Grandparents annoyed about naming child

LegacyUser

We are giving our child a double barrell surname. This is a mutual decision and we are happy with it. We didn't want to discuss it with either set of our parents as its not something for them to decide, its our family, child and decision.

My husband's father brought up how he was hoping for a boy to 'carry on the family name'. This was said in a jokey fashion but as my husband is the only son he was not being just jokey. He's a difficult man to deal with at the best of times but when I said our child will have both our names he started out by mocking the idea, then started saying how a child shouldn't be burdened with two names, and finally asked why we hadn't taken his family name into account.

How can we tackle this? My husband is quite good at standing up to his father and has gotten much better at it in recent times but his father is now referring to 'baby hissurname' and we got a card from him and my mother in law addressed to 'Mr and Mrs Hisname' even though they now I have not and have no intention of changing my name.

Beruthiel

I would suggest you just ignore them and carry on as usual.
They will either get used to it or see that their behaviour is having no effect.
In the grand scheme of things, their opinion on this really means nothing.

username123

Let the father in law refer to the child whatever way he likes - who cares? Legally and officially you will be registering and using the name you have chosen, thats all there is to it. Nothing the father in law does or says will change your childs name, so just ignore him.

If he brings it up again just tell him its none of his concern how you name your child.

Jerry Jordan

Its just an old fashioned tradition, im sure he is just set in his ways. ignore him. Let him address letters mr an mrs x, its no biggy. legally you know ur name.
im married i took my husbands name but thats my choice. I dont think im right and your wrong. I am pregnant and im actually proud and looking forward to if its a boy naming it after my husbands father first name and last name. His a lovely man and old fashioned and i know he would be so touched. as he has no grandsons with his name. The one grandson he has , has got a double barrelled name. My father in law never passed comment though although some of the family talked amoingst themselves and felt sorry for him.

username123

Jerry Jordan wrote: »

My father in law never passed comment though although some of the family talked amoingst themselves and felt sorry for him.

Felt sorry for the father in law? But sure if a daughter married and had children chances are the family name wont be passed on anyway so I cant see how its something to feel sorry for a person for

Jerry Jordan

username123 wrote: »

Felt sorry for the father in law? But sure if a daughter married and had children chances are the family name wont be passed on anyway so I cant see how its something to feel sorry for a person for

I didnt feel sorry for him myself. But some of the other sons and daughters were a bit catty behind the backs of the new daughter in law who gave the first grandson the double barrelled name. (The name is awful tho) I took up for her. Even though im very easy going myself and my husband asked me if we ever had a boy could he name the boy after his dad. I could see it meant alot to my husband so im happy to go along with it. Its the only chance my husband will ever have to say Dad i love you, without actually saying the words. They arnt the type of son and father who bond much with hugs! strong country silent types.

strandroad

But if the child has a double barrelled name than his name does get passed on... it just doesn't get passed on exclusively. Is that what he has an issue with? That's just mean.

Let him do whatever he wants, just continue using your chosen names and that's it. He's very childish to play these little games to annoy you.

Killed By Death

Totally ignore him. The child will be called what you decide and there is nothing he can do about it bar huff and puff like an idiot !

Sleepy

Double-barrel names are quite contentious. Most people regard them as being a pretentious sign of someone nakedly socially aspirational. Personally, I'd consider it akin to Hyacinth Bucket behaviour. Your father in law is probably the same and sees ye making a mock of his grandchild. You're not likely to change his opinion on this so if you've no intentions of changing your plans on the issue, you're just going to have to tough it out.

strandroad

Sleepy wrote: »

Double-barrel names are quite contentious. Most people regard them as being a pretentious sign of someone nakedly socially aspirational. Personally, I'd consider it akin to Hyacinth Bucket behaviour. Your father in law is probably the same and sees ye making a mock of his grandchild. You're not likely to change his opinion on this so if you've no intentions of changing your plans on the issue, you're just going to have to tough it out.

Really? I'd say that a lot of people see double names as recognition of mother's lineage which used to be ignored.

If you think her father in law has issues with double-barrel pretentiousness, she may suggest the child will bear her name alone and see how he likes it.

WhyGoBald

Sleepy wrote: »

Double-barrel names are quite contentious. Most people regard them as being a pretentious sign of someone nakedly socially aspirational. Personally, I'd consider it akin to Hyacinth Bucket behaviour. Your father in law is probably the same and sees ye making a mock of his grandchild. You're not likely to change his opinion on this so if you've no intentions of changing your plans on the issue, you're just going to have to tough it out.

Really, so the Sheehy Skeffingtons were behaving in the manner of a television character? They were no more mocking their child than the OP is, or anyone who wants both sides of the child's family recognised, and definitely didn't give a damn about rising in society!

I know if I had my mother's name as well as my father's I would be very proud of it.

It would be different if the grandfather disapproved of the child's first name and insisted on using that, but luckily he has no real power here, and can safely be ignored, I think.

username123

mhge wrote: »

If you think her father in law has issues with double-barrel pretentiousness, she may suggest the child will bear her name alone and see how he likes it.

Exactly. Its not his business to like or dislike the decision made, its his business to be a nice grandad and thats it.

LegacyUser

Double-barrel names are pretentious, in a country where there is no tradition of carrying the mother's name. The surname is normally handed down the male lineage, except , in recent times, where there may not be a father in the relationship, or where the parents are not married.

In this case the grandparents should not be derided for wanting to follow tradition.

(Doe the mother of the child not realise it's her father's/grandfather's name she is advocating to be part of the baby's surname(s)?)


As to why someone would want to land the child with a double-barrelled name? That's for the parents to justify. Personally I think it's ridiculous, but each to their own.

DazMarz

My opinion is that the parents of a child can call their child whatever they want!

My best friend has a double-barrelled surname. His family are in no way pretentious or aspiring to status, they just chose it that way, as far as I know. It does make him sound, as a mutual friend put it one time, like a "... posh, Protestant knob...":P. I laughed so hard at that one...

My friend is anything but posh, and I find it hysterical how much a toff his name makes him sound! But he's real defensive about people using 'both his names' and likes being referred to by his 'full' name. Dunno why!

But the point is, that double-barrelled surnames might sound pretentious, but they are usually not! They are a way of passing on a name that might otherwise not get passed on. Once you're not sadistic, OP... and you don't give your kid a truly posh name like Corneilius, Sebastian, et al... then you'll be alright!:)

Ickle Magoo

Ignore him OP - when you have kids you find suddenly every man and his dog thinks their opinion on names, schools, whatever, is of utmost importance and of course - totally right. :pac:

I've heard people with some truly awful names argue against what I thought sounded like a nice double-barrelled name so it just goes to show you - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. At the end of the day it's nobody's business but yours and your husbands so if he starts up just nod and smile and accept some people, due to age or whatever, are more likely to have archaic and parochial views on things.

All the best. :cool:

Big Bag of Chips

If you register the child as double barrelled, but without the "-" it allows for one or other or both to be used.

If you put in the "-", then that's the child's surname.

Eg John Smith Murphy, can also be John Smith, or John Murphy.

John Smith-Murphy will always be John Smith-Murphy!

Don't know why I posted that really! It may or may not be useful to you OP!

I am a friend

Well i actually think its no ones business but yours but seeing as you have posted the issue on this forum, ill throw in my 2 cent...

we had to think about this lately... My only sibling died last year with no kids and on this basis, given that my father has NO other family, the name would die out upon his passing. We had a baby this year and i registered his name as e.g. Murphy Jones and not murphy-jones as i dont want him to have a double barrel name but I do want our family name to live on. While he has legally both names we will be using his fathers name day to day. Also, when he is older, he can choose if he wants to use both or stick with the one surname.

For one, i do think very few names suit double barrel. As well as that i do think its pretentious or at least aims at being plus i think you will be his mother whether he has your name or not.

we dont have a society here, like spain where they carry on the fathers name but take the mothers name each generation. In this regard what happens if your baby 'Johnny jones-Smith' meets Mary Murphy-Byrne in 20 years time.. what will their kid be called? Paddy Murphy-Byrne Jones-Smith????? Where does it end?

looksee

Its your choice OP, just carry on and let objections go over your heads.

Just as a matter of interest though, I have had several double-barrelled name students at various times, and in, as I remember, every case, they have been registered with their db name, but have asked to be referred to by just one of them.

ted1

personally i'm not a fan of them. what happens we he/she have their own children, do you expect them to have a triple or quadruple name?

Chinafoot

ted1 wrote: »

personally i'm not a fan of them. what happens we he/she have their own children, do you expect them to have a triple or quadruple name?

I'd imagine the OP will expect them to do whatever they want to do when it comes to their own children's names.

OP, ignore them. Yourself and your partner want to go double-barrelled and it is entirely your decision. Ignore the ridiculous comments regarding pretension too. It is for nobody here to judge.

I am a friend

Chinafoot wrote: »

Ignore the ridiculous comments regarding pretension too. It is for nobody here to judge.

People are entitled to their opinion. I think it's pretentious and am entitled to, just as you are entitled to disagree

Princess Peach

I am a friend wrote: »

People are entitled to their opinion. I think it's pretentious and am entitled to, just as you are entitled to disagree

The OP didn't come here looking for opinions on double barreled names, she came asking how to deal with her father in law. If people want to have a debate about it, this is not the forum.

The good advice has already been given as to ignore the grandfather. Depending on what kind of relationship you have with him you could talk to him about it and tell him you don't like it, or ask your husband to. But it is possibly causing tension for no big deal. You will know yourself if you are better off just letting the grandfather call the baby the surname or if you feel it is important to talk to him, and it would have a good outcome.

Chinafoot

I am a friend wrote: »

People are entitled to their opinion. I think it's pretentious and am entitled to, just as you are entitled to disagree

Princess Peach wrote: »

The OP didn't come here looking for opinions on double barreled names, she came asking how to deal with her father in law. If people want to have a debate about it, this is not the forum.

Exactly. What use is telling the OP you find double barrelled names pretentious? Herself and her partner have decided that this is what they want to do so your opinion (and mine) on it is irrelevant. I didn't make any comment on what I personally think of double-barrelled names because it doesn't matter what I think.

She wants help with her father-in-law who is being disrespectful and undermining.

OP, you said in first post

We are giving our child a double barrell surname. This is a mutual decision and we are happy with it. We didn't want to discuss it with either set of our parents as its not something for them to decide, its our family, child and decision.

This is all that matters in this scenario. I appreciate that it must be very difficult to have to listen to this man try to undermine your decision but I really think standing your ground and ignoring him is the way to go. Perhaps your partner could speak to his father and tell him that his comments are not appreciated?

Meller

looksee wrote: »

Just as a matter of interest though, I have had several double-barrelled name students at various times, and in, as I remember, every case, they have been registered with their db name, but have asked to be referred to by just one of them.

Yes, but those people were able to choose which name they wanted as opposed to some archaic, blatantly sexist tradition deciding for them.

OP, I find it more rude that he was referring to you by his name. Your name is a big part of your identity, it's incredibly disrespectful and presumptuous of him to just ignore your decision on the matter. I wouldn't bother trying to appease him in any way; he's being downright rude.

This stuff about it being pretentious is beyond ridiculous - how is not adhering to the traditions of your country 'pretentious' if you disagree with them? :rolleyes: Is it pretentious for an Irish person to say they're not Catholic? Absolutely crazy.

LegacyUser

OP here, cheers for all the replies.

I'm p!ssed off about the clear signal he and his wife sent with the card referring to me as Mrs. I'm also annoyed that he seems to think he has any say in this. My husband has told him its our decision and not open to discussion but he still needles away at him, making comments like I'm wearing the trousers, silly little old fashioned and sexist remarks that if he is called on says he's just having the banter.
I am just so annoyed that he'll address this and future children by a name that is not theirs. I mean, if we called the child John he wouldn't see fit to call him David just because he preferred the name. And people would think he was mad for doing that, but it seems a surname is a different kettle of fish.

I don't see how we're being pretentious with a double barrel name. What's pretentious about us wanting to have both our family names for our child? Very confused about that view and we would question the mentality of people who would think we have delusions of grandeur just because of the surname our child has.

username123

ohdearme wrote: »

I'm p!ssed off about the clear signal he and his wife sent with the card referring to me as Mrs.

Why didnt you address it to himself and the wife? I dont personally feel strongly about names, but if I did and my in laws used the wrong name, Id say it to them. Id tell them that I consider it offensive and insulting for them to use a name that isnt mine to refer to me and to please use my correct name for the future. Afterwards Id ignore them if they verbally referred to me by the wrong name, and Id return post addressed to the wrong name with a 'not known at this address'.

On the FIL needling away, Id either have a full blown row with him about his passive aggression where Id loudly state my case or Id treat him like a simpleton every time he made a remark like that and say things to him slowly like 'Thats a very sexist thing to say, its not nice to say things like that' with a bit of a tsk tsk, and a sigh like you have a hard time dealing with this eejit.

cynder

Just a thought what would you like your sons kids surnames to be?

Prehaps he will go for the double - double barrelled name,

john doe doe 'marrys' jane doe doe and then the child is john doe-doe doe -doe and he in turn 'marrys' jane doe-doe doe-doe and then the name of there child is

jane doe-doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe-doe.... the mind boggles.... your great-great grandchild could end up with a really really long surname.


I personally think its nice for a child to carry their dads surname, but at the end of the day its the moms and dads choice.

Good luck

Chinafoot

grindelwald wrote: »

Just a thought what would you like your sons kids surnames to be?

Prehaps he will go for the double - double barrelled name,

john doe doe 'marrys' jane doe doe and then the child is john doe-doe doe -doe and he in turn 'marrys' jane doe-doe doe-doe and then the name of there child is

jane doe-doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe-doe.... the mind boggles.... your great-great grandchild could end up with a really really long surname.

Just as the OP has the right to go with whatever surname her and her partner deem appropriate, her son and any further children will have the same right. Given that the OP is here because her father-in-law is taking issue with their decision she's hardly likely to take the same approach with her own grandchildren.

The "where does it end" argument is such nonsense.

cynder

Chinafoot wrote: »

Just as the OP has the right to go with whatever surname her and her partner deem appropriate, her son and any further children will have the same right. Given that the OP is here because her father-in-law is taking issue with their decision she's hardly likely to take the same approach with her own grandchildren.
.

Did you not bother reading the rest of what i said?

Meller

grindelwald wrote: »

Just a thought what would you like your sons kids surnames to be?

Prehaps he will go for the double - double barrelled name,

john doe doe 'marrys' jane doe doe and then the child is john doe-doe doe -doe and he in turn 'marrys' jane doe-doe doe-doe and then the name of there child is

jane doe-doe-doe-doe doe-doe-doe-doe.... the mind boggles.... your great-great grandchild could end up with a really really long surname.


I personally think its nice for a child to carry their dads surname, but at the end of the day its the moms and dads choice.

Good luck

Why is it any nicer for a child to carry their dad's surname as opposed to their mum's?

The OP's father-in-law's problem doesn't seem to lie in his grandkid having a double-barrel name because one day, his great, great grandkids might possibly have a name that is longer than everyone else's (though it's unlikely anyway). It's that he clearly believes that the father's name should take priority, hence why he referred to the OP by her partner's name also.

People talk as if we should be grateful that the tradition of a man's name taking precedence over a woman's exists because otherwise, we would be presented with some huge, impossible-to-solve problem about neverending double-barrel names. If somebody's name gets 'too long', all they have to do is choose one name to pass on to their own kids - simple! Besides all that, it can't even be applied to single parents, gay parents or any other type of family, so it just seems like a completely dated and irrelevant tradition. People get to make their own decisions about their own children's names, everyone's happy.

LegacyUser

This may or may not help OP.
I know someone who called their child for example John Jason Smith Wesson.
Where on the birth cert and baptism cert Wesson is the Surname (his), and Smith is the third given name (her surname before marriage).

But if you are happy with the decision as it stands, then the Grandfather will just have to accept that. For what it's worth I think including the mother in some way is a lovely tradition, be that double barreling or whatever.

Chinafoot

grindelwald wrote: »

Did you not bother reading the rest of what i said?

Did you not bother reading the part of the OP that says she and her partner are happy with the decision they made on the double-barrell name making your personal opinion and your "where does it end" argument completely redundant?

woodoo

I have a strong dislike for double barrel names. It is especially bad with some Irish names. E.g O'Hara-McGranaghan or O'keffe-McDonagh or McDermott-McLaughlin. It just sounds silly to me.

Where does it stop. If they go on to have children will it end up O'Hara-McGranaghan-McDermott-McLaughlin.

Sorry OP but i am on the side of the grandfather.

LegacyUser

Would people give over moaning about their personal dislike of double barrel surnames...the OP made it clear she and her partner had already discussed it and made their choice. Just going in circels now. Offering suggestions on how they could name the child? The child is already born and I assume named so get past it people.

OP I doubt you'd really be ale to talk to your father in law about the subject so just ignore him, at the end of the day it's your child not his.

A reminder that the OP is asking for advice on how to deal with their relatives, NOT opinions on double barrel names in general
please keep replies helpful and on topic

username123

woodoo wrote: »

Sorry OP but i am on the side of the grandfather.

Its not about sides, grandparents have no say in naming of children.

Its about how to deal with a disgruntled grandparent who is troublemaking because he doesnt agree with a parental decision.

Sleepy

You ignore them.

You're not going to talk them around as in their mind they're right. It's the same as when grandparents want their grand-children baptised, in their opinion you're committing an awful act that places the child's soul "at risk" by not having them inducted into the Catholic Church.

In this case, the grandparents believe the OP is placing the child at risk of being teased / bullied for having a pretentious/silly/trendy/(whatever their objection is) double-barrell surname. The only difference imo, is that the latter is a reasonable argument, evidenced by the fact that many schoolchildren with double-barrel surnames ask their teachers to use a single surname in the classroom.

There's nothing else to be said really: the grandparents aren't going to change their mind and from the sound of the grandfather he's the typical passive agressive rural Irishman of his generation: he'll needle you to death for disagreeing with him but will pass it off as banter if he's called on it.

implausible

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

My mother sends Christmas cards to me addressed to "Mrs Tom Smith" and recently gave out to me for filling in a raffle ticket down home in my "maiden name". I explained that it was my name and I don't have a 'maiden' name. She harumphed and I know that it won't make a blind bit of difference...:rolleyes:

Your father-in-law is old-fashioned and set in his ways. He thinks you're mad and that he's right. That's not going to change. How many times will he realistically addressing your son by his full name anyway? Most grandads just call their grandkids by their first names, so in the grand scheme of things, while it is annoying, it's really only a minor irritation that you'll only have to put up with when receiving post.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I got engaged on friday (just can't stop telling people:D) and we've already decided on what we're doing. We're making a new surname that's a mix of both our names. I don't like the idea of dropping my name upon marraige and I don't like the idea of calling children I've given birth to by a different surname to me. It's just archaic to me and pretty damn sexist to decide on a surname based on genitalia, but sure that's just my opinion.

So when we talked about it we decided that we'd make/start a new surename that mixes both of ours together, we're getting our names changed by deed poll upon marraige. Luckily our surnames make a pretty cool surname when mixed. This isn't it; but imagine Smith and Jones, it becomes Smones, or Jonith, something like that anyways, luckily our names aren't smith and jones though .

Anyway I'm telling you this because, while we're blessed wtih very open-minded and supportive families on both sides who all think it's a great idea, there will of course be people that think we give a rat *ss what they think and I'm sure will insist on telling us what they think. My reply will be that we really don't a give a f*ck what anyone else thinks and that they're looking really fat that day:p In other words when someone seems to be under the ridiculous impression that their opinion on this matters be utterly ridiculous back and they'll get your point. So yeah naming is completely subjective, and NO ONE else's business. If you want to name your child DR Spok PurpleBlue Jim BigLittle Jones McGinty then that's up to you:D.

With regards to the passive-aggressive FIL, that's easily dealt with. Everytime he says the wrong name be just as passive-aggressive back, ask him if he's been in the whiskey again, or be very condecending and ask him if he's forgetting anything else and has he seen a Dr? Make sure to have a comical look of mock concern on your face when you do this. He sounds like a twit and people like that don't like being treated like the fools they are so he'll stop pretty sharpish. Seriously OP, anytime I've run into that type of behaviour I've faught fire with fire and I've always won.

Or just ignore ignore ignore as others said, and if he posts stuff to the wrong name just send it back. While this is irritating you could just take it as hilarious because at the end of the day he has no power over you or your decision, he can't do anything to change it and he's banging his head against the wall.

Best of luck.

Sala

curlzy wrote: »

Hey OP,
It's just archaic to me and pretty damn sexist to decide on a surname based on genitalia, but sure that's just my opinion.

+1million
I don't understand why people think double barrelled surnames are pretentious while thinking it's ok to insist or assume the child will have the father's name, just because it is tradition. It is a a patriarchal tradition and I personally intend to do my bit to do away with it when I have children!

Curlzy I like your idea of mixing them names. I always thought I'd go doubled barrelled, but this could work. (Or give them both up completely and take one of our mother's maiden names )

OP- you have made your decision and you are right - this is your decision to make and is nothing to do with your father-in-law. I agree that you should send any letters back when they are addressed to Mr. and Mrs. X. It's not your name so Mrs X does not exist and doesn't live there - they'll get the message.

Zen65

ohdearme wrote: »

I am just so annoyed that he'll address this and future children by a name that is not theirs.

Do I understand from your OP that you've just recently given birth to a child? That being the case then congratulations to you both! It's a wonderful experience (ok - I'm clearly a male so I'm only referring to the experience of becoming a parent, not the "giving birth" experience of which I am not qualified to speak) and it comes with heightened senses of emotion and responsibility for both parents. For grandparents it is also a joyous occasion though it brings about a keen sense of mortality, as grandparents will often be struck by the sense that they are being lined up for their final phase of life.

That's morbid, but true. Hopefully the "final phase" of their lives will last long enough for your children to get to know them, but statistically they may not know all of their grandparents very well. In that context, how your grandfather addresses your child may have very little impact or relevance to your child as he/she grows up.

I say that only to put your concerns into perspective. Some people don't want anything different in their lives. Your F-I-L has issues coming to terms with his own mortality but also is having an issue coping with the fact that his grandchild will not bear the name he expected. As old and stubborn as he is, this is something he will get over. You ask how to deal with it, and my advice is to ignore it completely; in time your F-I-L will probably tire of the "joke" that he's started and will stop it so as to avoid feeling foolish.

My own wife did not take my surname (though I sometimes refer to her as Mrs Zen here on Boards for simplicity). It never troubled me, nor my children that her surname was not the same as theirs. Occasionally my own mother would address Christmas cards to "Mr and Mrs Zen" which my wife found to be infuriating, but in time she simply passed no comment. It all seemed so silly when my mother took ill and died. The reality is that these issues are very small in the context of the path our lives follow. Remember that the next time your F-I-L passes one of his silly comments, and even go so far as to light-heartedly say "...but wouldn't it be a pity if <NAME> only remembers you as the grandfather who could not remember his real name?".

Be at peace,

Z

LegacyUser

Zen65 wrote: »

You ask how to deal with it, and my advice is to ignore it completely; in time your F-I-L will probably tire of the "joke" that he's started and will stop it so as to avoid feeling foolish.

My own wife did not take my surname (though I sometimes refer to her as Mrs Zen here on Boards for simplicity). It never troubled me, nor my children that her surname was not the same as theirs. Occasionally my own mother would address Christmas cards to "Mr and Mrs Zen" which my wife found to be infuriating, but in time she simply passed no comment. It all seemed so silly when my mother took ill and died. The reality is that these issues are very small in the context of the path our lives follow. Remember that the next time your F-I-L passes one of his silly comments, and even go so far as to light-heartedly say "...but wouldn't it be a pity if <NAME> only remembers you as the grandfather who could not remember his real name?".

Be at peace,

Z

As far as the situation with the OP, I agree with the above post and his advices. Just ignore your FIL and I am sure the issue will get old and tire out. The more you bring attention to it the more probable he will annoy you.

I never changed my last name when I got married. In my opinion, the only time a person changes their name is if they go into witness protection. I am not one to conform to "archaic" traditions or turn it into a "feminist" issue either. As far as my in-laws are concerned, I neither get offended nor bothered when they refer me by my husband's last name. They send my birthday cards addressed to "Mrs. John Smith" What do I do? I just thank them for their kind gesture and move on. I don't bother correcting them or get annoyed over it. Besides all documentation is in my name so they can call me "Mrs. John Smith" whenever they like but legally I will always be "Mary Jones" and that will never change. I am a confident woman who knows who I am and where I come from and "some" people who choose to address me by my husband's name isn't going to discredit that or have me worked up all over it either. Imo, people who are continuosly offended and annoyed about it all the time are actually causing more insult and injury to their children who bear or will bear that name whether double-barrelled or not.

hellothere1

bananaRep12 wrote: »

Double-barrel names are pretentious, in a country where there is no tradition of carrying the mother's name. The surname is normally handed down the male lineage, except , in recent times, where there may not be a father in the relationship, or where the parents are not married.

In this case the grandparents should not be derided for wanting to follow tradition.

(Doe the mother of the child not realise it's her father's/grandfather's name she is advocating to be part of the baby's surname(s)?)


As to why someone would want to land the child with a double-barrelled name? That's for the parents to justify. Personally I think it's ridiculous, but each to their own.

They can call the child what they like. Tradition is the religion of idiots.

Ireland has plenty of 'traditions' that it would be better off without.