One Night Stand or More?

LegacyUser

Hey Y'all,

A few months ago I started a new job in a bar but after only 2 weeks decided that it wasn't for me and quit. One of the barmen who works there is absolutley gorgeous and really sound on top of that. I found him so attractive in fact that I could barely speak to him without blushing and stumbling over my words. Anyway I left the bar and thought I'd never see him again. I added him on facebook but we never messaged each other or anything.

Skip forward a few weeks and I found myself another job. One of the girls I work with is really cool and as it turns out, her boyfriend is best friends with the guy I like! We've been out a few times together and this guy has been there but we haven't really chatted much. last weekend however we were all out and he was there. He came over and sat beside me at one point and we were getting along great. Long story short we went home together and had sex.

He told me he think I'm incredibly sexy and we got along great. However, there are a few issues. Firstly, althought the chemistry was great, we were very drunk and he...ahem....couldn't quite perform! It wasn't a big deal, we just kissed and made out and then i left teh next morning cos i had to work.

I really really like him but I'm not sure what to do next (if anything). My friend doesn't know i slept with him and I'm not going to tell her. I like to keep these things private. She has in the past told me though that he's very selfish when it comes to women. She said he's very good looking and charming but that he has issues and would be an awful person to get with. I just took that as her opinion and decided I could make up my own mind.

Sorry for rambling on, I guess my question is should I ask him if he'd like to meet up again or should I wait to see if he asks me? Also, there is a good chance I'll see him again as he's part of my extended social circle I guess.

Thanks if you've read all of that and for any advice!!

Beruthiel

Why wait, ask him out for a coffee.

LegacyUser

I'd like to ask him out for a coffee but am way too shy/scared of rejection.
It's mad in a sense because the other night (with the help of Mr. Alcohol) I was
super confident and flirty and had no qualms getting naked with this guy but now
I can't even bring myself to send him a stupid message. It's ridiculous. I guess
I'm just thinking though that if he likes me enough he'll ask me. I'd much rather he
got in touch first as silly as that might sound.

Herrick

Talkingheadssss wrote: »

I guess
I'm just thinking though that if he likes me enough he'll ask me. I'd much rather he
got in touch first as silly as that might sound.

Fair enough, but after his "performance problems" he could be really embarrassed and not make contact because of it.

fungun

yeah, all else being equal you might see what he does, but after his 'issues' he is probably thinking he will wait to see what you do.

Although its not typical advice, if you are really shy the easiest thing might be to wait til you are out together and have had a few drinks and start flirting again

snafuk35

Talkingheadssss wrote: »

I'd like to ask him out for a coffee but am way too shy/scared of rejection.
It's mad in a sense because the other night (with the help of Mr. Alcohol) I was
super confident and flirty and had no qualms getting naked with this guy but now
I can't even bring myself to send him a stupid message. It's ridiculous. I guess
I'm just thinking though that if he likes me enough he'll ask me. I'd much rather he
got in touch first as silly as that might sound.

And risk missing your chance? Call him right now if you like him. Why should some other girl get there first? Do it now!

LegacyUser

I can guarentee if he had a bit of an issue because of the drink, he will be way more embarressed then you in regards to making contact, and wont do so on his own.

If you leave it as is, it will be the next time you both out drunk etc. weeks maybe?

However if you give him a quick ring, and ask him for coffee, lunch , dinner, whatever
A simple light breezy conversation.
It shows cofidence and I dont think you'll get rejected at all.
Carpe Diem OP

going un-reg

Don't do it, and in the future you'll regret not trying.

Hindsight isn't always a good thing.

LegacyUser

Ahhhhh...ok you guys have all given me the confidence to just do it!
There's a party on tomorrow night that I'm going to and I know that friends of his will also
be there so I think i'll send him a message asking if he wants to come, just a casual friendly message.

My god my heart is racing just thinking about sending it. I'm scared:P
Thanks to all of you for the confidence boost and I'll keep ye posted!!

Why is it that on a daily basis I can feel pretty happy about myself and comfortable in my own skin but as soon as I like someone, every doubt and insecurity raises it's head. Suddenly I'm a hideous creature who no man could possibly want!

Wish me luck:P:P

Logical Fallacy

Talkingheadssss wrote: »

Why is it that on a daily basis I can feel pretty happy about myself and comfortable in my own skin but as soon as I like someone, every doubt and insecurity raises it's head. Suddenly I'm a hideous creature who no man could possibly want!

Wish me luck:P:P

It's called being human OP! Everyone experiences a range of nerves when they meet someone they really like.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

Quick update....he never even replied to my message!

Ah well, I guess he dares doesn't always win afterall. I was a little hurt yesterday but now I don't care. At least I tried and was brave enough to ask, he wasn't even decent enough to reply and that's a reflection on him not me!

Plenty more fish etc etc!!

Ickle Magoo

Sorry it didn't work out for you.

As this issue is now resolved, I'll lock the thread.

All the best OP! :cool: