Lost my best friend

LegacyUser

I think Ive finally reached rock bottom in my life and there's no going up.

I got a really good degree and moved home as I couldnt afford to continue college until I saved up. That was fine. It had to happen as I couldnt financially stay where I was and there were no jobs around the area I studied.

The thing is I had lived in there for 4 years at that stage and my best friends were there. I had moved on from my life at home tbh, my friends were at college and I was so happy. Happier than I had ever been. so coming home was really scary but I felt I had cemented true friendships in college and the distance would be hard but as long as there was an effort made, it would be fine and I would be back within a year and a half after saving anyway.

I couldnt have been more wrong. My absolute best friend has in my opinion completely side lined me. we were so close its hard to explain. there for each other, know everything about each other and just really comfortable around each other, one of the friends you can talk with for hours on the phone, or have coffee and never even need to say much.

since I went home, its changed. I understand it happens, but Ive visited, called, texted ect. the weird thing is, we've spent summers apart before, due to college, but this was just different. another thing is, and I sound petty and jealous, another friend of hers, who I'll admit I never liked, she's just a terrible influence, causing drama on nights out and on occasion getting us into awkward situations on nights out, has now apparently replaced me. It sounds so childish, but Im deliberately being left out of inside jokes, events, and conversations by this girl and sadly my friend doesnt seem to be wary of it.

Im not jealous I will add, but yes Im upset how its affected our friendship. I never want to cause drifts between friends either, people choose who to be friends with but this other friend deliberately intervenes to keep me out. I voiced this to my best friend recently and it backfired, huge argument and well I was basically told, theres no such thing as best friends, and I was childlish and that I was being selfish. we made up since, but its not the same. its gotten even worse.

I guess it really does hurt, because she was my best friend, her words hurt because she had said it too, sometimes its hard to say those things not to sound childish, but basically its like ive gone home for a while, so Ive been replaced. Its so hurtful. Ive even cancelled my fb account for a while because I cant bear being left out of stuff or conversations or msgs not replied to for ages and yet all the activity going on her page with that girl.

its a terrible situation and really depressed me. the worst part is ive no job, still looking, no money, cant drive, and so Im housebound basically. Im only 22, trying to get a job to save and spend every weekend alone now. I cant make new friends as Ive literarly not a cent to my name that I could spend on hobbies, or joining stuff. every cent I need to save for my future.

but the loss of my friend is killing me. I know people move on and such and faze out, but christ, I love her dearly as a my friend, trust her and had the best years of my life just hanging out ect.......its hit me so hard how she just abandoned the friendship in the space of a few months after all these years and Im so lonely right now.

peter barrins

This post has been deleted.

The Lovely Muffin

If you are feeling depressed OP you should speak to your doctor as they can help you.

Stavro Mueller

I think you need to accept that perhaps you'll not be friends with this girl in the future. Or if you do stay friendly, it won't be at the same level. Not all people have a person who they'd consider to be a best friend. Instead, they might have a group of good friends. I just wonder were you a bit clingy and possessive towards your friend? Or perhaps you have just been supplanted by someone she likes better and lives nearer to her.

Either way, it's time to stop thinking about this and driving yourself mad. Your priority is to get your own life moving. you say you're house bound but how about doing some volunteering and getting a lift off someone? You need to get out of the house or you'll go crazy. You say you can't drive. Is there any relative or friend locally who could help you get started? Regarding job hunting, are you confining it to your local area or are you willing to move elsewhere? Even abroad if it comes to that?

Julybride

I agree with the previous poster's suggestion. You need to talk to a GP and/or professional. To outsiders like me, this sounds very dramatic as, as I will always say, nobody is irreplacable. In saying that, this is not the way you view & feel the situation and you can not ignore this. You need to adress it. I would imagine that having other issues in your life affect the way you are reacting to this. I am sure that if you were in a job that fulfilled you, interacting with other peopple etc..., you probably would not have felt that way.

Relations come and go, they also evolve & change. This is the human nature & life. While this pain seem umbearable, you will be ok...You should pick up the phone and make an appointemnt to see a GP or if money is a problem, ring one of those free medical places.