How can I get back to feeling happy again?

LegacyUser

Hi all,
Just would like some advice, I'm a 23 year old guy in my 4th and final year of college, for the past 6 months I have been feeling considerably down about things and having some days where I feel really depressed about everything I have had two panic attacks last year but I can control them.

The two main things that have got me down in recent months are;

1) my love life, i was with a girl in my class for a while on and off having fun you know the score but it just fizzled out, I think she was just playing me along and I fell for her badly, trying to get over her at the moment is proving very difficult especially when she in my lectures and I see her regularly (Often giving me mixed signals). My confident has shot to the ground as a result and I hardly look at other woman. People in class say I seem to look sad but I try blow them off and laugh but it doesn't always work.

2) I still live at home and college is over in a matter of a few weeks. Over the past year I lost one friend due to a fall out we had during the summer. Nearly all my main close friends have emigrated to Canada and New Zealand, so my social life has virtually disappeared, I used to go out nearly every Saturday night in my local town with the "lads" as I call them but they all away now. I don't feel comfortable walking down to the nightclub or pub on my own. My life at the moment is just dull and I having nothing to excite me anymore other then a gym membership which keeps me somewhat from going crazy at home. I am a only child and was shy when I was younger, I'm going to college lately not to learn but just to hang out with my college mates talk and that puts me in good form but when I hear their plans they have with their own mates, it makes me think of my own life in where I just go home every evening and watch the news and a soccer match. I find myself thinking when college ends there will be a big void in my life.

I have no trouble admitting that a lot of this is my own fault I need to be more outgoing and get out there and shouldn't be drowning myself in my own self-pity. But just I haven't talked to anyone else about this, I do a good job covering it up and don't get me wrong I do have the laugh in college its just when I go home or at the weekend my mind just brings be to dark places I guess. My parents just wouldn't understand although they sense I'm not myself lately they just say "You will be grand, everything will work out".

Has anyone else gone through something similar?
Is the light at the end of the tunnel for me?

hairyprincess

It might be no harm that you have a quiet social life at the moment, as you said you are nearing your final year of college so presumably you have a lot of exams in the next few months.
What are your plans for the when you have graduated? Why not consider hooking up with those friends who have gone away?
I think it's easy to fall into a rut of your own, the things is, you need to be able to pull yourself out of it. Keep going to the gym, ask your college mates if you can tag along with them to the pub. It would be no harm to have a chat with your GP too.
Best of luck

reap-a-rat

It must be hard hearing your college buddies talking about their plans and I'd feel awkward inviting myself, but maybe sometime you should mention to a few that you felt like going for a few drinks and ask them straight out to come along? Having the craic in college and having the craic in a social setting can really improve relationships within a class, I know my own class have bonded greatly this year after a few class parties were thrown and even just hanging out after exams.

Also, would you be able to go to gigs etc? Nobody bats an eyelid at somebody going to a gig alone and it's less awkward than going down to the local for a few on your lonesome because everyone is there for the music/comedy whatever, not gawking at some young fella who's out on his own. I found it hard at first to go alone to things I wanted to go to but had nobody to go with, but as soon as you're there it's easy to strike up conversations with others who are there alone, even chatting to bar people. I'd consider myself very shy but with a bit of effort and some common ground you'd be amazed how easily you'll make new friends!

Best of luck with everything, and don't let your feelings affect your exam performance Chin up!