Feeling used and need advice

LegacyUser

hi - ill try to keep this short. Kissed a guy i work with about 2 months ago for the first time! up to that point we were really good friends and had a brilliant friendship! roll on our first kiss and staying over in his house ( no sex) - he dropped me home the next day and we were both a bit giggly with nerves! how does one actually move from the friendship zone to that without a bit of awkwardness! Work was okay for the next few weeks there was still texting etc but there was talk of him going on a date with someone else! i didnt delve into the situation as i would rather not knwo! i was jealous! he left the country for a while and we kept contact - upon his return we ended up in each others company again one night with all the work crowd and i got really drunk and tried to kiss him - to which he declined! very embarrassing! however i got over it and apologised to him! Roll on 2 weeks ago when he ended up on my doorstep at 6am in the morning as he had been locked outof his house! he then declared his love for this other girl who happens to be a really good friend of mine! she had been with someone else and he was really jealous! i of course knew how he felt as i really liked him! Anyway my head was telling me that he was not comming into my bed and why would he want to anyway if he was pining after this other girl! - well short story my heart overruled my head and he ended up in my bed - no sex but same fondling as 2 months previous! now im so confused! everything was okay the next morning but the follwoing week in work was painful - no contact, nothing - barely speaking to me! i feel so used and i know its 100% my fault I should not have let him into my bed knowing he loved someone else - why didnt he ring her when he was locked out - can a guy really be with someone he has no interest in!
we have gone from constant contact - text messages, ringing eachother to nothing! awkwardness and its really getting me down! i work with him and can barely look at him now for the lack of respect he has shown me! i want him so bad now and its terrible cause i think about him all the time! Im afraid that someone in work is going to cop what is going on! i want to be able to enjoy my job without added stress of being the gossip of the office! he is way senior to me aswell which is much more frustrating!!!

i dont know what to do and if im honest i dont know waht i want from this post - advice to say it will be okay - things will go back to normal - maybe someone to tell me that he will want me in time - i dont know but i need some sort of advice as im really cut up about this!

sorry i didnt keep it that short! appreciate any responses even the harsh ones

LegacyUser

u werent used u let him do everything hes done

ive been there, we've all been there.... we want what we cant have and we want it bad


move on he will never treat u the way u want and deserve

IrishEyes19

There is such a big difference in being used and taking advantage.

He didnt take advantage, as you did allow him to be intimate, but yes he did use you. He used you to get over someone else and even maybe to make her jealous, so yes he used you. Just ignore him, to be honest he sounds like a creep, I know we have to accept that some people will never want more than a fling, but they should have the cop on not to keep seeing that person when they know they want more. Of course it works both ways too. Just the ignore the guy completely. Nothing sends out a message more than ignoring and moving on with your life. be happy yourself and let him off. My advice. Next time at 6am, dont open the door.