Find it impossible to relax.

jayteecork

Not sure if this is an "illness" or whatever but I'll go anyway.

I'm 32, and nowadays I find it impossible to just sink into the sofa/bed and watch TV/read or whatever.

I remember growing up until I was about 20 being able to do this no problem. Just become part of the couch and stay there and watch 4 movies in a row or whatever. These days unless the film is brilliant I usually have to watch it in two parts.

I am always aware of my own heart beating and people often say I'm visibly shaking, even thought I mightn't have drunk in weeks/taking any medication.

I've been to my doctor about it plenty of times over the years and have been refered to a neurologist twice, but on both times they found nothing amiss.

I thought it might be something called "restless legs syndrome" for a while but it's not really in my legs more of a full body thing.

I tried the exercise route - bought an exercise bike and used it until I could ride no more and still couldn't relax after it. In fact the increased heart rate made it more difficult.

Worst of all is eating before bed, particularly something sweet. My heart feels like it's literally jumping out of my chest. It's then impossible to sleep for ages.

It makes me very shy around potential partners and curling up together on the couch is impossible for me. I think the anxiety makes it worse. I can't get past the 2 month stage in relationship. People also tell I'm very jittery in my sleep - that I make sudden jerky movements.

It's becoming a nightmare really. All I can think is my ecstasy/speed use in my early twenties but I don't know of anyone else I was taking stuff with who feels like me.

I seemed to have exhausted all medical avenues and don't really know where to go from here. It's certainly affected my mental health as well.

Anyone else suffer or hear of anything like this?

Thanks.