He treated me like dirt, I harassed him, have huge feelings of guilt and am sorry

LegacyUser

I was with a man recently and although it was only brief between us it had a huge impact on me.

He turned out to be a liar with empty promises. More lies (excuses) were issued to cover up his previous lies. And he wanted me to believe them. But never did he put his money where his mouth was. Not even when he wanted me back.

I took this personally and viewed it as an insult in that all I was worth were lies.

All his lies led to a head wreck. I held out hope that he wasn't lying and he'd put his money where his mouth was and follow through with some actions. This hope drove me insane. There was nothing.

With that I fell into a downwards spiral and harassed the man with rotten messages and emails galore. I was nasty and disgusting towards this man.

Despite what he did, and despite I got a lucky escape from him and want nothing to do with him I am filled with deep regret for my actions and words.

Write it down in a notebook or journal and don't send it to him

he won't want anything from you, opening up contact with him will only bring misery and if he doesn't reply, you'll be left hanging and wondering and it will impede any further progress

just write it down, burn it, and then move on

curlzy

Hey OP,

You both sound as bad as each other. He treated you like dirt, you allowed him to treat you like dirt and then acted like a psycho when it ended. I agree with Bluewolf, write it all down and get it off your chest. Do not under any circumstances contact him again, if you do you'll be holding your face out to be slapped. So write it all out and burn it, then going forward never ever allow anyone to treat you like that again. Listen to your own good sense and if your b*ll**** detector goes off for Christ's sakes listen to it and don't "hold out hope he's not lying" again.

Best of luck.

hondasam

Hi OP
I think you all ready posted this in After hours, I'm saying the same thing now I said then he sounds like a sociopath and you are well rid of him.
Move on and learn from the mistake.

Emme

Don't waste any more emotion on this man, he has wasted enough of your time as it is. You're well rid. You were upset, you sent him a few angry messages but they were probably water off a ducks back to him and I'm sure you're not the first to do it and you won't be the last.

His behaviour isn't a reflection of what you are worth, it's a reflection of what a selfish liar he is. Don't waste any more time on him. Move on.

The best way to get over one man is to get under another ASAP

Chinafoot

bluewolf wrote: »

Write it down in a notebook or journal and don't send it to him

he won't want anything from you, opening up contact with him will only bring misery and if he doesn't reply, you'll be left hanging and wondering and it will impede any further progress

just write it down, burn it, and then move on

Couldn't agree more.

Get everything out of your head and onto a page, then burn it and let go.

The positive that you can take from this is the fact that you have recognised your unreasonable behaviour and you can learn from it.
If you repeat this behaviour perhaps you could consider speaking to someone to try to understand why you are reacting in this way.

Best of luck OP.

jellygems

like the others have siad write it on a page or email or something

dont send it and move on

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

Sunflower, you are an absolute gem here. Thank you.

Despite the pig he is, I was feeling rotten for my behaviour and very ashamed. Your response Sunflower lifted me in that I know that there's another who spoke and told some harsh truths, although you would be correct not to the degree I went to. I doubt anybody could have been as crazy and as harsh as me. I was bad. Very bad.

Just yesterday I was told a story from a friend. Her husband wronged on a group of people and these people are lovely (an honest mistake on his part whereas with mine it was done purposely to annoy and demean me) and they turned batsh1t crazy with nasty messages that went on throughout a weekend (although they were drunk, and me with suspected depression). The story lifted me hugely. They have since all made up and apologised. :-)

I'm worried about how I'm going to be perceived by people but do you what my behaviour was a result of being treated badly. Here I am riddled with guilt and that man doesn't even have a conscience and is probably proud of lying carelessly for his own twisted satisfaction.

Will do that thing with the apology letter and not send it.

dellas1979

You let him know what you thought of him (albeit from what you are saying it was in an agressive extremely angry way) but you felt wronged and a reaction was immenent - what he does with what you said to him is up to him.

As sunflower said learn from this, and next time you are wronged (unfortunately there will always be a next time-such is life eh), remember what you learned from this.

There is nothing you can do now to change what happened, and if you are worried what people think of you, dont. The most important person who'll judge what you think and did is you, and youve learned your lesson here. So screw what the gossipers say-they'll be on to talking about something else next week.

LegacyUser

Op here.

I just wanted to say thank you all very much for helping me some what come to terms with this. I wrote the letter and it helped a bit.

I hope to take the next step forward and start going out again. This I think and feel might bring some challenges in it will be my first time out socializing since this mess and no doubt I'll probably be quizzed but do you know what? I don't care any more. I was very patient with that man for some time until I learnt he was feeding me a packful of lies, stringing me along to mess and fcuk with my mind for god only knows what reason. In time I became very thick, very mean and very, very crazy to him. But I don't care anymore. If anyone bothers me I would love to see them explain what they think of lies as a form of communication and control.