thinking of guys when masterbating

mtjm

Is it normal? often when I'm doing my business I would have a fantasy of doing it with guys, I like women too and have been with women,

just want to ask it it normal to have fantasy of doing with guys?

Aurongroove

yes it's normal: it probably means you're Bisexual.

you're free to act upon it or not, it's not completely out of the question for bisexual people to live their lives with one partner (thus one sex). I know a number of Bi people who only date the opposite sex.

Pacifist Pigeon

I think everyone gets curious from time to time. It's certainly not unusually. There's certainly nothing usually about being attracted to the same-sex.

Can I ask, how much do you think about guys in that way compared to women? Could you like give a percentage? 10% of the time, 30% of the time?

Personally, I don't believe in labels because I think there is a huge spectrum of sexual preferences, it's not as simple as being "straight", "gay" or "bisexual". There's also many different types of attraction, it's not as simple as just sexual attraction.

I know this might seem a bit of a leap for and I'm not too sure if you're ready, but perhaps you could try experimenting with a guy (safely of course and nothing over the top). They say that you never know until you've tried. I could turn out that you are attracted to guys, it could turn out that you're not. Fantasies aren't always reality.

Aurongroove

Pacifist Pigeon wrote: »

it's not as simple as being "straight", "gay" or "bisexual". There's also many different types of attraction, it's not as simple as just sexual attraction.

Oh please, like any of that is important to the OP question. why not point him toward a few dissertations on orientation while your at it?

thinks of men when masturbating + thinks of women when masturbating = bi-curiosity.
Actually having sex with men + actually having sex with women = bisexuality

Pacifist Pigeon

Aurongroove wrote: »

Oh please, like any of that is important to the OP question. why not point him toward a few dissertations on orientation while your at it?

thinks of men when masturbating + thinks of girls when masturbating = bi-curiosity.
Actually having sex with girls + actually having sex with men = bisexuality

Actually having sex with men doesn't necessarily mean that you're gay or bisexual. For instance, you might have sex with a man and it may turn out that you don't actually like it. That's entirely feasible. The OP is very new to all of this it seem, so I honestly wouldn't go putting labels on anything yet.

Also, thinking about men while masturbating doesn't actually mean that you're going to like having sex with a man.

I believe, as I said, that there is a huge spectrum of sexual preferences. For example, I see myself as 90% gay because I can appreciate a good looking woman (though not as much as I would appreciate a good looking man) but I'm not really as sexually attracted to women. I just round off at the nearest extreme point and label myself as gay. It's not the most accurate description but I certainly wouldn't label myself as bisexual.

I tend to believe "gay", "straight" and "bisexual" is just a false trichotomy. I just think that society is too caught up with labels. It'd be nice to see a time in the future (when same-sex attraction is seen as an everyday thing) where people would simple refer to their orientation as a ratio, say, 10:90 straight-gay, or 70:30 straight-gay, 95:5 straight-gay, etc., etc..

Aurongroove

do you think you have some sort of mutant powers to see through these 'labels' that the entire rest of civilization are blind to the tyranny of?

Sometimes words are descriptions and descriptions are for communication. It may actually be becasue you are obsessed with labels that you see them everywhere. using ratios as you;ve suggested would be hideously cumbersome.

I see "straight", "gay" and "bisexual" as neither positive nor negative descriptions. I don't lose sleep about being insignificantly off the ideal pan center of a word's meaning, nor do I feel burdened by the description 'gay'.

It's not a label, it's description. I am gay, and by gay I mean I am sexually attracted to men. if people want specifics, I'll give them but to a Lehman, I'm gay end of story.

bi curious is bi curious. and bi sexual is bi sexual.

Pacifist Pigeon

Aurongroove wrote: »

do you think you have some sort of mutant powers to see through these 'labels' that the entire rest of civilization are blind to the tyranny of?

Sometimes words are descriptions and descriptions are for communication. It may actually be becasue you are obsessed with labels that you see them everywhere. using ratios as you;ve suggested would be hideously cumbersome.

I see "straight", "gay" and "bisexual" as neither positive nor negative descriptions. I don't lose sleep about being insignificantly off the ideal pan center of a word's meaning, nor do I feel burdened by the description 'gay'.

It's not a label, it's description. I am gay, and by gay I mean I am sexually attracted to men. if people want specifics, I'll give them but to a Lehman, I'm gay end of story.

bi curious is bi curious. and bi sexual is bi sexual.

I'm not suggesting that there is a positive or negative association with these labels but I just think they're overwhelming for people who are just going to terms with their sexual attractions, people like the OP. Society pushes to label things too quickly before people have time to really figure out who they are. That's what I am against these sort of labels, that and I don't believe in absolutes.

baby and crumble

Guys, take the discussing of labels and semantics either to PM or another thread (although it has been discussed repeatedly in many threads). Address the OP's issue.

OP, if you want to think about guys, think about them. If you want to think about girls, think about them. I'm a firm believer that what pops into your head to "get you through" is not neccesarily a reflection on a deep part of your psyche. It's often just a fantasy that does the job, usually because it's a big taboo. I don't know of many people who fantasize about the missionary position with the lights off with their partner while enjoying some alone time, you know? I know I don't... (Always lights on, I'm THAT kinky :cool:)

Coeurdepirate

Aurongroove wrote: »

Oh please, like any of that is important to the OP question. why not point him toward a few dissertations on orientation while your at it?

thinks of men when masturbating + thinks of women when masturbating = bi-curiosity.
Actually having sex with men + actually having sex with women = bisexuality

Aurongroove wrote: »

do you think you have some sort of mutant powers to see through these 'labels' that the entire rest of civilization are blind to the tyranny of?

Sometimes words are descriptions and descriptions are for communication. It may actually be becasue you are obsessed with labels that you see them everywhere. using ratios as you;ve suggested would be hideously cumbersome.

I see "straight", "gay" and "bisexual" as neither positive nor negative descriptions. I don't lose sleep about being insignificantly off the ideal pan center of a word's meaning, nor do I feel burdened by the description 'gay'.

It's not a label, it's description. I am gay, and by gay I mean I am sexually attracted to men. if people want specifics, I'll give them but to a Lehman, I'm gay end of story.

bi curious is bi curious. and bi sexual is bi sexual.

This is off-topic but I think you're being unnecessarily hostile.

baby and crumble

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

This is off-topic but I think you're being unnecessarily hostile.

You're right, that is off-topic. Back onto it or I shall wave my little yellow card at you and nobody wants that!

foggy_lad

OP from what you describe it probably means you have a problem most humans suffer from which is just being horny.

Babybuff

baby and crumble wrote: »

OP, if you want to think about guys, think about them. If you want to think about girls, think about them. I'm a firm believer that what pops into your head to "get you through" is not neccesarily a reflection on a deep part of your psyche. It's often just a fantasy that does the job, usually because it's a big taboo. I don't know of many people who fantasize about the missionary position with the lights off with their partner while enjoying some alone time, you know? I know I don't... (Always lights on, I'm THAT kinky :cool:)

I'm weird, I mostly fantasize about being cuddled. I generally wake up with a face full of pillow, the feathery kind.
..although I dream of better things while asleep

Op, if it's just a fantasy then it's just a fantasy. Lot's of people don't really want to indulge in fantasy's in real life but it could be you're thinking that maybe you would like to explore the option, which is perfectly ok too.

foggy_lad

Babybuff wrote: »

I'm weird, I mostly fantasize about being cuddled. I generally wake up with a face full of pillow, the feathery kind.
..although I dream of better things while asleep

Op, if it's just a fantasy then it's just a fantasy. Lot's of people don't really want to indulge in fantasy's in real life but it could be you're thinking that maybe you would like to explore the option, which is perfectly ok too.

You should be ok as long as it's a big fluffy pillow that you can breath through:D

DubArk

…I wanted to eat of the fruit of all the trees in the garden of the world… And so, indeed, I went out, and so I lived. My only mistake was that I confined myself so exclusively to the trees of what seemed to me the sun-lit side of the garden, and shunned the other side for its shadow and its gloom.

Oscar Wilde

MarriedButBi

I have those fantasies too when I masturbate. I havent had sex with a guy, but I think I'd like to. But the reality might not be as enjoyable. Life is full of mysteries, some we solve, some we continue to mull over

Aurongroove

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

This is off-topic but I think you're being unnecessarily hostile.

Sorry you think that.
I do have a tendency to come across that way!, it;s always been an issue, in real life I have the opposite problem: I come across as light-hearted even when I'm trying to be serious

for my sake, try to imagine my posts being read out in a boring voice.

Rick_

Like the voice from 1:48 onwards in this clip!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beN7FftWNCM

Aurongroove

that's exactly the tone of all my posts, ya huge big bastard.

(it works remarkable well)

going back on topic, I used to think about very strange and abstract concepts when masturbating as a teen. and hardly ever actually people.

but whenever it was people it was always men.

Rick_

So.... what.... you imagined doing it with a filing cabinet up a tree with a pelican watching and stuff?

oisindoyle

DubArk wrote: »

…I wanted to eat of the fruit of all the trees in the garden of the world… And so, indeed, I went out, and so I lived. My only mistake was that I confined myself so exclusively to the trees of what seemed to me the sun-lit side of the garden, and shunned the other side for its shadow and its gloom.

Oscar Wilde

Lovely 'n all, but did he have a fiddle,,,,

Aurongroove

Paddy C wrote: »

So.... what.... you imagined doing it with a filing cabinet up a tree with a pelican watching and stuff?

please :rolleyes:
that's so far inside the box, it can't even see the walls of the box.

Liberal Irishman

MarriedButBi wrote: »

I have those fantasies too when I masturbate. I havent had sex with a guy, but I think I'd like to. But the reality might not be as enjoyable. Life is full of mysteries, some we solve, some we continue to mull over

Have you given your other half any idea of how you feel?

crouchingtiger

Explore your sexuality, there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Do what you feel like doing. Its completely normal.

coolperson05

If it's a sexual desire thing, could it be fulfilled with some...ahem...accessories! (aka toys) for your other half to use with/on you??!

(I feel dirty after typing that! - the shame on Boards)