Dont know where i stand

LegacyUser

i broke up with my ex gf about a year ago cause she got a job in
a different country and moved there.the first couple of months it we acted
like we where still together calling each other all the time saying "i miss you" etc etc.
then we talked less.but anytime she was down/depressed or really drunk she would
call me again. and be all i miss etc again.
then she comes back to ireland every few months for a few days.but when she is
back she will call and meet her other friends first, even though when shes abroad
shes saying she really wants to she see and stuff.any times i do see her when shes
back is usually when she drunk after a night out.she'll call me and stay the night.
we would be great and all during the night and next day til she leaves.i'll try make
plans to meet up later the week for lunch or dinner,she says yes but then come the day
she'll change her mind.
so am i just a booty call?only really calls or wants to see me when shes drunk or sad.

Abi

OP, take control of the situation here. You're aware of the pattern, so put a stop to it. Ask her out straight what she wants from you, and anything less than 'I want us to get back together' then you put stop to her sleeping over, and start 'missing' those drunk texts and calls.

Im sorry to say OP, but I'm not optimistic that she wants a relationship with you, but for the sake of closure for yourself, confront her.

LegacyUser

ok thanks for that.
can i ask you why you think she acts this way?

I am a friend

Confused09876 wrote: »

can i ask you why you think she acts this way?

Cos you are feeding her ego....

ihsb

Maybe she does this because she still loves you. But more than likely, she likes having you around to make her feel good about herself. Some people need this type of ego-massage. Having someone that wants and needs them to make them feel better. It is not a good way to behave so put a stop to it! Lucky you can notice that your emotions are being played with.

Abi

Confused09876 wrote: »

ok thanks for that.
can i ask you why you think she acts this way?

Sorry for being so brutal, but I'm afraid that she knows you're good for an ego boost / booty call when she needs it.

You can can do a lot better than that OP. You're not giving yourself a chance at true happiness so long as you're carrying a torch for this girl. If she doesn't come up with the right answer, and I doubt she will - put some space between you, and tell her you're not interested in being used.

GrafenPills

I can only be direct op....
You are being used. Everything I say further is just something you have to think of....

Why does she choose friends first over you.
Why does she usually see you when drunk.

SheFiend

Sorry OP. It wasn't clear from your post: do you ever visit her? Maybe she thinks you have a casual relationship. Sounds like you do, to me.

LegacyUser

SheFiend wrote: »

Sorry OP. It wasn't clear from your post: do you ever visit her? Maybe she thinks you have a casual relationship. Sounds like you do, to me.

yeah sorry for not putting in the detail in the first post.
we went out for a little over a year.things was grand.
than broke up abit over a year.
visited her once when she first moved away for a week to help her settle down.

but yeah think all the others have been right.
either she a bi*ch using me or she just too immature to know what she wants.(shes abit younger than me)
and ive just been a retard blinded by what used to be or could have been.

thanks for the replies

SheFiend

Seems like you have your answer. If you're unhappy with her taking or leaving you when she pleases, tell her this. If nothing changes, you'd best just leave her.