Work, College & Life!

LegacyUser

I'm feeling very stressed & exhausted lately.

I recently began studying for a degree. This is distance learning over 4 years, and on top of my Mon - Fri 9-5 job. There is so much reading & information to get through and tight assignment deadlines. I spend a few hours each evening studying & completing assignments as well as most of the weekends. I'm finding the current topic really difficult to understand, and the assignment submission is next week!

Work is getting stressful too. As times are tough the company is struggling. We're all being expected to go the extra mile, give more and more effort, start earlier, stay late etc. which is fine. I've no issue with that and I'm prepared to give more in order to survive the tough times.

But it seems as if some of us are giving more than others which frustrates me.

Also, with the extra hours in work as well as the study - I have no time for a life.

The only other thing I really had going on in my life is running. I'm training for an event at the moment - only training has taken a hit because of work & study commitments. I was a little overweight, but sticking to a healthy diet as well as my training was getting me back in shape. The past couple of weeks I've been eating more & more junk food, and less of the healthy stuff.

I had planned on keeping up my running by getting up earlier in the mornings and training then. But now (especially the past few days) I've been in bed before 10pm, and I physically can't drag myself out of bed in the mornings. I'm sure this is due to my diet turning to junk food again! The lack of training and eating more junk has led to my weight going back up - so that has me feeling like sh*t too.

I know what I have to do - but I can't seem to find the motivation to do it anymore!

HELP!!!

Ectoplasm

Hi OP,

Your post could have been written by me this time last year. I sympathise entirely. Firstly, deciding to study on top of working full time is hard - doing it by distance learning is harder still. I've done both and the effort required is to be applauded. From my experience though, with distance learning there is a great degree of flexibility and generally a decent level of support.

I'd suggest that you contact your tutor - I avoided doing this until my second year of distance learning, I thought you only really spoke to them at tutorials or to ask quick questions. That's not the case at all, they are a support to your learning and if you're struggling, it's time to use that support.

If you are struggling with a topic, try to identify what it is that is causing you difficulty - the whole topic, a particular approach to it, etc. When you've identified that, contact your tutor outlining your problem and request a time to speak to them. Consider getting an extension on an assignment (although I do realise this can cut into other deadlines).

What I found when I was in your situation was that 'losing control' in one area tended to spin out to lost control everywhere (work, personal). The best suggestion I can make is to break everything down into tiny, tiny managable goals and include the things you are already doing.

Meeting goals is motivating and they don't need to be big. It's more a case of realising how much you actually are managing to get done and focusing more on your successes. Rather than trying to sort EVERYTHING out, make a list, and attack it in order of importance. If getting that assignment done is top of the list, then give yourself permission to focus on that and allow yourself to postpone focussing on things that are lower down the list.

This has been pretty longwinded, my apologies. The final bit of advice I can give you is to give yourself some time for yourself. If you are so stressed to the point of being ineffective, then making time to destress should actually go to the very top of your list as only by relaxing will you get more done - it sounds counterintuitive but it's true.

Best of luck OP.

boobar

Ok first of all, your health is important and if running is your thing you need to set time aside for it. You won't feel **** if you exercise and eat well.

This is hard to do sometimes as you feel you should dedicate all your time to work or study. But if you do exercise and eat properly, the time spent at work and study will be much more effective.

Now on the work front, every one is aware of how tough things are. Most people are putting in extra hours and effort, but if you see others sitting back you can get frustrated or learn to say no. It's that simple. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong.

Now on the study front, I completed a degree and post-grad diploma through distance education, I know how difficult and even lonely it can be. But there are ways to get round this. First you must understand that you can't let it take over your life. Also accept that there are areas you will excel in and areas that will challenge you. I found it hugely helpful to join a study group and share the workload. For example, I would read all the extra material on a particular topic and summarise it for the rest of the group. Then another member of the group would do the same for another subject. Now that means that you won't be getting the complete deep understanding of the topic that someone who has read all the material will have, but let's face it, you're trying to get a balance between work, college and personal life so you need to make choices.

The study group thing doesnm't have to be people meeting at a particular location. You could do this over the phone, via email, skype, moodle. If anything it will leave you feeling less isolated, which can be a massive downer, I know.

I think it's great when people take on these challenges but look you have to have a life as well. How bad would it be to work regular hours without being a complete hero (maybe not even appreciated or even noticed)? How bad would it be to just pass the first three years of your degree and then put in some extra effort to get an honour?

Best of luck to you.

Agent J

Are you sure you're not me about a year or so ago?

First thing i'll tell you is to keep the running up. Once you lose it it's a bitch to regain. It helps balance out the stress and full of yummy endorphins.

One problem at a time. If your weight suffers a bit because you have been focusing so much on college. It happens. Dont beat yourself up over it.

What you are trying to do is very difficult and only people who have tried to do the same can really understand it(imho). As for the no life thing, i just ended up accepting that for the duration to be honest. I keep touch with friends & when i have a free week or so(which is rare) i shedule in as many things as possible but general personal life has to take a back seat.

Academics. People will probably disagree with me on this but the whole thing about learning to understand the subject... Yeah it's ideal but you probably will have to jettison that idea. Figure out what gets you marks & that is your mission. Be assignment & exam centric.

Try setting short term goals for yourself & write them down.
Whiteboards in your room are handy for this.

You have to be ruthless with your time. Figure out where your priorites on a daily, monthly etc basis & if you dont have time to do something then you dont have time to do it. Dont beat yourself up too much. Stuff is going to slide just try to not let it slide too far.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the support everyone.

For some reason I'm in a much better frame of mind the past couple of days. Especially this morning - it was gorgeous out and felt like spring for the first time this year!

My assignment that is due in a couple of days is getting done (slowly but surely) which is relieving some of the pressure. Then it's on to the next topic!!

I'm planning on writing off this weekend with regard to anything except college. I'm giving myself this weekend to concentrate on getting this assignment done and submitted (I'm having a lunch break at the moment!).

Then come Monday it's 'back in the zone' as the OH says to me all the time! Have to make a conscious effort to eat right, make time for exercise, and try to balance study with some time for relaxation.

Regarding work - I don't actually mind giving the extra effort as I know this will benefit me as well as the company in the long run. So I'm not going to get hung upon what others do. Just concentrate on what I do.

It's good to know there are others who have gone through the same things and have come out the other side! I'm aware that my 'problems' aren't really problems at all when compared to what some people have to face, so I should count myself lucky in that regard I suppose.

Thanks again to all for the words of encouragement.

mr_edge_to_you

Fair play to you. I spent 7 years studying to get professional exams while working full time. It is very hard to juggle work/life/study.

You want to ensure that your remains at a high standard. In my case I often had to head early in the morning so I could get out on time to go to college in the evenings.

Despite everyone's advice about priorities you can't put life on hold. Even with the support of a great partner you still need to spend time doing normal things. The lawn still has to be cut, dishes washed, shirts ironed.

And then you have the studying. Speaking from experience distance learning is very very tough. In my case I was going through a 400 page text book trying to learn a subject. Then a year later I went to lectures and I was shocked to realise that only 30% of what's in the book is required to pass the exam. At the end of the day that's what it's all about. Preparing sufficiently to pass that exam. In this regard I would suggest setting up a study group so you can all share some of the work. Might not be possible with distance learning. But you could look through the college/university threads and make contact with someone who is doing the course full time. As you can see, people on boards are quite friendly and helpful. They might be able to to help you focus on the core issues of the syllabus as opposed to the massive reams of text in a college text book.

I don't know how many weekends I said to myself "right, this Monday evening I'll start studying properly". I'd go in to work and have a rough day, end up finishing at 7 pm. By the time I got home and had something to eat it was almost 9pm. What I would say looking back, if you don't feel like studying just do a short question of a past exam question. It'll keep you in the zone. You won't feel like you wasted the time and you'll feel positive for having done a bit of work.

I hit a rough patch with the studying and decided I would make one last proper effort and get them done. In the space of 19 months I got engaged, built a house, got married and passed all of my final exams. I'm very much the average student.

Good diet, bit of exercise, supportive partner, positive attitude - no bother to you! And don't be afraid to contact the lecturers/tutors. Everyone else has probably done it already!

And in a few years time you will have it all done and dusted and it'll be great taking about the whole experience in a job interview. I always throw my experience in at interviews - "if you want a job done properly well then ask a busy man!".

Keep plugging away.