Poetry in progress

Mojo Risin'

Hey all,

I've been working on some poems for a while now, just looking for some feedback, thoughts, views on it! Been reading through some threads here lately and thought i'd share a little bit of my own

Thanks for reading!

Birth

Who-else may inspire such feigning grace,
Where birth may prise this prismed stone,
Through semester trice in order, may new life akin to grow,
Who-else can refute our longing, lest our love descend and blossom,
Blessing cupids blessed arrow, repent not holy this union'd fate

Pasteured seedling ever growing, a counselled sense pervades ones soul,
Through semester twice in order, emaciated Hades throw
Now three spring mornings in succession, an urchined mother bleeds and dours,
Feeding life in matron order, belayed the cockels of her brood

With first semester now in order, it's here in death one breeds new life,
A winters child born in no manger, ranks us highest,
Love's now ripe.

PurpleBee

I found it difficult to read, it seems like Elizabethan English,

are these verbs madey uppy? pasteured, urchined and belayed? Pasteured immediately had me thinking you were pasteurising the child. Urchined is a great word, I like it.

But I get the sense at times you're trying to sound like John Donne without paying full attention to whether there is any sense to be had....