wide circle of friends but none in particular that would be a stand out option for the traditional Best Man role. She will have one Bridesmaid (sister). Would it a travesty not to have a Best Man?

Part of me is thinking why bother when there's no obvious choice (could be any of 5 people really if forced to have one). I have no interest in symmetry etc. and probably won't have a pro photographer anyway bossing us around. It will be a simple enough affair. The only things I can think of that a Best Man would be useful for are paying the band (anyone can do that), a speech (both fathers and ourselves will be more than capable ourselves), anything else?

Opinions appreciated.

I too am an only child and have many different circles of friends.I found it quite difficult to choose my best man as I have 3 really close friends.In the end I choose my oldest friend from childhood.I felt a bit uncomfortable at first as there were gaps where we did not hang out but we always kept in touch and in the end it felt right asking him.
Good luck.

gowayouttadat

We're not having a traditional best man but one thing to note is that you have to nominate two witnesses. My sister is bridesmaid and dps brother is the other witness although he's not official best man.

Peregrinus

Yup, as gowayouttadat points out you do need two witnesses. Traditionally one of these is a woman friend or relative of the bride, and acts as bridesmaid, while the other is a male friend or relative of the groom and acts as best man. Because the witnesses sign papers as part of the the whole wedding business, they usually form part of the bridal party. But it’s your wedding; feel free to ignore the tradition if you want to. There is no requirement that one witness should be nominated by each of the bride and groom, and there is no requirement that one be male and the other female. One advantage of choosing a female might be that she, and everyone else, will more readily understand that she is not expected to fill the traditional “best man” role.

Sleepy

I was at a wedding last year where the groom was in a slightly similar situation to yourself: too many obvious candidates for best man and he didn't want to insult any of them by going with just one of them. So, he asked his dad to be his best man. Thought it was a lovely touch and how many father's wouldn't be extremely touched to still be considered the main man in their son's life beyond childhood?

Gatica

I think that's a really lovely idea. and noone could get offended if you picked your dad!

Beruthiel

Sleepy wrote: »

So, he asked his dad to be his best man.

Great idea.
OP, my daughter was my bridesmaid.

Zaph

gowayouttadat wrote: »

We're not having a traditional best man but one thing to note is that you have to nominate two witnesses. My sister is bridesmaid and dps brother is the other witness although he's not official best man.

dps?

lazygal

I was at a wedding where there was no bridal party. The mums of the couple signed the register of marriage as the witnesses. They didn't see the need for a bridal party and it seemed to work for them.

Raphael

Nothing wrong with not having a best man, though in addition to a witness, you'll also need someone to be in charge on the day - you don't need to be worrying about things like logistics of the meal, paying people, etc. I handled all that right up until the night before, then dropped it all in my best mans lap for the day, and it was such a huge relief to not have to worry about any of it!