Some lad in work just shat on the toilet seat...

Jayo11780

Holy ****, some dirty f****r just left a skid of sh1t on the back of the toilet seat this morning, it's now dried in and there are a few curly hairs sticking up out of it... Dirty bastard.
What kind of holes do some lads have?

Unreal the amount of animals out there... Now I'm bursting and looks like i'll have to use the ladies!
Hopefully the foreign cleaners will have it polished off for tomorrow!

William_Hicley

The phantom Sh*tter strikes again!

RoyalMarine

maybe it was the "foreign" cleaners.....

seriously, you a racist or something?

micropig

Jayo11780 wrote: »

Holy ****, some dirty f****r just left a skid of sh1t on the back of the toilet seat this morning, it's now dried in and there are a few curly hairs sticking up out of it... Dirty bastard.
What kind of holes do some lads have?

Unreal the amount of animals out there... Now I'm bursting and looks like i'll have to use the ladies!
Hopefully the foreign cleaners will have it polished off for tomorrow!

Right, ok.....:(


Did this really happen or are you full of sh1t?:D


Maybe it's chocolate?

Seachmall

Pick it up in a baggie and leave it on his desk with a note reading "You left this in the bathroom, I assumed you wanted to keep it as you didn't dispose of it."

BluesBerry

Investigate who did it and then rub his nose in it

danniemcq

makes a change, its usually the womens loos that are the biggest mess.

what with most women hovering over the bowl for fear of catchin the aids

tmc86

This thread stinks

grizzly

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94699120 :pac:

thebigbiffo

thanks for sharing OP.

i stepped in dog **** this morning. was looking for the right forum to stick it up on, now i know.

Run_to_da_hills

If you knew who the culprit was you could scrape it off with a knife open his lunchbox and spread it on his sandwiches.

micropig

RoyalMarine wrote: »

maybe it was the "foreign" cleaners.....

seriously, you a racist or something?

Maybe the foreign cleaner melted a little from all the hard work??:D

Sergeant

Ring your union rep. People shouldn't have to work in such conditions. Have a dirty protest if they don't make progress on finding out who did it, and why your employer didn't get it cleaned immediately.

micropig

Sergeant wrote: »

Ring your union rep. People shouldn't have to work in such conditions. Have a dirty protest if they don't make progress on finding out who did it, and why your employer didn't get it cleaned immediately.

That's just sh1t stirring:D

rgmmg

Jayo11780 wrote: »

Holy ****, some dirty f****r just left a skid of sh1t on the back of the toilet seat this morning, it's now dried in and there are a few curly hairs sticking up out of it... Dirty bastard.
What kind of holes do some lads have?

Unreal the amount of animals out there... Now I'm bursting and looks like i'll have to use the ladies!
Hopefully the foreign cleaners will have it polished off for tomorrow!

Those curly hairs weren't there initially. I must have left them when I was lapping directly from the toilet.

Stiffler2

We must work in the same place.
Sorry about that....

Il Trap

micropig wrote: »

Maybe the foreign cleaner melted a little from all the hard work??:D

Stiffler2

Jayo11780 wrote: »

Holy ****, some dirty f****r just left a skid of sh1t on the back of the toilet seat this morning, it's now dried in and there are a few curly hairs sticking up out of it... Dirty bastard.
What kind of holes do some lads have?

Unreal the amount of animals out there... Now I'm bursting and looks like i'll have to use the ladies!
Hopefully the foreign cleaners will have it polished off for tomorrow!

I'm going to try and answer the above statement but need to ask you a bunch of questions first, and I want them answered immediately :

What kind of viscosity was the poo ?
was it runny, squidgy, solid or uniform ?

Did it have any lumps in it ?
peas, that yellow $hit -what's it called

What colour was it ?
Was it brown, deep brown, maghony brown or was it more of a yellow / greeny hue off it ?

Finally the smell :
Was it pungent ? serious, or explosive ?

Once I get the questions above answered I should be able to determine what kind of hole they were working with at that given time.

uch

Taste it, it might be nutella

Doyler92

Rumour has it he doesn't even work there.

JohnMarston

Some people lose all sense of common decency as soon as step into a bathroom other than their own.

TheVoodoo

There's a fellah in the building I work in who pisses on the seat / floor and doesn't flush his sh*t every Friday. It's obviously his last chance to something like this before he goes home to the ball and chain. ( not that i'd want to sh*t on my own toilet seat at home, but it's like an act of rebellion )

I_smell_fear

micropig wrote: »

Maybe it's chocolate?

Not falling for that one again!

Stiffler2

JohnMarston wrote: »

Some people lose all sense of common decency as soon as step into a bathroom other than their own.

Probably the same reason why I leave snots above the urinals in work.
Because it's hilarious, then threads get started etc etc.....

admiralofthefleet

someone must have been trying to 'topdeck' and slipped

Kurz

This is one of the rare occasions where "blast it with p1ss" may actually be a helpful solution.

lastlaugh

Curly hairs in a piece of sh!t on the toilet seat?

Sounds like a Troll is at work in your toilet.

Duggy747

Lick it

Baneblade

i have had some similar experiences
one day it looked like they were practicing their plastering technique on the stall wall
getting to the stage where you need a biohazard suit just to take a piss

the_syco

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

If you knew who the culprit was you could scrape it off with a knife open his lunchbox and spread it on his sandwiches.

And be done for poisoning :pac:

ejmaztec

This thread must be where the big sh1ts hang out.

fando

Jayo11780 wrote: »

Holy ****, some dirty f****r just left a skid of sh1t on the back of the toilet seat this morning, it's now dried in and there are a few curly hairs sticking up out of it... Dirty bastard.
What kind of holes do some lads have?

Unreal the amount of animals out there... Now I'm bursting and looks like i'll have to use the ladies!
Hopefully the foreign cleaners will have it polished off for tomorrow!

This thread illustrates excellently what is happening to boards.ie lately...

Funglegunk

There were two lads that used to work in my office, and I think light was refracting in the bathrooms they used to leave such a stench. The air was shimmering, and the paint was peeling off the walls. Mizzoni pizza nearly every night, those two.

Casillas

I feel sorry for the cleaners, $hit job, $hit pay.

Kev_2012

Blast it with shit

CrazyRabbit

Don't they have cctv camera's in the cubicles like where I work?

Latchy

/ Looks at OP's location

Case Closed !

Mickey H

Jayo11780 wrote: »

Holy ****, some dirty f****r just left a skid of sh1t on the back of the toilet seat this morning, it's now dried in and there are a few curly hairs sticking up out of it... Dirty bastard.

These might help.

biko

That's today's facebook/blog update right there OP.