Suggestive Golfing Terms

blue note

Does anyone else find that an outrageous amount of golf terms could be used in telling an x-rated tale? If I end up talking about golf with non-golfers they'll often get a chuckle out of boning shots or soft balls.

Having used these terms for years I thought I'd become conditioned to not find them funny, but last year when I bought my gap wedge that changed on account of a hot Australian using all of these terms - stiff shaft, boning, penetrating. I wondered was she trying to make me laugh. She called a lob wedge a lobby.

k.p.h

I don't really know what to say to this....

I was out on the 4th green the other day and I had a big bender that lipped around the rim, just the way it go's somethimes.

foxyboxer

Never Up, Never In.

newport2

foxyboxer wrote: »

Never Up, Never In.

Aaagh! You've just ruined that phrase for me. How did I not cop that?

I remember a guys wife getting really annoyed when he referred to one of her shots as a bit fat. Needless to say all her subsequent ones were a bit thin.

Interesting thread, I'd never thought about this though, there is quite a lot of terminology devoted to golf shots. Fat, thin, drilled, skulled, flushed, bombed, shanked, pulled, pushed, sliced, hooked, wellied, cut, fade, draw, etc, etc. It must be bewildering starting off!

golfnut1

Yes, reading this thread the terms
"Hole in one"and "holing out" well never seem the same again.

blue note

I was playing on Sunday and almost stuck a long one in the hole. My partner got his shorter one in. Our other partner was wet from his tee shot so scrubbed the hole.

I was in a threesome a couple of weeks before that and unintentionally went for the wrong hole. My partner was a bit annoyed, but it was an accident.

newport2

blue note wrote: »

I was playing on Sunday and almost stuck a long one in the hole. My partner got his shorter one in. Our other partner was wet from his tee shot so scrubbed the hole.

I was in a threesome a couple of weeks before that and unintentionally went for the wrong hole. My partner was a bit annoyed, but it was an accident.

Was there two or four balls in the threesome though?

golfnut1

blue note wrote: »

I was playing on Sunday and almost stuck a long one in the hole. My partner got his shorter one in. Our other partner was wet from his tee shot so scrubbed the hole.

I was in a threesome a couple of weeks before that and unintentionally went for the wrong hole. My partner was a bit annoyed, but it was an accident.

He right to be annoyed that's OB.

newport2

When I was younger, I used to love face inserts

deandean

A group I used to play with, we were gonna form a society and call it The Hole Scratchers.

spacecoyote

Was playing a 3-ball scramble recently. The first player hit the green. I turned to the other lad and said "Now, if we can just get our balls inside his..." which was met with a suitably childish giggle

Dtoffee

Comment from a lady member following a long drive in a scramble ..... 'Oh I love playing with the men, they always have you in different positions' !!

Needless to say, she knew exactly what she was saying

SuprSi

I've often laughed at this too. How often in the real world could you use 'gripping down the shaft' and 'stroking it' in the same sentence without shocking those in earshot!

Kace

Worked on a course in the Rockies in my youth and the boys over there had some different terms.

We used to head out to squeeze some seeds. There were plenty of tour blows with the best ending up in centre mow.

Used to kill me to have to go and shag balls all morning though.