how would you respond??

Synyster Shadow

Im on another forum and one woman posted to ask to understand why women with PCOS/infertility problems go to so much effort to have a baby but in her post she stated that its selfish that women would do this.
How would you respond to this?
I can post what was said, just want some opinions

Acoshla

I'd ignore her because she's either trolling to rise people or just of a completely different opinion to yourself and other's posting, she's just a stranger on the internet, no point arguing with her, let it go.

Synyster Shadow

I would really like to see the different reasoning as to why some of you try so hard to TTC. I do not mean this as a negative thread, but as a learning thread.

I, myself, am very... not against TTC, and IVF and all that jazz, I just find it silly, personally. I am not trying to degrade any of you that are actively trying, but I do see it as selfish.

However, I really, genuinely would like to try to see things from the other side of the fence. What is it that makes so many of you go to extremes?

Again, I am not posting this to spark debate, flaming, trolling, etc. I really would like to see things from a different perspective, and I thank anyone in advance for helping me to better understand. And likewise, if anyone wishes to understand my POV better, I'd be more than willing to share my thought process.


this is what she posted. I have ignored but so many are upset with it and the whole convo has gotten worse and worse.

vicwatson

Tell her to GTFO !

Acoshla

Some people are just not maternal/kid oriented so she doesn't see the big deal, granted she has clearly posted it in a place that she shouldn't have but if she's not a troll she's just someone who disagrees with the majority on that forum and was stupid enough to voice that opinion there.

Synyster Shadow

sooooooooo tempting kinda think she should have posted in a diff spot so that she would have answers but not upset poeple in a place thats emotional

Neyite

Just because she writes "I'm not a Troll" does'nt mean that she either deliberatly or unintentionally is not one. She's a troll, pure and simple.

For most women who are trying, I'd imagine that its the thought that the next cycle might be our lucky one drives us. I know couples who have their limits - eg we will try everything up until (say) IVF, or adoption.

I hate this label of "selfishness" that women are regularly saddled with. We are "selfish" to not have kids before we want to, we are "selfish" if we go to the ends of the earth to try to become a mother, we are "selfish" for wanting to have our own instead of adopting all the millions of children around the world, etc etc. It seems that no matter how we choose to use or not use our uterus we are "selfish". Sadly, its a lot of the time other women who brand us with this label.

But I dont even see where women who have difficulty conceiving because of PCOS are "selfish". Surely its between that woman, and her partner. Especially so in this country where nothing relating to fertility treatment is either covered by our astronomical medical insurance or the taxpayer. I paid to have my baby, and I will spend my money how I like - whats it to anyone else if I spend thousands on my reproductive system or shoes?

Our mothers generation campaigned for us to have reproductive freedom and in my lifetime I saw the changes from when women had no say over when their husband wanted sex, being unable to get the pill or condoms, from risking their lives with constant pregnancies when they were clearly dangerous for their health. This country has a little bit to go yet, but we have come so far in 30 odd years to have this choice.

I have friends who never want to become mothers, others who would give all their worldly goods to have even one child. I love that our generation has that choice, and that medical advances means that women who have medical conditions such as PCOS or other issues can avail of that choice if they so wish.

As far as I am concerned, she was trolling.

Synyster Shadow

exactly.. the person who posted this removed herself from the site! maybe she joined just to be cruel I know she was no help or support to anyone!!

gud4u

If she is genuine, which I doubt, she is being tactless, rude, ignorant, insulting, and downright 'silly' herself.

Either that or it's some eejit fishing for info for a college psych assignment, i've come across this on other forums for infertility, especially the acceptance forums.

Synyster Shadow

thats so out of line to mislead people in that way. from all I read of her posts she has a heart of stone shows no emotion and I wouldn give her a mouse to take care of let alone a child

iguana

If something like that was posted on this forum I have to say I'd report it, pointing out the potential such a post had to cause upset and hope the moderators pull it.

tfitzgerald

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

exactly.. the person who posted this removed herself from the site! maybe she joined just to be cruel I know she was no help or support to anyone!!

She is probably a member under another name . I would take no notice of someone who would post like that as a matter of fact I would feel sorry for them because it seems to me they have big problems

Synyster Shadow

she's gone off the site now not sure she left herself or got the boot

Synyster Shadow

Im sure if she's still there in another name she will keep quiet this time

taxus_baccata

Hi all, I wonder if it was something to do with a late evening talk show that I tuned into ( I think it was last Monday week) on 4fm. There was a woman on the show who was adamant that all interventions in TTC were wrong. I nearly punched the radio.

I have to admit that I wasn't TTC for long but from that short time, the anxiety, stress, hopes, dreams, disappointments, sadness (I actually cried my contact lenses out one day when AF arrived). The rollercoaster of emotions was unbelievable! Maybe that person had zero empathy but you'd want to be pretty hard-hearted (or ill) to not at least appreciate the feelings of those TTC long term.

If the person is genuine and not a troll, they probably have bigger issues / problems that any of us replying to them would be likely to fix. I think the pros are required!

lala75

Why does she see it as selfish????