Forced to Retire From My Passion and Dream Career (3 years on)

dougieruggie

I was forced to retire from the sport I love (rugby) because of injury and honestly it really upsets me. I was on the cusp of turning pro and then everything was taken away from me. It really hits home during the 6 Nations when I watch it. I've taken up a new sport, boxing, and while I love it and while it doesnt aggravate my injury, it just isnt the same.

I feel like I staked my whole life on going pro and when that was taken away from me a few years ago everything fell apart. I just feel empty. Lost and disinterested. I was considering a career in rugby punditry or coaching maybe so I could still be involved but Im not sure if that would be too difficult for me to bear. Being amongst it as a coach but not actually playing

I like the idea of punditry and I've been enjoying the rugby forum here but unfortunately theres a small bullying element there which is actively trying to discourage me from posting. I am beginning to think I wont make it as a pundit either because people seem to hate what I have to say

I guess I just dont know what I'm going to do in life. No proper education, unable to play rugby and in a **** stop-gap job.

Ken.

Two names for you:George Hook and Eamon Dunphy. Not many like what they have to say but rugby or football punditry in Ireland just would not be the same without them on a panel in their respective sports.

I am a friend

Have you thought about training to be a referee?

Daisy M

I am a friend wrote: »

Have you thought about training to be a referee?

or look into coaching even if it is only at local level. Also look into retraining yourself in something else that would appeal to you it never hurts to have a backup plan.

leggo

This is a serious issue and many pros (and I'm sure former semi-pros like yourself who've gone unreported) have had well-documented trouble in finding their next 'muse' whether their retirement was natural or prematurely enforced.

Having gone through a similar experience, and been fortunate enough to find a new passion afterwards, it's just a case of trial and error. When you do what you love the highs are high and the lows are really, really low. So to have that stripped from you is always going to leave a void.

What I'd recommend is drawing a line under the whole experience. You obviously got further in rugby than most people, who would likely be just as passionate but not have your ability, so that's something to be proud of. Take great pride in one chapter and accept that this is an opportunity to start a brand new one.

Why not start a podcast or the likes on rugby? Or even do what I did and go down to your local community station and even host a show on the subject? That way you get to indulge in your passion for punditry and see how it goes. Even if you get nowhere the process and enjoyment should still fill the void if you truly love it. It offers you enough of a base in what you know via the subject matter, plus a new challenge in learning a new discipline so that'll keep you interested.

Something to think about anyway. I know plenty like you and know exactly how you feel. But right now you're not just at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. It's just a case of finding what exactly the latter is, and when you do you'll be laughing.

krudler

become a coach? use what you know and you'll get to see younger people get into the sport

Taltos

OP - if punditry is your thing now then you have to go for it.

Besides the rugby forum there are so many other mediums. You could start a blog, podcast as someone above said, why not even do a course in journalism and see about doing it professionally? Even approach some of your local radio stations and see about doing a small segment for free - just get your name and voice out there..

One thing I will caution is that I would expect that area to be quite cut-throat and aggressive, this is purely my non-educated view though so I could be totally wrong.

In terms of the bullying you have experienced I cannot get into discussions on another forum but I am assuming that you have reviewed their charter and have contacted the relevant Mods / CMods. If you have and still feel you are being treated unfairly then you can always use the HelpDesk forum (before doing so ensure you have read the charter there).

Remember - nothing in life comes easy - sometimes you have to fight and struggle for what you really want. Sorry to hear about your injury but do what you can not to let the loss of one career hold you back if you can. Make sure that you find someone to talk to and work through the new opportunities that will be open to you now.


Mod Note:
Please no further discussion on how the Rugby forum operates. There is a clear process for all users of each forum and if this thread impinges on that we will have no option but to close this one.

Stavro Mueller

Have you looked into going back to school or getting to college? I'm taking from what you wrote that your education took a back burner to your burgeoning rugby career. Are there any courses that you'd like to take? Would you like to be a journalist, for example? Could you go back and talk to your old career guidance counsellor in school? Or find one that you can go see?

I can't comment on the punditry thing because I don't know much about it. What I have noticed is that most of the people who are asked their opinions on radio/TV/newspapers tend to be either sports journalists or players/managers who competed at the highest level. Perhaps there are ways to make a few bob out of it but is it a realistic career option? Feel free to correct me here because like I said, I'm talking very much in layman's terms here.

ambid

dougieruggie wrote: »

...
I like the idea of punditry and I've been enjoying the rugby forum here but unfortunately theres a small bullying element there which is actively trying to discourage me from posting. I am beginning to think I wont make it as a pundit either because people seem to hate what I have to say
...

Sorry to hear you had to retire from playing. I hope you find a new path to fill the void.

I've noticed your posts on the rugby forum and have found them to be insightful and thought-provolking. I hope you continue to contribute.

The rugby forum is great but it can be difficult for Ireland and Leinster v Munster matches. The mods do a great job but it can be difficult to control. I hope you give the forum more time as it's good when emotions are a little calmer, and it does always need more insightful opinions.

This is not intended to contradict the mod warning above.

LegacyUser

I totally understand that awful feeling of emptiness and the frustration at seeing others follow a career that you wanted to follow. Years ago I had to finally accept I would not become a professional in a totally different field (dance, in fact!) Your post reminds me of how awful it was and how I tried everything to fill in that void. Any time I went to see a performance I would be so depressed after it thinking that should have been me. I tried out other aspects of theatre so I would be still on stage but it wasnt' the same.

I know yours is a sports story, but it is the same with the arts where you dedicate so much of your life and make so many sacrifices to be good at something. Having to admit that is not going to be your life is not easy.

My advice is to give yourself time... And don't expect yourself suddenly to wake up some morning feeling fine. Things will get better I promise you. But remember this is like a bereavement. You are leaving behind a part of your life that you really really loved.

You will find something else that will make you feel as good as rugby. Just give it time.

InchicoreDude

Newstalk's Off the Ball had a really interesting interview with Richard Sadlier about his enforced early retirement. while his situation may be slightly different [He did have some time as a pro football player], he basically described the same feelings in your post. They played the interview last week, so may be up online somewhere. I think it would be worthwhile for you to listen to.