Straight couples in gay bars...

MarriedButBi

....are they welcome?

My wife has a gay friend, and she's been on at him to take us out some night and go clubbing with him.

I think it would be fun, maybe even really exciting given my bi-side, but I'm wondering if there might be hostility experienced by us if we're identified as "tourists" (I think I have heard that term used before).

Mental note - if it does happen, I better make sure to be randy when I get home, questions might be asked. Not to mention getting too drunk when out, I'd hate her to find me in a compromising position in the toilets!

Babybuff

I think I started out as a "tourist", I mainly went with a gay male friend but at this stage I could go there with 10 straight men and be considered gay. I stopped giving a funk what they thought and got to know them. Should be grand..as long as your missus has no problem dragging you out of the toilets

jaffacakesyum

I'd like to think straight couples/straight people in general are welcome in gay bars but unfortunately it's not always the case. The huge double standard exists that if gay people were refused from a straight bar for being gay then it is totally wrong. However, if straight people are refused from a gay bar then it's totally ok/"we don't want them there anyway"/"it's annoying if I hit on them and they're straight" etc. :rolleyes:

floggg

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'd like to think straight couples/straight people in general are welcome in gay bars but unfortunately it's not always the case. The huge double standard exists that if gay people were refused from a straight bar for being gay then it is totally wrong. However, if straight people are refused from a gay bar then it's totally ok/"we don't want them there anyway"/"it's annoying if I hit on them and they're straight" etc. :rolleyes:

Unfortunately given the recent thread about the George this appears to be true in the case of the G anyway.

However, I would add I would hope that's more to do with the attitude of management/bouncers than of the clientele as I know I wouldn't care at all. Indeed I'd love to bring my straight friends some time if they would come.

baztard

War on a Friday night has lots of straight singles and couples, and no one there seems to give a ****e. The front lounge can get a few straight couples aswell every now and again. The George gets quite a few straight girls going there with their gay friends. I cant say I've ever heard anyone in real life use the term 'tourists' although i have heard it in pop culture. And I've defo never seen any trouble with straight people in gay bars, so I would imagine its quite rare. Other than the odd bouncer, I doubt many people give a fook

keepkeyyellow

Well I don't really have any gay friends so the few times I do go to a gay bar it has to be with straight people having that said I've never had any trouble, except for when we were refused from Chambers in Cork. But then again we were refused from a lot of places that night....

Slang_Tang

Guys, in the thread on people being refused by the George, they were refused by bouncers. This is management's issue and does not reflect the feeling of patrons of gay bars.

I know lots of straight couples who go to gay bars. I've been with some. You'd be welcome. I doubt anyone would care.

A flatmate of mine in college once went with his mates to the George "for the laugh". I think in those sort of situations, OP, "the tourists" as you call them, it's a bit degrading because we're not animals in a zoo.

If you go with friends to dance, drink, chat, hang out, whatever, that's fine and I'd be very surprised if you encountered hostility.

MarriedButBi

Slang_Tang wrote: »

Guys, in the thread on people being refused by the George, they were refused by bouncers. This is management's issue and does not reflect the feeling of patrons of gay bars.

I know lots of straight couples who go to gay bars. I've been with some. You'd be welcome. I doubt anyone would care.

A flatmate of mine in college once went with his mates to the George "for the laugh". I think in those sort of situations, OP, "the tourists" as you call them, it's a bit degrading because we're not animals in a zoo.

If you go with friends to dance, drink, chat, hang out, whatever, that's fine and I'd be very surprised if you encountered hostility.

Thanks for this, I'm really keen to give it a try so looking forward to it, I'll try anything once!

blueruin

MarriedButBi wrote: »

Mental note - if it does happen, I better make sure to be randy when I get home, questions might be asked. Not to mention getting too drunk when out, I'd hate her to find me in a compromising position in the toilets!

Wow. You really and truly want to take the piss out of your wife don't you? When she eventually finds out, the fact that you took her to a gay bar will be all the more insulting.

StanMcConnell

baztard wrote: »

War on a Friday night has lots of straight singles and couples, and no one there seems to give a ****e. The front lounge can get a few straight couples aswell every now and again. The George gets quite a few straight girls going there with their gay friends. I cant say I've ever heard anyone in real life use the term 'tourists' although i have heard it in pop culture. And I've defo never seen any trouble with straight people in gay bars, so I would imagine its quite rare. Other than the odd bouncer, I doubt many people give a fook

WAR isn't a gay night, it's not a straight night either. It is what it is.

jaffacakesyum

Slang_Tang wrote: »

Guys, in the thread on people being refused by the George, they were refused by bouncers. This is management's issue and does not reflect the feeling of patrons of gay bars.

I know lots of straight couples who go to gay bars. I've been with some. You'd be welcome. I doubt anyone would care.

A flatmate of mine in college once went with his mates to the George "for the laugh". I think in those sort of situations, OP, "the tourists" as you call them, it's a bit degrading because we're not animals in a zoo.

If you go with friends to dance, drink, chat, hang out, whatever, that's fine and I'd be very surprised if you encountered hostility.

I'm sure you'd be able to dig up threads on this forum where posters say they don't like straight people going to gay bars - I've certainly seen it discussed on here in the past.

I've also had conversations with gay 'acquintences' (rather than friends) who have also expressed their opinion on it. To be fair, most of the time it's a more a case of people wanting more of their type of fish in the sea (!). It would be understandable, if it was a gay bar and 90% of the place was filled with straight people, but that's never the case so I don't really think it's a valid arguement.

Slang_Tang

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I've also had conversations with gay 'acquintences' (rather than friends) who have also expressed their opinion on it. To be fair, most of the time it's a more a case of people wanting more of their type of fish in the sea (!). It would be understandable, if it was a gay bar and 90% of the place was filled with straight people, but that's never the case so I don't really think it's a valid arguement.

I guess it depends on context. I get annoyed at straight people who think going to gay bars is a joke, or if people think it's edgy.

PK72

MarriedButBi wrote: »

....are they welcome?

My wife has a gay friend, and she's been on at him to take us out some night and go clubbing with him.

I think it would be fun, maybe even really exciting given my bi-side, but I'm wondering if there might be hostility experienced by us if we're identified as "tourists" (I think I have heard that term used before).

Mental note - if it does happen, I better make sure to be randy when I get home, questions might be asked. Not to mention getting too drunk when out, I'd hate her to find me in a compromising position in the toilets!

Been to gay bars/clubs a few times with straight friends, some of whom are couples - it's never been an issue.

I don't know what impression you have of a gay bar or club, but the toilet action is no more hectic than most other bars and clubs. Anyway, based on your post, sounds you might find your Mothership if you do go! :rolleyes:

Aurongroove

My mum and her friend (both straight) once or twice went for a night out to the George.

To be honest they definitely did go because they saw it as some sort of 'mad night out'.

but imagine it from their perspective:
a crowded bar full of attractive men, NOT hitting on them, not being guided toward them by their penises. you're free to strike up a conversation or pay a compliment "ouu, nice 6-pack" and get a response like "thank you sweetie<hug>".

the novelty of that sort of interaction, especially with men, and then the other prospects: Lesbian and TG women, CD/TV/TG men, etc etc.

for a straight woman especially, I would imagine, gay bars and the like would be a sort of novelty wonderland. One I wouldn't deprive anyone.

Now it's obviously a problem if a gay bar becomes so populated with straight people that you end up having to first establish if someone is in fact gay in a conversation:
I think as with confirming someone's age, bouncers should have the right in a gay bar to confirm someone's orientation in order to keep the LGBT/straight ratio to a reasonably pre-agreed level and saying "sorry, there are almost 20/30 straight people visiting tonight, we can't accept anymore, this is a gay venue".

My straight fascist regime over with, and going back to my previous point, I think It's nice to have straight people attending gay venues, furthermore it's our responsibility for those who do (can't believe i'm saying this) as a"community" (:rolleyes:) to make sure they have a positive experience. You never know where homophobia begins or ends, but if a handful of girls have a 'mad hen night' in the George, or a mum and her 'crazy friend' or a couple of straight lads in a group of mates who are other wise gay go out for a night in the george and have a good time, chances are when their children have awkward decisions to make when they hit their teens, that Mum and Dad will be better armed and more accepting having had positive social experiences with 'the LGBT community' and not shiver because they have no idea 'what goes on in those gay bars'.