Really want to travel alone

LegacyUser

Hi all, I'm a first year in college 20 years of age and I would love to travel on my own this summer.

Reasons being, none of the new friends I've made this year have the money to go on holiday with me. I have been fortunate enough to find myself a job and thus I have the money to go by myself, but I'm the only one in a group who could afford it.

I know all the usual recommendations, book into a hostel, rather than a hotel/ adventure holidays, not family/couple-orientated commercial packages. I probably won't go on the J1 alone as it'd be much more daunting going to America for my first time travelling alone. I would much prefer to do a week break somewhere in Europe.

Only problem is my parents aren't ok with it, they're worried about me being lonely, not having a good time etc. I appreciate they are looking out for me but I feel that it is the right thing to do. I've gone to concerts on my own to test the waters and always had a good time but they still fear for me leaving the country by myself.

I would so love to do it. I'm going to try and talk to them a little more and hope for the best, I sincerely doubt they will approve but if they do I'm booking my flights and into a hostel, there'll be no two ways about it.

Has anyone else been in my position and could you give me any advice for how to go about doing this?

Thanks

Beruthiel

want_to_travel_alone wrote: »

Only problem is my parents aren't ok with it, they're worried about me being lonely, not having a good time etc.

They are not worried about you being lonely or not having a good time.
They are giving you those reasons in the hope to talk you out of it.
What they are really worried about is you.
You will be in another country where they cannot help you if something happens.
This is what all parents worry about with regards to their children.

What you need to do is assure them that you will be safe and keep in touch. Perhaps by Facebook updates, texts and a clear plan of where you are going and staying.
That should help.

LegacyUser

Thanks Beruthiel I really, really appreciate you taking the time to reply to my post.

My parents were on holiday for a week and are back tonight, so I will hopefully have a talk with them about it, let them know if I do book a trip away I will text/call them every morning and evening, send facebook messages etc so they will know I'm ok and looking after myself.

I will also take your idea into consideration about talking to them on the subject of where I want to go, how I will get there and how I will get home.

If they give me the ok, I will be the happiest person alive.

Keep them coming, all advice is welcome.

P. Breathnach

Parents usually worry more about daughters than sons. My guess is that you are a daughter (no need for you to say if I am right or wrong: you are entitled to your privacy).

You might have to do a little more to reassure them that you are sensible and able to cope when situations get tricky. On the assumption that you have got through 20 years without messing things up, you can point to the fact that you have managed so far, so all the evidence is in favour of your being judged competent.

Further, you can - tactfully - point out that they obviously trust you to manage without them if they can go away leaving you at home.

Don't commit to contacting them too much. You are working on emancipating yourself. Once a day should be sufficient, and in addition they have the option of phoning or texting you.

woodchuck

Unless they’re paying for it, you don’t need their permission…

They’re just worried about you, it’s natural. Nothing you say will change that, but try to reassure them as much as you can. Like you said, keep in touch every day and give them details of your itinerary (flights, accommodation etc).

Have a blast

Ickle Magoo

I think it's just protective parents being protective parents and voicing any concerns their experience has taught them may crop up just to ensure you haven't over-looked anything.

The best way of dealing with it is to gently but firmly point out that you'd already taken such concerns into account and thus have spent time planning your trip in order that you aren't concerned. If it's a new experience for them to see you go off into the big bad world on your own then just take solace in the fact that the first time is the worst and each time you go off and come back safely, they should be a little less worried.

All the best! :cool:

ihsb

Ok so a couple of pointers. I am 23 I went travelling last year, mainly on my own. I stayed with a family for some of it but all the travelling around I did on my own. I went to America and had the best time of my life.

+1 stay in hostels. You meet some great people. Bring a lock with you for the lockers and don't bring anything worth any money.

Get good health/travel insurance. If you are staying within the EU get that card that gives you free healthcare before you leave. I got travel insurance from AXA and they were great.

I found it great being in a country where everyone speaks English so maybe re think America? It is lonely at times but there are ways to meet people. PM me if you want.

To put your parents mind at ease. Send them on addresses of places you are staying and dates, take a self defence course. Explain to them how much it will mean to you. It can be dodgy but you should know yourself how to keep yourself safe.

Beruthiel

want_to_travel_alone wrote: »

If they give me the ok

If you are financing this trip by yourself, then at the age of 20, you do not need their consent or permission to go.
Just tell them you are going and that you intend to keep in touch regularly.

Starokan

Don't rule out the j1 on your own, you will find work when you have it and could possibly end up meeting tons of other folks travelling. I did it way back and it was best experience i ever had

LegacyUser

Beruthiel wrote: »

If you are financing this trip by yourself, then at the age of 20, you do not need their consent or permission to go.
Just tell them you are going and that you intend to keep in touch regularly.

do you seriously think that is good advice?

The kid is in college aka dependent on the parents. what if their parents say grand, off you go but i'm not paying your college fees next year, or your rent, or food bill or for anything.

most people can afford a week in the sun but not everyone can finance college at 20.

If the op is expects their parents to pay for college then it's fair to get their approval for certain things.

op, talk to your parents. you need to persuade them that you'll be fine and you'll keep in touch etc

Twee.

I went on a J1 alone last year, three months in New York City. It was unbelievable! Things were a little lonely at the start, but then I got to know my room-mates, found a J1 NY group on Facebook that people organised nights out on, got a job, had a few drinks in my local bar etc.

Are you relying on them for money? If not, well you're 20, you can do what you like! Harsh on them, but maybe they need to realise that you're serious about getting away for the summer? They might think now that you'd never go, all talk blah blah.

If you do choose to go to Europe even for just the week you'll never be far from wifi or an internet cafe, you can Skype them face to face! Promise to check in etc. Hostels are great places to meet other travelers and do stuff with them. Loads of hostels organise tours as well. I spent my first night in NY in a hostel and a group of the girls from the room went out for dinner together. It was nice!

Don't rule out the J1 totally though! I was bricking it when I went, but sure by the end I wanted to stay forever!

Princess Peach

I remember the first time I travelled alone. I was living in Boston at the time with friends but went to New York alone for a few days because my friends didn't want to come. My parents were worried when I told them. They are the type of parents to be concerned but would never try and stop me doing something.

I reminded them I'm a smart girl, I've never been in trouble. Promised them I would stay in touch, be sensible, not go to dodgy areas, all the stuff you already know, but just reassure them!

If you are going to a hostel and you are friendly you will be grand! Try and find a good one that organises tours and events, maybe has a bar. Good way to meet people. The easiest thing to do in a hostel is if people in your dorm are heading out sight seeing or to get food, just ask can you join them. I've never stayed in a hostel alone, but have almost every time had a girl or sometimes a few join us for dinner and outings! I'm going away myself next month and not a bit worried because I will just do what they did

LegacyUser

Hey all,

Sorry for the late response, things been busy in college with assignments etc. but I have read all of your advice on my idea of going away by myself and it is all very encouraging and I appreciate the interest taken by each and every one of you to comment here and give me advice.

I have thought a bit about it and at the moment its seeming likely I'll go travelling around Ireland solo, maybe staying at a hostel in Cork for a week or so, head home for a bit to recoup and then go other places Galway, Limerick, Sligo etc.

I would rather travel solo in the country to build up my confidence before I go beyond and if it turns out to be great I'll have no problems going abroad the summer next year if none of my friends can afford it by then.

I'll be financing the trip all on my own and am perfectly ok with doing it like that, it will be more in my budget if I stay in Ireland for this summer, and as said I'll go further summer next year if I have a good time.

I'm researching hostels in places I'd like to go to, I'll defo take the advice of looking into ones that organise tours/events etc.