manhood confidence issue

LegacyUser

Slightly long post ahead, sorry!

I've a bit of a problem. I'm 6'6 with a penis that is about 5inches (just used a can of coke (4.75 inches) for size approximation and it is slightly longer) I've met a girl online about a year and we have had a few attempts at meeting each other, sadly things panned in weird ways and we never got to meet (She is from Canada, I'm in Ireland. I've been to Canada and she's been to Ireland since and for barely valid reasons we never got to meet in person.)

We have had this kind of online relationship going and its been on and off. We kind of re-enacted it recently now and decided we would take it a step further as she is due to come to greece and I could just meet her there. We did have some sex phone in the beginning and she's used her toys on herself over the webcam once. I didn't have a webcam, so it was only her. Recently, a flatmate lent me his webcam and I started going on, but we really haven't had any sex thing going since. It's more on the, sharing moments and seeing each other. Yesterday, however, she came up with the "The people in <your native country> are known to have big dicks. Is that true?" I kind of freaked out and said something odd, dismissing the answer altogether and then she asked my size. I said I was small, but no specification.

Now, I kind of like the girl and I know she does have something going on for me, too, but, the following bothers me and it's all a confidence problem that I believe will always haunt me: She used fairly big toys on herself, thinking of it, it makes me think I may not suit her as a potential sexual partner. Secondly, she once said "of course bigger is better" when I asked if she was a size queen.

My problem right now is that I can't take the thoughts of her running away if she finds out my real stats, but that is also unfortunately something I can't control and I think for my own sanity it is something that I must let go. So, what I would like to ask is advice on how to approach. The conversation happened yesterday and I am dying to talk to her just to go over the subject and tell her something like "Listen, I don't think I am endowed enough to your own liking, I understand you are after something bigger and I cannot offer you that, so in the spirit of not wasting anyone's time, I thought I'd clear the expectations between us, as by now it already hurts the thoughts of not being felt adequate size-wise"

OK, maybe some or all of that above is a little emotionally driven by now, but the size of my manhood is a fairly big issue for me. When it comes to hints, I beat all the odds, I have big feet, big hands, big head... but a borderline average penis.

Note: I never had problems with any woman and I know, for the most part, I got the technique down. I only have a problem with this particular woman, who I am expecting I might turn out to be a disappointment to her and mostly because I feel I would want to be more than just good friends!

Lorna123

Don't attempt to worry about the size of your manhood. All that talk is just sex talk. When it comes to the crunch women go for personality. They fall in love with the person not their equipment. I would forget about explaining anything to her. If you meet her and she makes any insensitive remark to you then drop her and be well rid of her. I am sorry to think that any of this worries you. I would think that how you look with your clothes on is way more important than how you look naked. Also, how a man conducts himself is what a relationship is based on, not how he performs. If this woman is making you feel inadequate then forget about her, don't meet her. Plenty of nice women out there.:)

Gilldog

lilmanhood wrote: »

"The people in <your native country> are known to have big dicks. Is that true?"

Firstly, thats a weird one...there's no such thing as a whole country having the same size. Maybe she was just saying it to bring up the subject.

I really would try not to worry about it, what you describe is a normal size for most people, if she can't see past that then she isn't worth your time.

If she has a problem, just say say 'your vagina is too big':D.

Katy89

agree with the poster above, op, don't worry, your size is pretty normal standard size, unerected.

my thoughts to this online relationship, it sounds a bit sex orientated, or physical orientated. and it's always a bit of a special and unnatural situation to not having met the person in reality.

it sounds all a bit superficial. It would be good to meet each other and see how it goes from there. don't put that pressure about your size on board, if you and she is up for a genuine loving relationship, and it clicks, she should accept yo as you are and as your size is normal, no need to worry:)

LegacyUser

Katy89 wrote: »

agree with the poster above, op, don't worry, your size is pretty normal standard size, unerected.

my thoughts to this online relationship, it sounds a bit sex orientated, or physical orientated. and it's always a bit of a special and unnatural situation to not having met the person in reality.

it sounds all a bit superficial. It would be good to meet each other and see how it goes from there. don't put that pressure about your size on board, if you and she is up for a genuine loving relationship, and it clicks, she should accept yo as you are and as your size is normal, no need to worry:)

Actually, I think thats a pretty standard size erected.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your thoughts and advice. Truly appreciated If I wasn't undercover, I'd click the thank button on all your posts. I'm very insecure and feel the conversation may come to this again at some point.

Katy89 wrote: »

agree with the poster above, op, don't worry, your size is pretty normal standard size, unerected.

So you are saying 5.5 unerect is normal, in other words, I'm not normal as I have 5.5 inches only when errect (and not too big unerect) ?

Also, it's not like the relationship is sexually orientated, although, from the summary, it may sound like it. As I said, we only did the phonesex/webcam stuff twice and happened early on. We've been on and off and I just don't really know what exactly she is feeling and I have to equate the fact that I'm not very endowed and may not fit her, but obviously, as you said, if she doesn't see past through my size, then there nothing to do there anyway!

Thanks for your comments

beks101

Honestly OP, you are over-thinking this to death.

Sure, most girls have their preferences in the bedroom department, as do most men, but we're generally pretty negotiable about this stuff as long as there's nothing too extreme going on down there.

Maybe you like big boobs, does that mean a less-ample lady will be a turn-off even if the chemistry and connection is already there?

Plus, you have yet to meet the lady, who's to say you won't have a personality clash, or be incompatible in any number of ways other than your penis size?

There's really no point in stressing and projecting your insecurities onto this one.

Miss Fluff

You seem incredibly invested in this girl when after a year you haven't gotten around to meeting one another...

DamagedTrax

Katy89 wrote: »

agree with the poster above, op, don't worry, your size is pretty normal standard size, unerected.

i think you've just about destroyed the confidence of 99% of the guys reading this post!

surely you mean erect!

Acoshla

Size only matters if it's so big that it hurts the girl or so small that it genuinely can't be felt, anywhere between about 4.5 inches and 7.5 inches erect is in the realms of normal, so at 5 inches without erection you are well within normal. It's not the size but what you do with it (and with the rest of you) that counts, seriously!

kraggy

OP, just to clear things up, 5.5 inches is average size when ERECT.

Whoever said unerected must be hanging out with Denis Rodman.

You are average size. And as you said, you've had no issues with previous parnters.

I really wouldn't dwell on it, especially in conversation with her. If she asks again, say it's average size but you like to think you know what you do with it. Ha ha etc.

Then move on and concentrate on chatting, getting on well etc.

Forget about it now. You're average size, which is more than enough.

kylith

OP, to echo everyone else 5.5 inches is around the average size of an erect penis.

If a girl likes you then the size of your willy matters not one jot. It really is what you do with it, rather than the size.

cafecolour

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You seem incredibly invested in this girl when after a year you haven't gotten around to meeting one another...

Yeah. This. I don't think penis size is really the problem. Have you dated/seen any other women while you've been chatting with her? There are a million reasons an online relationship can not work out in person.

Bipolar Joe

Around five is basically dead-on average, duder (PRO TIP: Almost all dudes lie about the size of their knob). You really want your confidence destroyed, go watch My Penis & I and My Penis & Everyone Else's. It'll destroy the confidence of pretty much any dude.

Point here is that, despite what you'll be told, this sh!t matters, but not as much as most dudes think (Coming from a guy with the same issues). From a psychological stand point, the nerves you're experiencing definitely won't help with the whole putting your penis in her vagina situation, if you catch my single entendre. Nervousness will screw you proper. If you got technique, that counts.

Honestly, if you're wicked nervous like you seem and this is wrecking your head, then I'd say pretty much exactly like you said. Be honest. If she reacts negatively, then it turns out she's not for you. If it helps yr ego, don't think of it as you not being good enough for her, think of it as why the Hell would you want to be in a relationship with someone who has that so high on her list of priorities when it comes to a man.

Lots of love,

Bipolar "Baby D!ck" Joe.

LegacyUser

OK this woman appears to be a "size queen" she has already eluded to this when stating all Irish men are supposed to be hung.. Along with the fact she knows your very tall at 6ft6...this could be her main reason for the online relationship...

While its true that 5.5 inches is average enough, the fact is that proportionatly speaking your penis size is quite small. You should be open and honest with the woman and not try and hide it. See how she feels and move on.

ted1

He never said he was Irish.
It's not the size of the boat it's the motion in the ocean.

Bipolar Joe

Let's hope she doesn't get sea-sick.

LegacyUser

I don't know what kind of relationship you're looking for with this girl - or whether you're looking for anything real with her - but as Miss Fluff said you sound incredibly invested in someone you haven't even met yet. You don't know who else she's having virtual sex with as well as you... I may be old-fashioned, but i wouldn't be into that type of thing with a complete stranger.

My last boyfriend was very tall (big hands, feet etc.) and before we slept together i was worried that he'd be too big - i even googled sexual positions for short girls and tall guys! I think he was probably similar in size to you - i didn't get out a measuring tape but i'd say it was about five inches or so. The first time we were together i was a little surprised - because of his height (and shoe size!) i'd been expecting him to be big. But he was great in bed and i was crazy about him. He was caring and gentle, but also extremely hot, and i thought the sex was great.

A big penis is not enough to be good in bed! If you know where a clitoris is, and you're good at oral sex, you're better equipped than a guy with a massive member! If you've experience, especially from a long relationship where you've gotten to know how to turn a girl on, that is also way more important than penis size. My previous boyfriend to the tall guy (who was quite short in height) had a really big penis (you really never can tell!!). He wasn't great in bed - a lot of rabbity type pounding away... you get the picture.

To be honest, you don't know this girl. If i was your friend (or your mum), i'd tell you to steer clear of her!! If you live in different continents, the most it's gonna be is a bit of sex when you meet in Greece. If i were you, i'd focus on finding a girl nearer to home who's interested in getting to know you as a person, and have great sex with her - rather than obsessing about someone who's looking for a guy with a big d1ck.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for your help!

You are right, I don't feel inadequate, it's the fact that I'm not proportional to the rest of my body that gives it a different perspective and always makes me feel uncomfortable when approaching a new girl. It's a serious issue for me and it affects my confidence, even if I've come a long way since my teenage days.

We've talked it up, in a certain way, where I did say I was no John Holmes and that I was afraid of her expectations based on the size of her toys and that I was pretty much average. She said "That is fine, I've seen the size of your hands... and I've had men that were tinnneey and at least you won't hurt, just be sure to use those hands!"

As for having invested too much, it does happen to be truth... whether that is a good thing or not, only time will tell. If things pan right, I'll re-awake this thread at some point to let y'all know.