Girl in work....

LegacyUser

Hi, have a question Id like some female perspective on (but all input is welcome!)

Theres a person I work with, dont really know her at all, shes part of a different firm that have been contracted temporarily for the past couple of month to our company to help oversee a project. Basically, as you probably already guessed, I think shes quite attractive and would ultimately like to ask her out.

Background to it is; Im planning on leaving the company for another job in the coming two months and shes only here temporarily, so my attitude is kinda I have nothing to lose because there wouldnt be any major awkwardness around the building for ages after if I got a negative reaction. I dont know this girl much at all, have just passed in the corridor or in the canteen occassionally and said 'hi', 'how are things', etc. We're both in our mid-late 20's.

So, I was planning on maybe just striking up a conversation with her one day, asking for her number and saying Id like to take her out or something at some point, after my leaving date from the company is confirmed (so, as I mentioned earlier, there wouldnt be any real awkwardness if things didnt go to plan). I obviously wouldnt just stop her in the corridor or something and just say "Hey, Im X, I want your number" by the way :P

Question I have is, how would you react to someone asking you out based on the above? Is it way too direct, inappropriate to put someone in a position like that in their place of work, not something I should do? My own experience and opinion of it is that Im 27, Ive kinda got past the whole shyness of approaching girls, had enough regrets based on allowing shyness to get in my way before and am pretty confident in myself, and if the roles were reversed Id find it very flattering, but thats just me However, just that its a work environment, rather than some social setting is making me think its inappropriate, so any input would be very appreciated, and Ill definitely take it on board

Thanks

Zombrex

Does this girl know who you are? Or is she someone you have simply noticed from a far?

If that is the case I defo think you need to have a lot more interactions with her before you ask her out. It can be creepy to be asked out by someone you don't know but who gives the impression they know you.

If though it is the former, you both know each other professionally, then I would just ask her out (I'm guy btw). I find email is best, provides an embarrassment buffer, if she is not interested she has time to form a nice polite way to turn you down. And you can still compose a "No worries :-)" reply to her while fighting back the tears at your desk :P

santana75

Zombrex wrote: »

Does this girl know who you are? Or is she someone you have simply noticed from a far?

If that is the case I defo think you need to have a lot more interactions with her before you ask her out. It can be creepy to be asked out by someone you don't know but who gives the impression they know you.

If though it is the former, you both know each other professionally, then I would just ask her out (I'm guy btw). I find email is best, provides an embarrassment buffer, if she is not interested she has time to form a nice polite way to turn you down. And you can still compose a "No worries :-)" reply to her while fighting back the tears at your desk :P

I dont agree. Creepiness is not just some guy you've never met asking you out, its all about how you do it. Granted it can come across as creepy if you're too pushy or say weird things or act weird. But asking somebody out off the cuff isnt in itself creepy, its all about how you play it. And no this isnt PUA, its common sense.
OP you sound like you're putting way too much into the outcome of this thing. You gotta approach this from the pont of view that its just another ineraction, when you do that you wont feel like so much is at stake. And when you feel theres nothing at stake you're relaxed, and when you're relaxed she'll be relaxed and when that happens the chances of her saying yes if you do ask her out are very good. Keep the conversation light and funny, absolutley no heavy stuff. And if you do decide to ask her out say somethng like, "I was gonna grab some coffee later on if you'd like to go"
If she declines, just say no problem, see you later, and leave it at that.

Overheal

I took a whole training course on "Opening the Sale" once. The entire idea is you're not there to sell someone something (yet), you're just there. That whole concept of walking directly up to someone and asking them if they want to buy something, or in school walking directly up to a girl and spitting out "Hey will you go out with me?" is entirely out the window. Small talk is the name of the game. "Hello", /walk by /turn around, "say do you happen to know when [small talk topic]"... - and your ice is broken. The rest is up to you.

LegacyUser

OP here.

Thanks for the replies. As I said, I dont really know this girl, she doesnt actually work for my company, just there temporarily on contract to help oversee a project with a few other people.

To be honest, Im not nervous or shy or anything about the prospect of asking her out, worst that could happen is its a little awkward for a short while, whats holding me back is the thought its inappropriate to ask her out as if it makes her uncomfortable shes still obliged to come to this building everyday to do her work, and the other part was if it would be considered creepy.

Would definitely go with small talk and all and see how that went, wouldnt just stop her and ask her out :P

Thanks again for all the input, taking it all on board