Giving up

s.a.man

I am male of 34 years of age...

For the last few years I have been severely suffering with anxiety and depression and it is starting to effect my work as well, I feel paranoid that everyone is out to get me, its making me exhausted and I really have no control over my emotions anymore! One day I could wake up feeling a whole different person than I did yesterday and this is getting to me.... I dont know what to do, I have of late been thinking a lot just to end it once and for all with my life, but I return to live a life that I dread and to listen to family members just dont help as I grew up in a very old fashioned way where things like mental problems was never discussed or even brought up!

I dont know what to do, I have been told to go on medication, but having to rely on meds scare me a little, I dont know if this would help me in the long run! I am crying while I am typing this, I have nothing left to give, today I feel like my world have just turned upside down, I just cant explain it, but I know its weighing heavy on my shoulders!

What to do... thank you for any advice giving.

Paddy Bateman

s.a.man wrote: »

I am male of 34 years of age...

For the last few years I have been severely suffering with anxiety and depression and it is starting to effect my work as well, I feel paranoid that everyone is out to get me, its making me exhausted and I really have no control over my emotions anymore! One day I could wake up feeling a whole different person than I did yesterday and this is getting to me.... I dont know what to do, I have of late been thinking a lot just to end it once and for all with my life, but I return to live a life that I dread and to listen to family members just dont help as I grew up in a very old fashioned way where things like mental problems was never discussed or even brought up!

I dont know what to do, I have been told to go on medication, but having to rely on meds scare me a little and I dont know if I this would help me in the long run! I am crying while I am typing this, I have nothing left to give, today I feel like my world have just turned upside down, I just cant explain it, but I know its carrying heavy on my shoulders!

What to do... thank you for any advice giving.

Get medical advise from professionals and follow it.

saa

The fear of what medication might do is worse than how much anxiety can control my life I havent stayed on them but if the side effects were not as bad as my symptoms then I would consider it, meds are not for everyone but its worth talking about it with a professional, talking first is best as you will be able to see how much that helps, change as much as you can in your life and seek medical assistance for what you cannot do alone, no one will force you onto meds if you go to talk to your doctor.

Are you thinking of killing yourself? if you have do not worry about any other factors just get yourself to a safe place, go to a and e if you need to, if your anxiety and depression is high but you are not feeling suicidal then take a few moments to relax and figure out what is the next step you can take (not how you're going to fix everything).

Marcus_Crassus

Your post outlines, quite clearly, the way I used to be.

Seriously, there's no shame in seeking help. There's really only a stigma about mental health in the older generation in this country, it doesn't really pervade in the younger people. I was on Lexapro and attended a counsellor; none of my friends even batted an eyelid. Nobody cares, as long as you're happy and you're getting the help you need. Most of them would pull me off to one side and ask how I was doing when we were all out together.

It was hard to say and explain to my parents at first, but that's only because they're quite old. Their generation didn't talk about this sort of thing -- it was a 'shut up and soldier on' attitude. They gradually understood what I was going through and were always supportive. Although, admittedly, I didn't tell them I was seeking help for a long time.

I used to be afraid to walk down the road because I was paranoid to bits, but that has all changed now. I feel liberated. Please don't live your life with this fear; it's consuming you, it's exhausting and it's controlling your life! You even said it's impacting upon your work.

Go to your doctor. Please.

talullah

Go to your gp, they will refer you to a councellor and it will be the first step to your recovery. Believe me, it's not an easy recovery but I found that getting help and knowing you're not alone is a relief. I myself am suffering depression, anxiety, paranoia etc and and only on the start of getting better, but once I made that step it took a little weight of my shoulders and I like to think i'm getting there, slowly but surely.

Arequipa

Hey! Hang in there. Life is short & is precious. In the course of life we all face challenges which with help & support we can overcome & come out aa stronger people.

I have battled anxiety, OCD & low self esteem all my life.
If your family are not a gr8 support, do whatever it takes to make yourself better.

I would

1) go to. GP
2) get a referral for therapy.
3) consider medication
4) start looking after yourself; lots of exercise, healthy food & get put & talk to people, friends... Try & be sociable...

The support is there... Go out and get it....
Good luck!

Arequipa.

*eadaoin

Anxiety & depression are very treatable, you have so many options so please seek out some help, don't suffer alone. It's incredibly hard to deal with these kinds of problems on your own, I know how isolated they can make you feel but all it takes to start a process of recovery is reaching out and asking for some help.

Medication is only one option, you don't have to go down that route if you don't want to, at least not unless you're at an extreme and in danger of hurting yourself. And in that case you can use it just to help you get back up on your feet again, not as a crutch to learn on if that's what worries you.

Your first step should be to talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is highly recommended for anxiety problems, it will help you to break the cycles of negative thought that keep you locked in fear. Psychotherapy or counselling types of talk therapy can work wonders for clearing out your head, reshaping your view of the world and helping you to rebalance. Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) can teach you some techniques to deal with anxiety attacks and reframe your thoughts to positive ones.

Don't be ashamed to ask for the help of a therapist or a doctor, they'll have seen people with your kind of problems every day of the week and will be very happy to give you help. However beware of a doctor who will just prescribe you drugs without talking about your other options, unless they believe that you are in a seriously bad place and are concerned for your safety. Medication alone is not always an answer, recovery takes hard work on your behalf, you have to be willing to make an effort to get better.

Exercise is incredibly important for both anxiety & depression problems. It will naturally produce chemicals in your body that will lift your mood on a regular basis, and it will also keep you busy so you don't have time to dwell on negative thoughts. Try to get a couple of exercise sessions in during a week, or at least get out for a short brisk walk every day. Yoga is wonderful for your kind of problems, it will give you both exercise as well as breathing methods and positions that will calm your body and mind.

The importance of a good diet should never be underestimated when it comes to dealing with anxiety and depression. If you're not eating enough, or if you're eating too much of the wrong foods it can add to the stress you're feeling. Cutting out foods that agitate your nervous system will help you to relax, so keep things like excess sugar, alcohol, caffeine and acid producing foods to a minimum. If you're anxious don't even drink tea or coke, I know they're fairly tame but they keep your body feeling on edge. And certainly keep things like Red Bull well away from you. Eating regularly will keep your blood sugar stable - low blood sugar can often be the culprit behind anxiety and panic attacks, as well as low moods.

If you're waking up in a difficult mood then low blood sugar can often be to blame. Try and eat a decent breakfast as soon as you can after waking up, no sugary cereals and no tea/coffee. Something like Special K/museli with some slices of banana in it can work wonders (banana will go into your blood stream quickly and give you a natural sugar boost).

When you're stressed your body uses up B vitamins and magnesium - all of these are necessary to keep your nervous system calm and happy, so it can really help to top up. The easiest thing to do is to take a Berocca when you're having a stressful day. Or go to your local health food shop and ask for a Vitamin B complex with Magnesium. (Vitamin B supplements, Berocca included, will turn your pee really bright yellow, so don't freak out!).

Smoking can aggratave anxiety, it's best not to. Similarly taking drugs can have an adverse effect, don't listen to anyone who might tell you to smoke marijuana in order to help you relax, as it's known to make anxiety problems worse.

I find a particular hypnosis CD for dealing with stress really helpful and very soothing to listen to on a regular basis, it's called Relieve Stress With Medical Hypnosis by Steven Gurgevich. You might find something like it helpful, it's an inexpensive way to learn to relax at home.

It's essential to learn the importance of learning how to properly relax and also to spend time doing things that make you happy. If you wake up having a bad day then put on your favourite tunes loudly, write out your worries in a journal (this can be very cathatric) and go out and do something that you love, don't give the anxiety time to take hold.

All of these things might seem small or silly, but they are all important, and combining all of these methods will give you a great start on dealing with your problems and I hope will help to give you a sense of taking control and self empowerment. I've had trouble with similar problems over the years, and have learned a lot about how to deal with them.

Wishing you luck on your journey, and don't hesitate to call your doctor for an appointment tomorrow morning x

The Jammy dodger

I have this anxiety problem too. I'm not sure if I have depression to go with it. But it can make you feel like you dont wanna go outside your door just in case you have an ''attack''

Anxiety is due to too much stress either conciously or lying somewhere in the subconscious and it just triggers without you even wanting it too. The main thing is you need to find somewhere extremely quiet, and have some soft meditation for a while. Take baby steps in getting it fixed. I find walking around the block once or twice helps. Then a week later take a further step at walking around your local town. But be sure to find time to recollecting yourself and finding a way to de-stress.

There is a book by irish Dr.Aine Turbidy called ''When Panic Attacks'' and this book I found to be a great help. It comes with a CD for meditation and she helps you through it. I recommend getting the headphones on and lying down flat on your bed or just sitting up on a hard chair with your back straight helps when listening to the cd that comes with the book. You can purchase this CD at Easons or online.

When we all realise that we are not alone in suffering this anxiety and that everyone gets it we can then begin to feel a lot more relaxed about it and bringing about its cure.

I agree about meds. One doctor told me that he didnt want to put me on meds because he was afraid I would become dependent upon them and told me it is just pure pshychological but another doctor quite happily prescribed me the meds, however I never used them and especially when I got this book which helped me enormously.

Mr. Loverman

If you are drinking a lot of alcohol, give it up. I've noticed since I've hit my 30s that regular alcohol consumption severely affects my moods. When I give up booze altogether I am consistently very happy and chilled.