Can anyone advise me on my next step to trace my birth mother?

pinkpanter

Hi all, i am new to this so hope i am posting this in the right place, sorry in advance for all the waffel!!

so here is my story and question. i have put my name on the waiting list with Cunamh and have gotten my non-id info and I have started my own search for my birth mother. I have been successful in finding my own birth cert, from there i have found my bm birth cert and her parents marriage cert, I was aware from the non-id info that my bm parents were deceased so i got copies of their death certs i then went on to search the marriage and death records from my year of birth to date for my bm but didnt find anything.... i now find myself at a dead end and dont no what the next step i can take is or even if i can take a next step myself? So my question is do i now need to wait for the assistance of the adoption agency or is there more research i can do myself?

I would be most greatful for any advice. Thanks in advance.

Pinkpanter

tyview

Hi PinkPanther!

You've got a lot of info so far, well done! A couple of things come to mind... Did your BM have any brothers or sisters?? If she did you could check for their births to get their names (you wouldnt need to actually get their certs, just find out their names) and then check the marriage records. It would be possible that your BM was a witness at their marriage. It could also be the case that she was a witness for a cousin... I couldnt find my BM's Marriage cert but got her married name using the above. I had done out a basic family tree for my bm's family to keep track of things.

If you have a few certs collected, are they the same addresses? or are they all in the same area? you could always go and check the electoral register in that area in the local library or garda station (as far as I can remember)

As her parents have passed away, you could try searching online for an obituary. My birth grandmothers was on ancestry and at the time I was trying to find my bm's siblings names and low and behold there they were in the obituary.

These are a just a few ideas to get you moving again but I'm sure others might have some more... Good Luck!

pinkpanter

Hi Tyview, thanks for the reply and also the advice, i have the names of her sisters and brothers and also some marriage certs but didnt get any further with this. I was told that my bm lived and worked in Dublin at the time of my birth as she didnt have a family home after her parents died but when i searched the records i found that 1 sister and 1 brother that got married around the year i was born were living at the same address (family home) as was on my bm birth cert! I have also checked for an obiturary but didnt have any luck there so i think my best bet would be do to more research on the rest of her family or as you suggested check the electoral register in the area.

Thanks again for your advice.

Pinkpanter

Bod the Munster one!

hi pink panther,, well done on getting so far.. dealing with agencies can take forever to never,,,,Adoption Rights Alliance have a webpage and or on facebook they have loads of advise and are a great help all adoptees or people related to adoption,, have a look for them.. and good luck on your journey.

The_Conductor

Hi Pink Panther-

You've actually got a considerable amount of information already.
If you are confident that the information you have is accurate- you actually have a wonderful base from which to work from.

You have your mum's birth cert- and your maternal grandparents death certs. You also have the address of what you have determined is the family home.

Do not go knocking on doors. If you visit local graveyards to find your grandparents grave, you will also likely have found the church your birthmother was christened in (and its very possible the local school she would have attended would also be in the area). If you get her baptismal cert- you could spin a story about researching a lost relative (keep it vague enough) and get details of her school confirmed (likely there would also be a note of her confirmation in the records).

Go on the internet- and you'll likely find some people who knew her at once stage.

I'd then suggest getting someone approximating her age to lend you a hand with a phone call (do not do it yourself) and ring the brother in the family home and suggest that there is a school reunion (or something similar) being planned, drop the names of some of the people in her class to make the story more authentic- and then say that you've lost contact details for your birthmum- would they be able to help?

You will need a reasonable amount of accurate background information to make this work and dispell any suspicions your uncle may have- and you *need* to get someone else to make the call on your behalf- as you're not going to be able to pull it off yourself.

With a little bit of research- you'll be handed all her current details on a plate.

Note- the lack of a marriage cert doesn't really mean anything- she could be single (not unusual for those traumatised by being forced to give up their children)- or indeed, she may have emigrated- as far too many of us have been forced to do.

Be open minded- don't have any particular expectations- and if you'd like to talk to any of us here or look for suggestions/ideas- feel free to contact us at any time.

Kind regards,

Shane