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How to show someone you care

  • 22-02-2012 12:04am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 98 ✭✭why so serious?


    Hhhh


Comments

  • Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Leonard Chilly Stalker


    you could try not getting drunk and getting him into trouble?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 98 ✭✭why so serious?


    Hhhhhh


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58 ✭✭NoobSaibot5


    Is it a repetitive thing? Like do you guys argue frequently or what?

    Personally I think if your at the point where you want to show someone you care about them well then it looks like things have gotten pretty bad. All I can say is from being on the other end of the scales and having my own friends do the same with me that when enough damage is done you can burn too many bridges before people leave you there. There's only so many times a friend will make excuses for your behaviour and if you in any way shape or form give a toss about your friend you should realise now that your actions could put a permanent drift between you two.

    Assess the friendship and think about how things have been going. Try not be biased and only think of how you are feeling; the goal here is to stop and consider your friends emotions and thoughts and actively reflect on how your own actions have effected them. Have you crossed the line with them? Have their been times when you've done things knowing the consequences would upset them?

    If you are in any way remorseful for hurting your friends feelings and you want to make it up to them, tell them you'd like to talk and meet some place quiet where both of you can have a chat. Tell them that you have been reflecting on your behaviour and that you genuinely value them as a mate and just want to clear the air about things. In a non hostile way, encourage the two of you to talk things through but most importantly listen to your friends feedback and allow them to actually have a voice.

    Ideally you should be listening more than talking and allowing them to get everything off their chest. See where it goes from there, if they want to stay friends and can move past the situation, learn from it. Do not make the mistake of repeating something that has caused a great deal of hurt to someone if you have the luxury of not being able to repeat it. With genuine intentions comes genuine remorse, and if you do genuinely feel bad and want to amend things, your friend will notice it.

    Best of luck :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 98 ✭✭why so serious?


    Thanks for your reply.you are obviously smart but it's definitely not as bad as that.trust me we have been through a lot and he's done bad things to me before too.we always forgive and forget though no matter what but I just feel bad over it and want to show him I respect him.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58 ✭✭NoobSaibot5


    People make mistakes, and friends especially hurt each other. It's why people fall out, because they've been hurt.

    If you respect him the best way to get that message across is to treat him with respect. Sit him down and tell him you've thought about this situation and you genuinely feel bad for it and that you'll learn from it. Most people react quite favourably to sincere, genuine expressions like that. If it's from the heart and you mean it (corny as it sounds), I think things should be alright. But if not, your just going to have to learn from the situation and hope that it's not repeated with other friends in the future.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 98 ✭✭why so serious?


    Yes thank you,i agree more with your last reply.I suffer with social anxiety disorder though and sometimes that's why I get so locked when im out.I just don't have enough confidence otherwise.I genuinely don't mean to cause trouble.i smoke weed everyday too.i suffer with depression too and the grass helps with that I think.I'm going to try give it up and sort out my life.his father worries about me too.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58 ✭✭NoobSaibot5


    As harsh as it sounds mate, your own personal demons and issues shouldn't be taken out on him. I doubt it's something you do intentionally, but as a grass smoker myself I can tell you now it doesn't help when your drinking. Some people get paranoid from smoking it too much, and as it is drink makes people act like eejits. If you know the two don't mix well together just simply don't do it. For what you think it's helping out with in terms of confidence it's also doing twice worse on your friendship with this guy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18 PK72


    Yes thank you,i agree more with your last reply.I suffer with social anxiety disorder though and sometimes that's why I get so locked when im out.I just don't have enough confidence otherwise.I genuinely don't mean to cause trouble.i smoke weed everyday too.i suffer with depression too and the grass helps with that I think.I'm going to try give it up and sort out my life.his father worries about me too.
    Smoking Grass helps with depression/anxiety? That's news to me - I understood that it caused rather than cured this. You need to drop the cruthes of drugs and booze so you can see the problem clearly and deal with it - running away from it won't get you anywhere. I'd say a good Doctor might be a starting point.


This discussion has been closed.
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