I'm the noisy neighbour!

LegacyUser

Hi folks,
So there's usually a lot of roommate/neighbour problems on here... but this one is from the other angle... apparently I'm THAT neighbour.

So I moved into my own 1 bed apartment a few months back.

Anyway, I just had a neighbour from below come up complaining to me about the music. I had some music in the background but to be fair as I stood at the door talking to her you couldn't even hear it in the next room with the door open. It was just a "normal" level, nothing excessive.

She also mentioned she hears lots of banging and things being banged and dropped late and other noise at night. Now again, I guess I stay up until 12 or 1 some nights but I don't go around banging or dropping anything. The only thing I know of is a squeeky floorboard near the bedroom door.

So here's the thing. I don't want to be "THAT" guy but as I said, I live here on my own, I'm quiet in general, don't have music/tv on very loud, etc.. Having said that I know the walls are little thin in the bulding so what do I do? It's the same for everyone. I can hear the neighbours too but nobody is excessivly loud, you just hear people moving around from time to time or their TV or something, so I'm not going to go mad over that.

So I don't know what to do really. I just told her I was sorry and I'll be more careful as I just wasn't expecting her at my door right then. I don't want to be THAT guy but at the same time I think she was over-reacting. I don't want to start something off with her and her husband now but we are all in the same both living in the building, we can't all tip-toe around so nobody hears a single sound.

mikemac1

You're paying good money in rent, nobody is expecting you to tip toe and be hesitant and second guess every move in your own flat

Developers and the councils who were supposed to regulate have a lot to answer for
You say you have a bedroom, when I first read your post I thought you were in a bedsit, one of these old houses that landlords split up into flats

If you want to play some music then go for it, you've said it's not loud

She probably does hear noise but it's not realy your fault, more the thin ceiling.
Ok don't wear heels on the wooden floor but unless she wants you in bed by ten pm every night what is she expecting?

Another thing is I used to put on my washing machine and go to bed until the neighbours downstairs complained.
So I went to theirs to listen and to be fair, it was very loud so that was reasonable to complain over
So do your washing in the evening, that might help too

LovelyLottie

Hey 'THAT neighbour'

Living in an apartment myself, i think she's overreacting. You have to be prepared to accept a bit of noise in an apartment block, that's the way it goes. Is it possible that your apartment was empty for a while before you moved in and she's not used to hearing noise? Be polite etc. to her, but don't be tip-toeing around. You know yourself if the levels of noise you're creating are excessive or not.

Don't let her intimidate you. If she comes up again, say in a polite but firm way that you are trying your best to be respectful, you don't feel that you're making too much noise and that you're entitled to move around the apt irrespective of what time it is! She might expect you to be silent, but you don't have to be. Perhaps if it continues to be an issue, mention it to your landlord just to cover your ass.

Is she an owner? If she is, she might feel entitled to complain about noise...

If there's a management company, they would have house rules about noise etc. Usually it's after 12 and before 7 or something. Outside those hours you are allowed to make normal levels of noise - cos guess what, you live there!

Parties etc. are a different matter, but people dropping stuff upstairs on wooden floors, or hearing loud music through the sitting room wall is just the way it is with apartments. I hear both these things and the sound-proofing in my apartment is very good. I've never complained because they don't last long and i do them myself.

In other apartments i've lived in over the years i've heard couples having (fairly quiet) sex upstairs and an alarm clock going off next door. She's being picky! Good luck

MariMel

Ive lived in apartments before and I always found it strange that I could hear more of what went on upstairs than in the next room in my own apt. Its the same in the house I live in now. I can hear every foot step upstairs and nothing from the living room if i am in the kitchen which is next door.
It is just the music she is complaining about?
One thing that is really noisy is someone in heels walking across a wooden floor. Even in the house I am in now I can tell you where in the house the lady next door is by listening to her heels on the flooring. Im one people who doesnt wear shoes in the house so maybe I am more aware of that noise.
But some people just hate noise and are not at all accepting of any noise that they havent themselves made. My mother hates noise, gives out when the tv is too loud yet she turns it up much louder when it is her programme!

Daisy M

If she continues to complain ask her to come up as soon as she hears what she deems to be too much noise. That way you will know for sure if your tv/music is too high or if you are doing something in particular that is creating noise. If she comes up and see/hears that music/tv is not on excessively loud she might just accept that the problem is with the apartment rather than you.

saa

I'm assuming you mean you play music til 1? It may sound like she is overreacting but its not clear what are the boundaries, in my opinion you should agree on a cut off time and realistically once in a blue moon there might be a bit of noise on a saturday night.

I have "That neighbour" and I don't mind it so much, I know even the tv sounds loud from the next room at a normal level so playing music is going to be a problem only if its after 11pm some people have kids, some people are sick and some people have to get up early and you may be paying good rent but you chose to go to an apartment I know 1am might not seem that bad but don't be responsible for someone lying in their bed for four-five hours tossing and turning with ear plugs in and pillows over their head.

Luckily my neighbour has stopped the playing music til 6am, ha I know I sound so narky in this post :pac:

LegacyUser

Hi,
Just to clarify. I don't play music or make noise until 1am. If I am up that late I probably have the TV on low or am working on my laptop, I'm not making any noise at all.

When she called up it was about 7pm on Friday. I was playing some music but not at an excessive level and it wasn't all that late.

So when she called I just said sorry, I would turn down the music and I didn't realise she could hear it below me (which I didn't as it wasn't blaring or anything).

But after she mentioned the music she then said there was a lot of noise in the past few weeks especially late at night. This was the part that bugged me. I can get over being asked to turn down the music but it sounds like I'm the problem neighbour now. I really dont make any noise, I keep tv/music low if they are on and I don't drop or bang things like she said she heard.

So I'm presuming that since the walls, floors are thin she is probably hearing every movement I make and making a problem of it. She said she never had this problem with the "small girl who lived here before me". If she hears banging or thumping that's probably me walking around or closing a cupboard, I really don't bang or thump things but she must be hearing every sound.

To be honest I think its stupid, everyone living there knows the walls are thin so you cant expect total silence but everyone around me seems to keep the levels low and so do I out of courtesy. I don't wear shoes once inside or anything like that.

In all fairness, I don't know what to think. I'll leave it go and see if she complains more and I'll just have to stand up a little more and just say I'm really doing my best but can't tip toe around.

Starokan

She definitely sounds a little over the top if its as low volume as that. Still though she obviously is hearing something that affects her. You could compromise perhaps wear headphones for music after say 11pm , wear slippers or trainers instead of shoes boots when in your apt.

Apart from that it sounds to me like your being pretty considerate already, i mean you cant tiptoe around either afraid to move.

LovelyLottie

Ok your 2nd post has confirmed for me that she is being unreasonable.

At 7 pm on a Friday, you're actually entitled to have the music blaring if you want to. But out of courtesy you don't because you know the walls are thin. To have it at a medium level is completely acceptable, even if she can hear it.

I'm sorry but in an apartment block you are allowed walk around (even in shoes on wooden floors, shock horror), you are allowed play music, watch the TV, speak, open cupboards, accidentally drop things on the noisy wooden floors etc. - other people in close proximity may or may not hear all this, but because they life in an apartment block they have to suck it up, because that's how it is.

I would definitely check your house rules with the management company - check is it 11 pm or 12 pm for 'quiet time'. If your landlord is nice, speak to him/her and suss out this issue - you never know, this person may have been a complainer before. I feel for you - this woman sounds like a total pain in the @rse.

By the way, she should move to my block - parties on balconies all summer long. I'd like to see how long she lasts.

mikemac1

Calling to complain at 7pm on a weekend night is ridiculous

There can be compromise here but you've been very reasonable and she almost wants you to be a timid mouse in your own flat, afraid to do anything at all

I'd also call your landlord and tell them the story.
You're a good tenant and no landlord will want to lose a good paying tenant
Just give them a heads up whats happening, they don't have to do anything but you're getting your story across

She may complain about you somewhere like a management company and when the landlord asks you then you'd be defensive

sambuka41

She is the one who is out of order here. Its hard to deal with these people because they are so convinced that they are entitled to everything they want. They are so sure they are in the right that you start to doubt yourself!!

I lived above a girl like that before, it was in a bedsit in the old houses, she complained that she could hear me walking around (I'm a tiny girl), so I got a mat for the wooden floor and wore slippers. Then it was the tv, so I kept it down, the last straw was when she came up at 8am and asked if I could stop talking as she could hear me downstairs :eek: I ever so politely told her to get a grip!!!!! The landlord thought the whole thing was hilarious, he was on my side :D He told me not to open the door to her again,she wasn't there for much longer, he suggested to her that she should move if she had a problem with noise!! (found out after she wasn't even paying her rent, but had the cheek to spout crap about her right to enjoy her own space:mad:)

m'lady

Some people should just not live in apartments or even in some cases a semi detached house! I think your neighbour is over reacting op and I would not pander to her a minute longer to be honest. Be respectful yes, don't play loud music after 11pm etc.. but don't let yourself become paranoid, afraid to make any kind of noise.
She needs to realise that she is living in an apartment complex and has to expect a certain amount of noise.. unless she is twinkle toes on her feet, doesnt watch TV, listen to music, talk etc she makes noise too! ( the people below her or next to her just aren't as petty as her!)

It reminds me of when I moved into my first apartment, all chuffed with myself, started hoovering at 2pm on a friday, next minute the door bell rang and I saw it was the next door neighbour..in my innocence thought she was welcoming me to the 'neighbourhood', the oul b**** was whining about the fact that I was hoovering!!!

tyview

OP if she comes up again about the music, invite her in so she can see how loud it is in your apt. Then walk back downstairs to her apt with her without turning it down or off, and she will be able to see how thin the ceiling is for herself and that it is not you being unreasonable or selfish.

going un-reg

OP, By law you're allowed to play music fairly loud up until 11pm at night. ( I don't know what categorizes loud, but Im assuming it's nothing arrogantly loud)

If you don't care too much for your neighbours, ignore her. I've dealt with picky neighbours down through the years, ignorance is bliss is a phrase I've often used.

I'm not going to alter the way I live because someone else's preferences are anal. If you're not over stepping your boundaries, you shouldn't let it bother you. Continue living how you're living. If she approaches you again, just defend your position, stating it's not you and that she should investigate elsewhere, in a civil way of course.

Nothingbetter2d

beentherebefore wrote: »

Hi folks,
So there's usually a lot of roommate/neighbour problems on here... but this one is from the other angle... apparently I'm THAT neighbour.

So I moved into my own 1 bed apartment a few months back.

Anyway, I just had a neighbour from below come up complaining to me about the music. I had some music in the background but to be fair as I stood at the door talking to her you couldn't even hear it in the next room with the door open. It was just a "normal" level, nothing excessive.

She also mentioned she hears lots of banging and things being banged and dropped late and other noise at night. Now again, I guess I stay up until 12 or 1 some nights but I don't go around banging or dropping anything. The only thing I know of is a squeeky floorboard near the bedroom door.

So here's the thing. I don't want to be "THAT" guy but as I said, I live here on my own, I'm quiet in general, don't have music/tv on very loud, etc.. Having said that I know the walls are little thin in the bulding so what do I do? It's the same for everyone. I can hear the neighbours too but nobody is excessivly loud, you just hear people moving around from time to time or their TV or something, so I'm not going to go mad over that.

So I don't know what to do really. I just told her I was sorry and I'll be more careful as I just wasn't expecting her at my door right then. I don't want to be THAT guy but at the same time I think she was over-reacting. I don't want to start something off with her and her husband now but we are all in the same both living in the building, we can't all tip-toe around so nobody hears a single sound.

i have a neighbour above me like that... always whining about the music... it have it at the lowest setting possible and he still whines.... yet he and his missus are very noisy when they walk around (it sounds like a herd of elephants)... none of the other neighbours have ever complained to me about the noise. (i live in a middle floor 1bed flat in a house that was divided into 6 flats with 2 flats on each floor). but he whines at all of us about the noise we make... noone in any of the other flats like him.

Lollymcd

I often wonder how much noise I make, no one has ever complained, either I have very tolerant neighbours or very good insulation.

The folks in the apartment across from us had a moving in party that went on until all hours and was quite loud as it spilled into the hall. Even though we were kept awake until about 4am we said nothing and now months on it hasn't been repeated and I haven't fallen out with neighbours! I think if you live in an apartment you just have to be tolerant and get on with people.

I can't help but ask... I hope it doesn't get me banned or reprimanded, did she seem... well... a little odd? (you know what I mean!)