Confused

LegacyUser

A couple of days ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months, everything was great between us but had little arguments , like most couples. I’ve been through break-ups before from a lot longer relationships (I’m 30). But this one is really bugging me. she was very upset when we met up for the “talk” and saying she was sorry but couldn’t do the little bickering anymore.

We both love each other , she even said this when i met up, to give her stuff, back as i said she was very upset breaking up and told me she loved me and that she could be making the biggest mistake of her life , but that she was sorry, so I said I respect her decision but I think we could’ve worked it out. So we said goodbye after a long hug.

So basically I just want a little advise its only been literally a few days and I’m so tempted to contact her but my family have said not to as she probably just say the whole “i still love you “ to make it easier on me/her. But other advise I got was contact her. From experience I know if someone has their mind made up that’s it and you’ll just make a fool of yourself. So I’m confused on what to do.

Thanks for reading.

Podgers

was she long out of a relationship when ye got together?

sounds to me that a past relationship/experiences might be bothering her?

LegacyUser

her last relationship was about 1 year ago. I think that its bothering so much because of how she acted when we parted, she tried kissing me, saying she loved me etc. also the fact that only a few days earlier (valentines) she wrote in the card how happy she was and looked forward to the future. But maybe she had it in her mind then and just needed another disagreement. As we had a small text argument about plans changing.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Hey there

It is still very early days so I understand wanting to contact her, but as she was the one to pull the plug so to speak, I'd leave it.

She does know where you are if she wants to get back in touch with you, but I think No Contact is always the best in these situations. No point contacting her and then subconscioulsy reading between the lines of everything she said.

It does get easier, just make plans for the weekend and a night out this week if possible so you have something to focus on.

Don't dwell on what could have been... won't change anything

Chin up, you will be happy again soon enough, even if you don't feel like that now.

Take care

Thanks for you kind words, its pretty much what my family have said to me. but my head is still fried thinking about all the good things/ time we had and what "if" . From experiances I know this does nobody any good. But still feel hurt/confused/lost i guess.

Lorna123

Confused2012 wrote: »

her last relationship was about 1 year ago. I think that its bothering so much because of how she acted when we parted, she tried kissing me, saying she loved me etc. also the fact that only a few days earlier (valentines) she wrote in the card how happy she was and looked forward to the future. But maybe she had it in her mind then and just needed another disagreement. As we had a small text argument about plans changing.

Sounds to me like this is just a row and will pass over. Why would someone who doesn't love you tell you she does and be upset about parting from you? Also, the Valentine's card proves it too. You were meant for one another, we all have rows but guess what.......the making up is great. Get in touch with her and stop hyperventilating !!:D

LegacyUser

Lorna123 wrote: »

Sounds to me like this is just a row and will pass over. Why would someone who doesn't love you tell you she does and be upset about parting from you? Also, the Valentine's card proves it too. You were meant for one another, we all have rows but guess what.......the making up is great. Get in touch with her and stop hyperventilating !!:D

Thanks for the reply Lorna, but unfortuately I dont think its that simple she did make it pretty clear that it was over even when i did ask "is there anything worth saving" she says "i dont Know" so I really think Ill leave it to her, if I dont hear from her so be it. But thanks for your advice

Flange/Flanders

From past experience, I've had girls tell me that they loved me and wanted to spend their life with me and then broke up with me over something petty. The was i see it, if a girl is willing to break up over something small, she could quite possibly be dramatic. Personally, I know what a big step it is breaking up with someone (its huge!) and would never break up with someone unless it was absolutely permanent, therefore if someone breaks up with me, I usually accept that its permanent. Not saying that ye'res is permanent but it struck me that she split up with you over normal couple arguments.

Lorna123

Confused2012 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply Lorna, but unfortuately I dont think its that simple she did make it pretty clear that it was over even when i did ask "is there anything worth saving" she says "i dont Know" so I really think Ill leave it to her, if I dont hear from her so be it. But thanks for your advice

Gosh Confused on reflection if she was adamant that she wanted to break up and your gut feeling is that she did then just let her cool off for a while. Is this breakup based solely on the last row? It seems odd that she would write in a Valentine card a week ago that she was very happy with you and then suddenly she wants to break up. Give it a week because time will sort this one out. Best of Luck.

LegacyUser

this sounds so much like my past experience man. Was told by a girl how much she loved me and then was planning trips away with me, next thing we had 1 fight over something small and she dumped me. She got back with me a few times then but continually broke up with me over small things. From what i can see in your post she broke up with you over little things. My advise: thank your lucky stars cos if a person is inclined to split up with you over something small, could you really be able to rely on her if you got together long term and something bad happened. Personally i know that relationships shouldn't be easily broken if both people truly deeply love each other.

Lorna123

Confused2012 wrote: »

So basically I just want a little advise its only been literally a few days and I’m so tempted to contact her but my family have said not to as she probably just say the whole “i still love you “ to make it easier on me/her. But other advise I got was contact her. From experience I know if someone has their mind made up that’s it and you’ll just make a fool of yourself. So I’m confused on what to do.

Thanks for reading.

Read some very good advice on another blog to a situation a bit like this and I thought it was excellent. Here goes:

She knows you want to get back together.
She has your number, your address, she is choosing not to call you.
Even if she did change her mind and want to get back together, she will come to that decision quicker if she thinks you are getting on with life, not pining for her.

So maybe wait until she cotacts you.

LegacyUser

Lorna123 wrote: »

Read some very good advice on another blog to a situation a bit like this and I thought it was excellent. Here goes:

She knows you want to get back together.
She has your number, your address, she is choosing not to call you.
Even if she did change her mind and want to get back together, she will come to that decision quicker if she thinks you are getting on with life, not pining for her.

So maybe wait until she cotacts you.

Yeah i think thats exactly it and puts everything in black and white for me, so thanks , i havent contacted and I wont, I just gotta start looking forward to time with friends and family. At the moment if I did hear from her, im not sure id be jumping around with happiness and the more i think it its only been a few months whats from stoppping her doing it again down the line.

Payton

Hi OP, I think you need to give eachother space, little bickering arguments can be worse than a full blazing row. Maybe you'll come to realise what the rows were about and learn how to avoid them.
Take some time out and get some head space for yourself. In time you'll see if you are meant for eachother.
Just step back and learn from it.
Best of luck.