moving away - coping strategies

LegacyUser

I can't find work here in Ireland and I've been given an opportunity to move to another country for a job in June. This is a great chance to do something really challenging, get paid and actually do something with my life other than spend day after day searching for jobs and getting nowhere. It would be for 3 years and the country is very, very far away and about as different culturally from here as you could imagine.
I will, however, have to leave my family and friends who I am close to and who I rely on for support. Contact with people in terms of skype etc may not always be possible and visits etc even less so.
How can I overcome the fear of leaving? I'm literally counting down the days dreading going and nearly making myself ill! I'm a 28 year old woman and I shouldn't be behaving like a homesick teenager, but I'm going out of my mind...
I've never spent much time away from home before bar a month or two here and there.
Has anyone been in this situation? How did you cope?

LegacyUser

I'm lucky in that I only moved to Europe..so culturally and distance wise it wasn't too big of a move. like you, I couldn't find work at home. I had a very tenous offer of work that never came through in the end.

My coping strategy was that I told myself that if I get an apartment, I'd stay and look for work. I would give it a month..if I got a job, I would stay and try for another two maybe three months.....little by little those months rolled on and two years later I'm still here and haven't regretted the move. Just take it day by day, at the moment you're overwhelmed with it all - ur seeing it as this big commitment and life change. You have to try switch it off, stop thinking about it and just ignore it until the day or two before. Pretend to yourself that you're only going over for a short while, maybe a month max, but keep in mind that you will probably need a few (4-6 mths) to truely know whether you like the place.

Keep enough money for a flight home in the bank and you'll always have that 'out' clause. Best of luck, don't be stressing so much, you can always come home if you have to....but think about it, you've really nothing to lose, you're single, there's no work here and you've got a great opportunity so grab it.

beks101

Immerse yourself in your life abroad. Throw yourself into the work, if it's possible try to make friends at work and never refuse a night out or chance to socialise and meet new people.

If you have hobbies, EG sports, gym, music, art, reading etc...suss out the opportunities to take them up in your new country and dive right in. Take the time to explore the place, read up about it before you get there, take group trips away, visit all the historical sites, take the time to amble around the city and explore it for yourself.

Once you have a work schedule and an idea of how your typical week will be, figure out the time difference with your folks and friends and try to set a few times for skype/phone calls/gchats every week. And stick to it. But honestly, to survive and live a happy life abroad you really need to make the effort to set yourself up there and not be living for the skype dates, emotionally removed for the place because you're pining for home. You need to be self-sufficient and not allow the loneliness to seep in by surrounding yourself with a new network of friends and experiences.

As it's so far away, book a trip home as soon as it's possible so that you never feel like you're alone on the other side of the world indefinitely.

But don't hold back on account of being so far away from family and friends and everything you know. This is an amazing experience for you! You will learn and grow infinitely as a person as a result of this, but you are going to have to go with the right attitude - not seeing it as some necessary evil that is being inflicted as you because it's your only chance of getting work. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. Enjoy

Herrick

unregistered wrote: »

I'm literally counting down the days dreading going and nearly making myself ill!

OP, are you sure you actually want to go?

Maybe its just me, but it kind of sounds like your going simply because theres a job there, but will end up miserable being so far away from family and friends. Considering you've said your very close to them and it will hard to arrange visits or even Skype calls.

I know lots of people have to move away these days for work reasons, but if I had to move half way around the world and thought it would make me unhappy, I wouldn't do it. As bad as the economy is, no job is worth upsetting yourself over. Then again, I'm a bit of a home bird.

I'm not trying to put you off, just a thought.

Waestrel

I am in a simialr situation, i am in Dublin, no job, but a great life, great friends, and never a night sitting at home with nothing to do.

I have the very real possibility of a job in New Zealand, literally the opportunity of a lifetime for me. Obviously it is a long way away and I know no one there. I hope I am not overcome with nostalgia fr my life back in Ireland as it is a long way to go to be unhappy. That said I am not a home bird, and have been abroad before.

Has anyone lived in Christchurch New zealand?

boobar

beks101 wrote: »

Immerse yourself in your life abroad. Throw yourself into the work, if it's possible try to make friends at work and never refuse a night out or chance to socialise and meet new people.

If you have hobbies, EG sports, gym, music, art, reading etc...suss out the opportunities to take them up in your new country and dive right in. Take the time to explore the place, read up about it before you get there, take group trips away, visit all the historical sites, take the time to amble around the city and explore it for yourself.

Once you have a work schedule and an idea of how your typical week will be, figure out the time difference with your folks and friends and try to set a few times for skype/phone calls/gchats every week. And stick to it. But honestly, to survive and live a happy life abroad you really need to make the effort to set yourself up there and not be living for the skype dates, emotionally removed for the place because you're pining for home. You need to be self-sufficient and not allow the loneliness to seep in by surrounding yourself with a new network of friends and experiences.

As it's so far away, book a trip home as soon as it's possible so that you never feel like you're alone on the other side of the world indefinitely.

But don't hold back on account of being so far away from family and friends and everything you know. This is an amazing experience for you! You will learn and grow infinitely as a person as a result of this, but you are going to have to go with the right attitude - not seeing it as some necessary evil that is being inflicted as you because it's your only chance of getting work. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. Enjoy

Great advice, I have to say.

I'd echo the aadvice on throwing yourself into your work. Use it as an opportunity to develop and enhance skills.

Also, many people might like to visit you from home. You know there's not much money floating around here so an invite from you where they have free board might be very attractive. Plus you get to catch up with friends and family.

Always have something to look forward to as well. You're moving to work so make sure you enjoy spending your wages on stuff that you love. Could be something as simple as a new album or book.

Miss Fluff

Moved to the UK on my own at 19 for Uni although I don't really count that as abroad. Moved to the Far East on my own back in 2007 and it was a wonderful experience. I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't challenging but life is what you make it. Everyone thought I was crazy or very brave or a bit of both but it resulted in a lot of really amazing experiences. It was scary and exciting, nobody spoke English and for the first little while I was thinking what have I done?!!!

Throw yourself into new experiences and accept invitations. Where I went there was a very active GAA scene which I avoided like the plague because it's really not my scene and I didn't move four thousand miles to hang around with Gobnait and her crew of hairy palmed yokels from Ballygobackwards to talk about "the creck"...:eek: I did make lots of local friends who I will cherish for life though.

Keep in touch with your friends and family back home, IM and Skype are your friends!

I'm so intrigued to know where you are going!!