Clueless? Help?

LegacyUser

Hi,
Ive just found out this morning that im pregnant. Im happy, but absolutely shocked.
Me and my partner are in our early 20's and hadnt planned on having children for a while, but we have a nice stable relationship and have been living together over a year now.
The only thing im worried about is the cost of actually having the child... hospitals, scans, overnight stay after delivery.

Himself works (minimum wage) and I lost my job last week so im very worried about the cost of things. As im young and this is my first time I have no idea what to expect.
Do i have to have a medical card to get help with the costs? Or whats the story?

Any input at all would be greatly appreciated

January

Hello,

Firstly, congratulations! Secondly, don't worry about the cost of maternity care, as long as you are from an EU country, public maternity care (including 6 GP visits, called combined care) is free in Ireland, scans and accommodation during (if needed) your pregnancy and after the baby is born are included in this. (No medical card required)

All baby equipment can be bought cheaply enough these days and adverts/donedeal/gumtree are fantastic for second hand bits. You can often get great travel systems for half the price they are new, barely used.

I was 21 having my first baby, I'm 25 in May and gave birth to number 3 last October! It's hectic, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Welcome to the forum!

Ms2011

Congrats on your pregnancy!

I am almost 37 weeks pregnant & was made redundant when I was 8 weeks pregnant. As said you get 6 free GP visits before you give birth as part of combined care plus you & your baby are covered free of charge for 6 weeks after the birth.

Personally I've only bought a handful of things new most things I've bought in excellent condition second hand. For example my travel system retails at €450 new I bought it for €100 as an unwanted present on Adverts.ie including the rain cover, foot muff & flyscreen!
There really are some great bargins to be had if you look in the right place not to mention the really generous gifts people give you :-)

Neyite

Congrats!

At the parentcraft course I attended the midwife said that you need 3 things: A cot, a car seat and a monitor. Anything after this is useful, but not essential.

Preferably buy the car seat new, but the rest can be got second hand. I was given the cot and the moses basket by family (new matteress tho) Lots of stuff that is useful but not necessary can be got second hand. I got a lot of maternity wear second hand, but you will not need anything like that for a few months yet - you'd get away with stretchy tops from pennys one or 2 sizes up and a pair or two of maternity jeans (new look are really cheap) Thats what I'm wearing and I'm 7 and a half months gone.

Havent paid a penny for medical care. Its all covered if you go public.

Shuwaaah

First of all, congratulations on your news. :-)
Im in a very similar position to yourself, my partner and i are in our twenties (Im 22) and will be living together a year in April, baby due at end of April. He is on minimum wage and I lost my job when i was 6 weeks along. Babs wasn't really planned but we were delighted, albeit I was shocked and scared at first as the timing was very bad.

As the others have said, maternity care is free if you're going public for the duration of the pregnancy, and until the baby is 6 weeks old, as far as i know. We found that people have been offering us loads of things that they no longer use (one benefit of the recession, everyone knows money is scarce), the only big new thing we had to buy was a pram, but there are some fantastic deals on second hand ones out there.

I got a few great tips from a girl who had a baby when both her and her partner were unemployed: if people are asking what to get for the baby, asking for supermarket vouchers is a lifesaver apparently, as you can buy the nappies in bulk when they're on offer. She also said that when they get the children's allowance they buy the food and nappies to last the baby the month, that way you're not worrying and stressing about being short on money for the essentials.

Just remember that people have been doing this for thousands of years, a lot of the things that people get now are little luxuries or things that are just perceived as essential, when you could manage without them really. As long as you and baby are fed, healthy and happy, that's the main thing. Hope this was of some use. :-)

username2012

Hi, OP here.. I registered (and also accidentally posted again cos i couldnt see this thread.. sorry )

Thanks for all the congrats, Im actually happy.. and himself is delighted, he loves kids and is acting all excited like a big one himself

I didnt know that you could go public and get everything included. I was literally breaking out in cold sweats thinking about the thousands we'd need just to get the baby out.

@January: Thanks for the info, it was very simple to understand to a newbie like me . And 3 kids by 25! I can only imagine its hectic! Thinkin about 3 has just brought on another cold sweat haha.

Ms2011: You sound like you were in a similar situation to me so, only a few months ago. If I hadnt lost my job, I know we'd be fine. But, maybe it was karma and was meant to happen, ya never know. Im defo gonna start looking on that site, see what we can afford to get

Neyite: I have loads of old clothes from before I lost weight.. I never threw them away, I always thought Id need them for somethin, so here's a great reason . I'll make sure I have the 3 essentials. Is it true that the hospital dont let you take the child home until you have the car seat installed in the car? What if you're taking a bus for example?

@shuwaaah: ur in almost the exact same situation as me . we've been livin together since last january , and this baby wasnt planned either.
Im sure as you said, people will be more than generous with giving us old stuff.. My partner's sister had a child last August, so Im sure anything small she isnt using anymore will be handed down to us . And askin for supermarket vouchers is actually a great idea!! Id never of thought of somethin like that. and also buying all the baby's food and stuff monthly first.. excellent, as it will stop us worrying about it. Thanks a for that info, was really helpful .

Ive booked a doctor's appointment for 2mro morning, to see how far along I am .. cant wait... will she be able to tell me straight away how far along i am or will i have to wait a few days?

Neyite

username2012 wrote: »

Is it true that the hospital dont let you take the child home until you have the car seat installed in the car? What if you're taking a bus for example?

They seem to say so - I never asked about the bus tho! I'd imagine they say that in case you may not have a car yourself but might get a lift home or a taxi, and they would insist then. I use the bus a lot myself going into town, as parking can be an utter pain (and back in my days of freedom it was nice to have a wee drink after a wander around the shops without worrying about tickets or clamping if you ended up parking up for the night!) But I dont think even if I wanted to get the bus home after the birth, and was physically fit to, Granny would have a fit!

wrote:

Ive booked a doctor's appointment for 2mro morning, to see how far along I am .. cant wait... will she be able to tell me straight away how far along i am or will i have to wait a few days?

You wont be able to tell from the test, only by working out your dates really, (until you get a scan later on in your pregnancy.) Do you know when your last period was? Count from the first day of your last period. For instance, my last period began on August 6 (ovulated on August 19) so pregnancy is counted 40 weeks from that date to give you your due date. There are online calculators that give you your due date if you put in the date your last period started.

PS. Pick up some folic acid in the chemist and start taking asap. its only a couple of euro but folic is very important for baby in the first trimester.

annamcmahon

Username2011, I lost some weight before getting pregnant too so a lot of my jeans and tops were a bit big on me. I haven't bothered and couldn't really justify, getting maternity jeans and just leave my normal jeans open and use braces to hold them up. Then I wear a long top over them so the crotch part is covered. I've been wearing leggings underneath while the weather has been cold.

Re baby clothes I've gotten loads of barely worn stuff in my local charity shops for almost nothing. Someone around here keeps donating baby clothes from the likes of Next.

Neyite

I was in my own clothes until nearly 6 months. I then looped an elastic around the button hole of my jeans and around the button to keep them on with a long top over it. Mothercare sells belly expanders which did the same job for seventeen quid, and the girl in the shop had the neck to tell me it was a bargain and cheaper than maternity trousers (eh, 3 doors down in new look for a euro more i could get a pair of maternity jeans love!) :rolleyes:

username2012

@Neyite: I sat down and done my calculations straight away after i saw your post, and used some pregnancy calculators online, and im 6 and a half weeks . And id say the price of maternity clothes is ridiculous. I have a trouser extender thing that sounds the same as what you have, and i know il be using that.. and probably wearing a lot of my old clothes.. i went from a size 16-18 to a 12, so im sure some of those will last me

@annamcmahon: I must have a look in charity shops so! N im sure penneys and dunnes would have cheap enough stuff. My partner's sister said to buy loads of vests in there.

annamcmahon

Actually Tesco is much better than Pennys. The clothes are cheaper, wear much better and Pennys stuff is tiny. My daughter had grown out of Pennys 0-3month babygros at 6wks but was still wearing the same size from other shops at 4months. Tesco is great for when they are a bit older for tops, jeans and hoodies to and their baby clothes are always included in their clothes sales. HaHa, I must sound really cheap.

username2012

Anna, you might as well get the best value for money. I can only imagine how fast they grow out of the clothes. And i need lots of advice on how to be cheap! haha

And does anyone know, if im going public, will others who are going private be more of a priority.. i.e. if i need an epidural (which i defo will, i have no tolerance to pain), will all the ladies who have private care be done first, and then me? Or is it given by who needs it more/who is more dialated and needs it quicker?

(Apologies for all the questions )

January

username2012 wrote: »

Anna, you might as well get the best value for money. I can only imagine how fast they grow out of the clothes. And i need lots of advice on how to be cheap! haha

And does anyone know, if im going public, will others who are going private be more of a priority.. i.e. if i need an epidural (which i defo will, i have no tolerance to pain), will all the ladies who have private care be done first, and then me? Or is it given by who needs it more/who is more dialated and needs it quicker?

(Apologies for all the questions )

When you're in labour no one is public or private, everyone is the same. It's only antenatal care or post natal care. So you shouldn't be passed over for an epidural before anyone else.

Neyite

username2012 wrote: »

And does anyone know, if im going public, will others who are going private be more of a priority.. i.e. if i need an epidural (which i defo will, i have no tolerance to pain), will all the ladies who have private care be done first, and then me? Or is it given by who needs it more/who is more dialated and needs it quicker?

(Apologies for all the questions )

They dont differentiate when it comes to your health or your baby. Your comfort and safety is paramount regardless of whether you are public or private.

They only difference is that you get a private or semiprivate room and you may get your consultant to deliver if you are private. If you are public you will have a midwife but if there is anything to prescribe such as an epi, then the on duty gynae/ob will do that.

username2012

Thats a relief to hear.. Thank u!

My mind has gone into overdrive the past few days thinking up a million questions and scenarios :P.. Its good to hear from women who know what they're talking about..

TwoMums2Be

As said your EPI should be fine & everyone is a patient to the midwives. Private doesn't guarantee you a private/semi private room either but your private consultant is called when you are admitted & he/she is called rather than the on call ob if required which can be quicker depending.