Why do I enjoy crossdressing

LegacyUser

I'm in my mid twenties and have been crossdressing at home/halloween for a few years. It is not something I have ever had support from family or friends in. I am not attracted to Men in anyway but still feel the urge.

I have looked online and am sure it's not a typical TG thing as I do not feel that I am in the wrong body. To me it's probably a sexual thing in that I get turned on by the act of wearing women's clothes and love the thought of wearing high heels. The biggest thing that concerns me is that after nights out drinking this side really comes out and it has caused arguments with my fiance.

Is their anyone in the Dublin area who can provide advice on this or is it something I'll just have to deal with.

P.S. Sorry for the anon post, this is a part of my life I keep hidden from the rest.

Aurongroove

Basically you like to cross dress.
Straight men have been cross dressing for centuries.

Rick_

Many straight people have cross dressed for fun, for work or whatever. You don't need to have an attraction to other men to find wearing womens clothing sexy. It's just a sexual kink you have and there's nothing wrong with that.

If it is something you intend carrying on for the rest of your life, it's best to sit your fiancee down and talk about it. If she doesn't like it maybe she will come around eventually? But if she can't get her head around it at all, then I don't see how your marriage will survive, if it ever happens.

deirdre_dub

JackOrJill wrote: »

I'm in my mid twenties and have been crossdressing at home/halloween for a few years. It is not something I have ever had support from family or friends in. I am not attracted to Men in anyway but still feel the urge.

I have looked online and am sure it's not a typical TG thing as I do not feel that I am in the wrong body.

Unfortunately you are under the wrong impression as to what it means to be transgender on a number of fronts.

First, being transgender has nothing to do with your sexual orientation (i.e. with whether you are attracted to men, women, both, neither etc). Second, not all trans people "feel like they are in the wrong body". The whole "wrong body" thing is a bit of a trope anyway. I'm transgender, I'm now living full-time as female, and it's not so much that I feel I'm "in the wrong body" as that I know I cannot function as a male. Finally, relatively few trans people seek or need medical intervention.

Anyway, back to you. Your experience is actually quite typical and common in the trans community. There are plenty of trans people who identify with their birth gender, feel broadly comfortable as their birth gender, have no need or interest in any aspect of transition, but still have a deep need to explore and express that side of them which is of the other gender. I know at least as many people who have your experience as people who are actually transitioning from one gender to another.

Is their anyone in the Dublin area who can provide advice on this or is it something I'll just have to deal with.

There are two main transgender social clubs in Dublin - the oldest one is "Natalie's Gemini Club" - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nataliesgeminiclub The newest one is "TH Dublin" - http://www.th-dublin.com/ I've been to both, and I can vouch for both. Indeed, they helped save my life.

There is a long-standing well-established transgender peer support group in Dublin. Email tpsgdublin@gmail.com - everything will be held in the strictest confidence. However, whereas the support group is open to people like yourself, the fact is, unfortunately, that pretty much all of the people who attend the group are transitioning or interested in transition.

P.S. Sorry for the anon post, this is a part of my life I keep hidden from the rest.

Completely understood. There are some of us who are working hard to try and change Irish society so that people like yourself can live more openly.

Good luck.

deirdre_dub

I should add that the Dublin trans peer support group now also has a phone number - <snip - please do not publish mobile numbers>

Mod - the phone number is not in the Golden Pages! So you might as well delete this post...

cafecolour

Terminology is being confused here. 'Transgender' is the term for someone who feels they are the wrong body.

'Transvestite' is the term for people who like to wear the opposite gender clothes (but don't want to be the opposite gender), generally as a fetish. The vast majority are straight men.

There is no problem. You're perfectly normal. The only problem is your girlfriend, who isn't comfortable with it (possibly because it still has gay associations). Maybe she'll adjust. Tell her to read some dan savage and google 'good giving and game'.

Powerhouse

JackOrJill wrote: »

Is their anyone in the Dublin area who can provide advice on this or is it something I'll just have to deal with.

If you are genuinely interested in having your question answered rather than just attracting a support group would a psychologist not be the best person to have a chat with?

Energise

What is most concerning is your behaviour when you drink...this indicates some deeper unanswered questions, I have lived with this desire all my life, and I have resisted, it is all about boundaries...as once you start where do you stop. Also most hetrosexual men who cross dress have intimacy issues with there partner and dressing is a way to connect with femininity without having to deal with the messiness of a real relationship....in other words its an adolescent crutch...you will have this desire all you life....how you manage it will make or break you....

blatantrereg

If drinking leads to arguments with your fiancée then dont drink so much.

Respect the fact she doesn't want to see you doing it. Or split up with her. Either way quit trying to force her into something she doesn't like.

I think you posted here about this before. If so then you only introduced this aspect of yourself to her after you were engaged. It's not ok to try to force her to accept something you hid from her until she committed.

She doesn't like it. Deal with it.

Taltos

Closing this as thread is over a month old at this point and the OP has not been back.
Please refer to our charter in regards to reviving older threads.

Thanks
Taltos