How to start a social life again?....

grey_so_what

Hi everyone - no point beating around the bush, how does a 49 year old start again to have a life?.....In the last couple of years I have lost my O/H (cancer), job (made redundant), lost my house, moved to city (with college-going fantastic child) and, basically, know about three people who do not, because of their circumstances, go out at all - any family I have live on the other side of the country.

I'm not the sporty type and am quite shy so I don't really know where to start. I gave up my "life" such as it was around five years ago to nurse my partner and now I find I have practically become practically a recluse. Bereavement and feeling sorry for myself made me practically lose the last couple of years but, now, it's time to get up and out - I was a volunteer for years but in my area there is a glut of people in the various groups due to the high rise of people unemployed so maybe something else that would give me some sort of purpose.

Has anyone any ideas how you actually find a life??????????????????
All suggestions welcome!

lowkeys

Sounds like you have had a tough few years. I reckon clubs are the best way of getting to meet people and if you are living in a city it should be easier to find something that suits you.

Maybe try a book club or look on local notice boards in shops and cafes to see what is being advertised. I also know that some areas of the country have volunteer placement offices. You can tell them your skills and what you are looking for while volunteering and they can place you in an area that would suit you - something where you would be working with other people.

I know you said you arent sporty but there are plenty of walking groups around and these often have various grades of difficulty. Walking groups can be good as you get to talk to a variety of people for various lengths of time or walk with your own thoughts if you need some quiet time.

Best of luck.

grey_so_what

Thanks lowkeys, I didn't know about the volunteer placement offices - I'll check that out - the walking is just not me - I hate wandering around with my head full of rubbish - Time to shake off the cobwebs!

stargazer 68

Op dont forget to join us too!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2056556475

grey_so_what

Dovies wrote: »

Op dont forget to join us too!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2056556475

"One does not simply walk into Mordor" Dovies......are wymen welcome????;)

stargazer 68

grey_so_what wrote: »

"One does not simply walk into Mordor" Dovies......are wymen welcome????;)

Morder? Wimmins? Well Im going so I hope so!

fungun

grey_so_what wrote: »

"One does not simply walk into Mordor" Dovies......are wymen welcome????;)

If you can quote LOTR you will fit right in I imagine. Plus have you in the top 10% on most people's 'wanted' lists!

I know you are saying you are not sporty, but thats quite a sweeping statement to exclude everything like that. I mean, what about yoga/pilates or the like?

The other thing to so find a hobby you might like, could be anything. I keep tropical fish for instance, and despite it being a 'home' hobby I have actually met lots of people through it, on here swapping stuff or there are club meetings etc that you could go to if you wanted to. But if you could think of a hobby you think you might like to do, then through that you will meet people, even if its not so obvious that you will. Hmm, crap English, hope that makes sense!

Best of luck

paperclip2

grey_so_what wrote: »

"One does not simply walk into Mordor" Dovies......are wymen welcome????;)

Love it!
Yes we is welcome
So are you.

grey_so_what

I'll keep an eye on that thread....
Fungun - Interesting one on the hobbies - it actually occurred that in the last twenty years I haven't had one! Family and work have always taken up my full attention - maybe I'll find out what I want to be when I grow up?...The fish are beautiful but after killing about three tank fulls years ago I got a screensaver instead (seriously!).

Yoga was on my list but they always seen so fit and bendy legs kinda put me off to be honest but that is more of a winter idea for me - It's going to be summer all the way - Making all kinds of decisions here......

I'm really on a roll here!!!

lace

Hi OP!

You could try talking to local residents or business owners and find out what's going on in the area in terms of clubs you could join etc. They may also be able to point you in the right direction of how to get involved in local tidy towns initiatives etc.

Have you ever thought about singing with a choir or joining a local drama group or musical society? I know it's not for everyone but if you're looking to shake things up, get out of your shell and make some friends these kinds of groups are a good way to do it! Even if you don't want to be in the limelight - lots of them do workshops etc and you could be involved behind the scenes with writing, organizing, costumes, props etc.

You could also check out your local FAS centre or VEC as many places offer short evening courses in a whole range of topics. My aunt has recently taken on a computer course and is having great fun and making lots of friends. There are so many different courses - from icing cakes to building your own garden deck to dressmaking or growing your own vegetables. Lots of these courses are free and easy to get into. They're short too - so you can see something you fancy, give it a go and if you don't like it it's only six weeks and you can try something else! Take a look on www.qualifax.ie to browse or search available courses.

I really recommend yoga! You don't have to be bendy starting off and it's lovely to do outside in the fresh air in the summertime!