Devastated Advice Please

LegacyUser

Hi,

Basically my ex and I broke up about two weeks ago. While it was a mutual decision it was still really difficult for both of us I thought. However I was out last night and saw that he has a new girlfriend on the go. Am crushed by this. I was trying so hard to move on and the thought of being with some new at this stage turns my stomach. Am so hurt that he moved on so fast. Does that mean that he never had any feelings for me the fact that he can replace me so quickly? I wish I could do this but I can't. This has set me back so much. I kind of thought he would miss me and maybe take time to get over me but he looked like he hadn't a care in the world with his new girl. Anyone else been through this?
Do a lot of men move on in this way?

I am a friend

devasted wrote: »

Do a lot of men move on in this way?

Op sorry to hear you are hurting...

Generalisation ahead: Yep a lot of men do move on this like... Men tend to be more active after a relationship and move on by starting a new relationship whereas a lot of women become more reflective at the end of a relationship and think through what went wrong before they embark on a new relationship...

Doesnt make it easier though...

cynder

The only thing for you to do is move on.


Forget about your ex, this will drive you insane for a while, it will hurt for a couple of months or so (or until you move on). It will get better with time, but thinking about him and the new fling will drive you mad.

Have a few girly nights out, try to avoid places that he may be (for the next couple of weeks only, not for the rest of your life) seeing him with another girl is going to hurt big time, and your sense of curiosity will draw you to the places that he is going to be, dont it will only hurt more. You will be tempted to dress up and show him what his missing, but dont dress up to show him what his missing, dress up to show him you have moved on and dont care what he does (even though you do). Dress up to make 'you' feel good and sexy and desirable. You dont have to go with another guy, best thing to do is wait until your over your ex before you go with someone else. But you can dance with one and have fun while your out instead of thinking what your ex is up to.

good luck...

Flange/Flanders

hi op. I can feel your pain, its an awful experience, been there before. It could be a lot of things, he might have really liked you but also really like her and its just unfortunate that the 2 women came so close in timing, he might be using her as a rebound and be single in a few weeks time or he just might not have been as emotionally invested as you were in the relationship. None of us can answer. The only thing we can say to you is cut all contact. Delete messages, unfriend on facebook and if possible try to go places that you think he Will not be. Talk it over with friends, write a diary, take up a new sport whatever. Just keep yourself busy. You said yourself that it was mutual. Time Will be the healer. I was in a similar situation 12 months ago, got left for another fella. I had a really tough few months. Now she's single again and I couldn't care less! Time Will make you better and stronger for this.

blatantrereg

devasted wrote: »

Hi,

Basically my ex and I broke up about two weeks ago. While it was a mutual decision it was still really difficult for both of us I thought. However I was out last night and saw that he has a new girlfriend on the go. Am crushed by this. I was trying so hard to move on and the thought of being with some new at this stage turns my stomach. Am so hurt that he moved on so fast. Does that mean that he never had any feelings for me the fact that he can replace me so quickly? I wish I could do this but I can't. This has set me back so much. I kind of thought he would miss me and maybe take time to get over me but he looked like he hadn't a care in the world with his new girl. Anyone else been through this?
Do a lot of men move on in this way?

A lot of people of both sexes get into rebound relationships. That might be the case here. Doesn't prove that he had/has no feelings for you. I wouldn't think of it in terms of being replaced either.

Neyite

I've known a lot of people who are happy to plod along in a stale relationship but when someone else comes along that they find themselves attracted to it gives them the incentive to end things with the current partner and move on to the next. Kinda like a monkey not letting go of one vine until the next is within reach.

It hurts when people move on so quick, but your best strategy is to avoid contact with him, avoid the usual places you went with him - surround yourself with friends and enjoy girlie nights out. It's a cliche, but time does heal.

Lorna123

I doesnt mean because he is dating someone else that he prefers the new girl to you, it just means that he keeping himself occupied while getting over you. Best thing you can do is keep occupied too. It does take time to get over someone you liked but you will.

Missy Moo Moo

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear that, I know it hurts

I wouldn't take it personally though- some people handle break ups differently- Some people can't bear to be with anyone til they're fully over their ex. Others get back on the horse straightaway, so to speak.

Hate to say it though, but rebounds rarely work out. Keep yourself busy and worry about yourself, but like I said, don't take it personally, I'm 100% certain its not