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Afraid to make friends, trapped with anxity

  • 01-03-2012 10:26pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    I am a boards regular going anon for this post as I come accross so confident to those who know me on here but in reality, I'm living a life trapped with anxity fear and a dash of lonliness.

    just a bit of a back story:

    I used to be a very popular girl, never a shortage of "friends" and always out having the laugh, a few years ago one of these friends made up lies about me, which others believed, It got so bad I had to get the gaurds involved to try and get her to stop, this was physcologially scarring as my whole world fell apart and people who i would of trusted with my life turned there backs on me. It has since been said in public that all of these storys were made up.

    Things got so bad from all of this that I have been attending counciling for a year and a half and I am on anti depressants and sleeping tablets.

    I have a boyfriend that loves me very much, one close male friend and 3 work friends. so I have cut all girls out of my life I just cant make new friends after my last group abbandoned me on the word of a jealous lier.

    Everynight I go to sleep I dream of telling eveyonr that the rumar was not true, I feel like I am trapped with this, I get sleep paralized. I wake up and I dread it happening the next night all over again. I hate having to go to my hometown as I always think people are talking about me.

    I am getting help and I know theres only so much I can do I def think that physiologically bullying people is worst then physical at least if what happened me was physical the pai would stop.

    I am in my 20s, so this is not a teenage fued. What this person has done to me i will never get over, I also see why so many teenagers kill themselves, if i had not the support of my mum I would not have got through this at the time.

    I know this is a long rant and it makes n sence but I just needed to type it down. I am trepped in a cycle of pain for 2 years and i want to be the free and care free girl i once was


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